Ep. 311: Stop “shoulding” on yourself

Ready to change your mind about weight loss? Grab The 5-0 Method to lose all the weight you want and keep it off forever.

Feel like there are things you should be doing for weight loss (like drinking enough water), but you’re just not motivated? This week on the Get Your GOAL podcast, we’re diving into the struggle of consistency and I’m sharing my personal experience with staying hydrated. So grab your water bottle and let’s reframe your mindset to break free from the burdensome “shoulds!”

It’s happened to all of us at some point. You start off all gung-ho about drinking the recommended amount of water every day, only to fall off the wagon and berate yourself for not doing what you “should” be doing. Sound familiar?

But here’s the thing I’ve learned: all this “shoulding” doesn’t do you any good. It just drags you down and makes you feel burdened. And what’s worse is that it often leads to avoiding doing the very thing you’re “shoulding” yourself to do!>

So, what’s the solution? Instead of telling yourself, “I *should* be drinking my water,” ask yourself, “Why do I *want* to drink water?”

It seems like such a small difference, but trust me, focusing on the reasons you want to do something makes it easier to take action. Rather than feeling burdened, you’ll discover a sense of curiosity and excitement about drinking water.

And here’s the real secret: It’s finding your own motivation, your own reasons for wanting to drink water that’ll get you to actually drink. Maybe it’s because you want to feel energized, or because it supports your weight loss goal, or simply because it makes you feel good. Whatever it is, make it personal and meaningful to you.

Stop “shoulding” on yourself and start creating the results you really want.

Cheers to a fabulous, hydrated life, my friend!


Hello, hello, GOALfriend. Welcome to episode number 311 of the Get Your Goal podcast, and I've got another special one for you. If this is the 1st episode you've ever listened to ever, you are in the middle of a 3 part series, which isn't held together by anything other than the theme of Q&A, so don't feel like you have to go back and listen to old episodes unless you want to because I know I do that. When I find a new podcast, I don't think I have ever unless it was a podcast that I, like, didn't enjoy the 1st episode. Anytime I'm listening to a new podcast I will listen to, like, 10 episodes in a row. So help yourself and enjoy this really special one that we've got for you today where we are digging in the archives, you guys. I have coming up for us a live Q&A session in early November that I want you to come to, which means that you need to get on my email list. You can go to getyourgoal.com/list. Join my email list. Get exclusive invitations to Q&A sessions, master classes, Other fun stuff that I do, and enjoy this particular one. This one, I loved my answer. I loved the question, and I loved my answer to this one. This one is all about shoulding on yourself and what to do instead of it. I hope you enjoy this. Take it away, past Pahla. Melissa says I was very consistent with drinking the recommended amount of water daily until I wasn't. Literally, the story of my life right here. This happens to me with some frequency. I have been struggling to drink the right amount of water since, like, 6th grade. Anyways, I realized I had slipped in this area and my first thought was I should be drinking my water, which just so you know, Probably not a helpful thought, which she does know. Melissa already went on with this, but I'm telling the rest of us at home. I should Be doing something. I don't care how you finish that sentence. Just just picture it right now. I should be, doesn't that just, like, drag your shoulders down? Like Like, you know that's not a helpful feeling or a helpful thought because the feeling is so burdened. When I say I should do something, it feels like a burden. And then what I frequently do, rather than the thing that I should be doing because I feel so burdened, I do Everything else in the world, I find myself on my phone. I find myself, you know, watching TV. Sometimes I procrastinate by cleaning the house instead of doing something that I should be doing, which is good because, I mean, I never clean the house other than that. So Sometimes that works in my favor. But when you say I should be doing something, it doesn't feel good, which doesn't drive good actions, which therefore doesn't get you a good result. Melissa already knew this. So anyway, so she says, I didn't wanna should on myself. Yes. Good job. Says so instead, I asked myself, why should I drink the water. And I want you to know that I mean, you got an answer. The only answer I could come up with is because everyone says I should. But that question, why Should I drink my water? Here's what I want you to know about, like, journaling or finding your thoughts. When you ask yourself a question, one of the best ways to know whether or not it's a good question designed to get you good answers is to phrase it as a statement. So when you say, why should I be drinking my water? When you phrase that as a sentence, it's It's still I should be drinking my water. So the question that you might wanna ask yourself is, why do I want to drink water? Like, what feels good about drinking water? And it's very subtly different. You guys, I can't emphasize this enough. Sometimes it's the difference of, like, 1 word or just a teeny tiny little twist of a phrase. All of a sudden your brain will just, like, unlock all of these great answers and you can find all of these great thoughts and it's like, oh, this makes so much sense. Whereas Just that one click the other direction and it's like, oh, well, why should I drink my wine? Well, I should because everyone says I should. Like, It's not a question that's designed to get you a helpful answer. So let me tell you just Scientifically, really quickly, before we come back to the mindset part of this, scientifically, here is what I learned when I was getting my personal training certification, Oh my gosh. 12 years ago. 12 years ago. So weird that I've been doing this for so long, but that also explains why I love doing this so much because I've been doing it for so long. Anyway, 12 years ago, here's what I learned about hydration and why it's so important for fitness and Also for weight loss, just so you know, fitness and weight loss are actually kind of different. Like, getting fit is one thing, and you do tend to get Fit while you're losing weight if you had not been working out before. But if you're already very fit and have weight to lose, it's actually kind of different. Anyways, why hydration is important for both fitness and weight loss? Your body, because it is a miracle, just walking, talking, thinking, blinking Miracol can adapt to almost anything. It has a mechanism to adapt to everything except dehydration. The thing that it does when you are dehydrated is it shuts down like higher level decision making And it slows down your digestion. So if you're drinking water or not drinking water and wanting to lose weight, it's stopping you if you're dehydrated. It's stopping you from making good decisions, and it's slowing down your digestion, which makes it Harder to lose weight. And here's the thing. That is a good reason to drink your water. I mean, it is. But here's the thing, in 12 years of knowing this little factoid about how your body can adjust or rather it can adapt to Everything except dehydration. Because, I mean, you can go, you can live for, like, I don't know, a month depending on your fat storage. You can live for, like, a month Without eating, you can only survive 3 days without drinking water before you die. Like, that's how much your body needs water. Anyway, even knowing that, sometimes I struggle to drink water. Sometimes. I mean, for example, the last 48 hours, I was just on a road trip, on Wednesday Thursday, just got home. And realized when I got home, I'd had almost no water at all yesterday because I was in kind of a hurry to come home, so I wanted to drive straight through. And I knew if I drank more water, I would have to stop. This is what we do. We get ourselves into these situations where we're like, okay. But I can't. I can't go to the bathroom, so therefore, I shouldn't Drink more water right now, and I totally get it. Sometimes drinking water feels a little bit inconvenient. So my practical answer for that, Number 1, I drink water basically as soon as I get up in the morning. And I, honestly, I drink water right before I go to bed. I know that's problematic for lots of you, But I it doesn't bother me at all to wake up in the night and go to the bathroom because I tend to go back to sleep pretty quickly. I don't find that to be An interruption of my sleep in a way that is problematic for me personally. So that's when I drink my water. I drink my water first thing in the morning and kinda last thing at night. And therefore, I'm able to get enough. Here's the thing though about you personally wanting to drink water, it's Kinda like that question I just answered with Barbie. Like, when you know all the things you're thinking that are stopping you from drinking water, that'll help you kinda figure it out. So I actually do suggest that you journal and ask yourself a question, why am I not drinking water right now? And just see what your brain is offering you. You're probably, I can almost guarantee that your brain is offering you something like, I don't have time to pee. I don't have the ability, I don't wanna wake up at night. Like, it's offering you these things that, Yes. We all recognize as excuses, but when your brain is offering them to you and you're not paying attention, It actually does literally excuse you from doing the action that you want to do because you are Not doing the thing that you wanna do. Like, you are excused from it because your brain has offered you this reason. And it's and that's all it is. It's just a thought. Once again, just a thought. It's an electrical impulse in your brain, which means that you can find yourself a different thought. The thought that I have I'm trying to decide if I'm gonna share this with you. The thought that I have. I'm gonna give you the clean version of it because I just want you to know that I try really hard to, like, make sure that I'm not offending people by swearing. I don't know how many of you, like, have little around your children, your grandchildren, whatever. So I'm gonna be really careful about this. But the thought that I tell myself, I have 3 times a day where I'm a chugger, not a sipper. So in the morning, right after breakfast, I'll drink a full, like, 25 ounces of water. In the middle of the day, I'll drink another 25 ounces of water. And then right before bed, I drink another 25 ounces of water. So therefore, I get my 75 ounces of water in a day. So when it's the middle of the day because I don't have any problem drinking it in the morning. I don't have any problem drinking it at night. But in the middle of the day one, that's The one that I still don't want to drink sometimes. And so I'll tell myself, Pahla, don't be a jerk. And that doesn't sound motivating to most people, and I totally get that. But for me, what it's reminding me of Is that drinking water is something I do because I love myself. So when I'm acting that way, I'm being a jerk to myself. So that's what I tell myself that gets me to drink water. And this is why, you guys, this is why when you ask me, What can I do to be motivated to work out? What can I do to be motivated to drink my water? It's gonna be so individual to you. Like, it's really going to be a thought that just works for you, that just works for your brain, that just clicks and makes things happen for you. So this is something worthy of actually paying attention to. It took me a while to find this thought for myself of don't be a jerk to yourself because I really do drink my water from self love. And, Melissa, I do hope That's one of the reasons that you find out why you don't necessarily should need to drink water. Gosh. That was a convoluted sentence. But why might you want to drink water? I hope you want to drink water simply because you love yourself. It's kinda nice. Right? It was so good. Right? I know. I know. This is the magic of Q&A. It comes like electricity where we're just asking questions and getting an answer and learning all about weight loss and mindset and the practical side and journaling and all that good stuff. You guys, I really, really hope that this one was helpful for you today. Thank you so much for being here. I'll see you soon.

Listen to the full episode here, and be sure to leave a rating and review on Apple Podcasts.

Originally aired October 29, 2023
Feel like there are things you should be doing for weight loss (like drinking enough water), but you’re just not motivated? This week on the Get Your GOAL podcast, we’re diving into the struggle of consistency and I’m sharing my personal experience with staying hydrated. So grab your water bottle and let’s reframe your mindset to break free from the burdensome “shoulds!”
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Meet Your Host

Mindset expert and certified life coach Pahla B knows a thing or two about changing your mind to change your weight and your life. She’s the creator of The 5-0 Method, Amazon-best selling author of the book “Mind Over Menopause,” and former yo-yo dieter who has cracked the code on lifelong weight maintenance. Join Pahla B each week for the personal insights, transformative mindset shifts, and science-backed body advice that can help you lose all the weight you want and keep it off forever.