I mean, you can’t really lose weight without dieting, everybody knows that. But what if this so-called conventional wisdom isn’t very wise after all? What if – hear me out – you could lose all the weight you want and keep it off forever, without feeling like you’re on a diet at all? My friend, you can, and I’m about to tell you how.
Hello hello GOALfriend, welcome to the podcast. Before we get into it, I want to clarify a concept that’s going to change the way you think about weight loss.
Y’all know I’m a weight loss life coach, which means that everything we talk about here on the podcast is all about your mindset – examining your thoughts, feeling your feelings, and understanding your behavior so you can get your goal.
Through that lens, I want to offer you something today that’s going to really stretch your brain, and here it is: you can DO all the things to lose weight – which is to say, creating belief in yourself and eating in a slight caloric deficit over time, while supporting your menopausal metabolism with adequate hydration, sleep, and exercise – without FEELING like you’re on a diet.
Because, my friend, your feelings don’t come from what you’re doing – they come from your thoughts.
Right now, there’s a very good chance that you’re following The 5-0 Method (my free weight loss program for women over 50 that you can download from getyourgoal.com) by trying to just make yourself do the five things every day.
You’re forcing yourself to journal from a feeling of obligation, because you’re thinking something like, “Pahla told me this is good for me.”
You’re eating the right number of calories from a feeling of restriction, because you’re thinking things like, “I can’t eat that pizza,” or “I shouldn’t have dessert,” or “I can only have the low calorie ice cream.”
You’re drinking your water from a feeling of pressure, because you’re thinking “Gotta get all my water in, hope I don’t pee my pants on the way home from work.”
You’re going to bed and getting up at the same time every day from a feeling of duty, because you’re thinking something like, “This is what I’m supposed to do in order to lose weight.” And yes I said “duty.”
And you’re exercising moderately from a burdened feeling of responsibility, because you’re thinking “I have to do this so I don’t end up like my mother.”
And make no mistake about it, all these dieting thoughts, creating all these dieting feelings are exactly why you’re struggling to lose weight and wish you could just be done with dieting.
Well, you can absolutely be done with feeling like you’re on a diet while you’re losing weight, and here’s how: by taking ownership of the thoughts and feelings you’re having right now, and recognizing that you can think and feel anything about weight loss that you want to.
My friend, come with me to the land of possibility, and let’s explore three other ways you could feel about losing weight. And real quick, before I list them, let me gently offer you that some of these might not feel accessible at all right now.
That’s totally normal, completely okay, and exactly why I brought them to the podcast today – so you can just try them on for size in small doses, which is exactly how we change our mindset about weight loss!
Possibility #1 for how to lose weight without feeling like you’re on a diet: you could feel CURIOUS
Curiosity is one of my favorite feelings, and that’s why I listed it first. I love feeling curious! I love doing puzzles, I love figuring things out, and I love learning something new, even when it comes to weight loss.
Feeling curious activates the problem-solving part of your brain, and can be conjured intentionally by asking yourself a question. In so many situations where your brain would just automatically offer you a “diet-feeling” thought, you can spark curiosity on purpose.
For example, with your daily journaling, instead of sitting down with it and thinking forlornly, “I don’t know what to write,” you can ask yourself “What topic do I most want to journal about today?” or “What will move me forward right now?”
Rather than complaining about how few calories you have left in your daily target, you can ask yourself, “How can I make sure I have room for dessert tonight?”
Instead of approaching your water drinking like a chore, you can ask, “How could I make this fun or pleasurable?” That same question could apply to your bedtime or waking time, too.
And when it comes to exercising, rather than telling yourself that you have to get in your steps for the day (which, by the way, is a myth anyway – the number of steps you take in a day has absolutely nothing to do with weight loss), you can ask yourself, “What kind of movement would feel really good right now?”
Feeling CURIOUS about my weight loss tasks was so much more satisfying for me than all those years of just trying to cram myself into another diet.
Notice the difference between the heavy, tight, uncomfortable diet feelings, versus the gentle electricity of curiosity. Feeling like you’re on a diet is weighing you down, but feeling curious can light you up.
Possibility #2 for how to lose weight without feeling like you’re on a diet: you could feel SPACIOUS, OPEN, or GENEROUS
I put these three feelings together because they’re pretty similar and, just like curiosity, they’re some of my favorite things to feel when it comes to weight loss. But they might be a little bit elusive for you when you first try to create them intentionally.
Right now, you’re so used to feeling restricted and you’ve been told your whole life that keeping a lid on things, or buckling down, or using your willpower, or putting your nose to the grindstone is the backbone of getting what you want in this world, especially when it comes to weight loss.
So going directly from that tight squeezy space into the expansion of spaciousness and generosity could be tough.
But let’s explore it together, right now on the podcast, so you can have a taste of what it can be like.
Imagine approaching your journal with a thought like, “I can do as much or as little of this as I like.” Picture yourself counting calories with a thought like, “I have room for everything I want in good-sized portions.”
Can you see yourself drinking your water while thinking something like, “It feels so good to give my body what she needs.” Or going to bed or getting up with a thought like, “This is exactly what I want to do right now.” Or – my favorite – completing a nice moderate workout while thinking, “I get to do this again tomorrow!”
It might feel out of reach right now, but these are actually some of the exact thoughts I have about my daily routine.
Notice the difference between how droopy and closed in you feel from obligation and duty – you know, diet feelings – versus how your shoulders pull back and you can take a deep breath from spaciousness, openness, and generosity. Feeling like you’re on a diet is shutting you down, but feeling generous will open you up.
And finally, possibility #3 for how to lose weight without feeling like you’re on a diet: you could feel DECISIVE
Yes, I saved the best for last. Maybe it’s because I’m a Scorpio, but to me, decisive is way up there with love and happiness as my Top Three desirable feelings. I deeply enjoy the feeling of decisiveness.
Especially as compared to the confusion and overwhelm and powerlessness I used to feel when I was trying to lose weight by dieting.
And let me assure you that I’m not telling you that you need to make a bunch of decisions, or that you need to have everything planned ahead of time! I mean, you can make a bunch of decisions and you can plan ahead, but your feelings don’t come from your actions, they come from your thoughts.
And, hands down, one of the most powerful, decisive-feeling thoughts you can have when it comes to losing weight is “I know what I want.”
You, yes you, can sit down with your journal and tell yourself that you know what you want to get from it, instead of waffling and second-guessing and thinking that you’re not sure.
You can hit your calorie target every day because you know you want to, rather than dithering and fretting and asking yourself endlessly if you’re doing the right thing.
You can drink your water, go to bed and get up in the morning, and even exercise moderately each day with the feeling of decisiveness that’s created from a thought like “I know what I want.”
Even if what you want is to not exercise, or not journal, or not track your calories, or not drink your water.
Notice the difference between the flittering, flighty feeling of indecision, versus the solid, grounded presence of the feeling of decisiveness. Feeling like you’re on a diet is pulling you in a thousand different directions, but feeling decisive keeps you right on track.
Now, the truth of it is, I only shared my favorite weight loss feelings with you today, but you can actually feel anything while you’re losing weight. Feeling restriction, obligation, pressure, uncertainty, frustration, anger, or overwhelm are some of your options.
When you download The 5-0 Method and get started on the five daily tasks, you absolutely can feel like you’re on a diet.
But you’re also 100% capable of feeling curious, open, spacious, generous, and decisive. It’s up to you.
Thanks for listening today – I’ll talk to you again soon!
