Welcome to the Get Your Goal podcast, the place where ambitious, deep thinking women chart their own course- exploring the mindset, emotions, and daily practices that help you get your goal your way by being unapologetically you. I'm your host Pahla B, master certified life and goal coach and creator of the
Daily 3 journaling framework. On this podcast, you'll learn to navigate your unique path to success by using the most powerful tool in your kit, your own internal compass. Ready for the adventure? Let's go. Hello, friend. I have a question for you. When you are starting your day, are you setting yourself up for success or are you setting yourself up for...
Let's leave the rest of that sentence to be open to your imagination. Something else. I, I do not believe that you set yourself up for failure, which is why I didn't say it like that. But I'm wondering if you [00:01:00] enjoy your morning routine. And before we even really get into like the meat of this podcast, I'm actually gonna tell you that it's completely okay if you don't have a
morning routine. For the sake of this episode, I am going to refer to how I start my day for success as a morning routine, because it is morning for me. I mean, it's literally morning for me right now while I'm talking, but my routine also takes place in the morning. I actually get up very early in the morning.
I like to start my day in a very routine way by doing basically the same thing every day and setting myself up for success. There is nothing about the timing of how I do things or the order in which I do them, or even the time of day that I do my routine that is the important part of what I wanted to share with you today.
What I wanted to share with you is simply the concept [00:02:00] of setting yourself up for success at some point in time during your day with a few items, action items that help you get where you want to go. Get your goal. I was listening to a podcast the other day, as I do I, part of my morning routine actually is listening to podcasts.
It is one of my favorite ways to take in information when I am kind of sitting quietly and drinking a cup of coffee and playing some games on my phone. Which by the way, let me just take a little left turn here really quickly. One of the reasons why I even wanted to have this topic on the podcast today is 'cause I really wanted to normalize for you that your morning routine doesn't have to be like super productive or look like what you might traditionally think of as like a CEO brain where you're getting a lot done and you're super hyperfocused [00:03:00] on, you know, winning
or whatever. Like my morning routine includes plenty of downtime and relaxing and very passive learning, playing games on my phone. There is something to be said about doing things in a way that feels really good for you. So that's why I'm sharing all of the parts of my morning routine because it feels good to me.
That's where I was going with the, there's nothing about the timing or the things that I do or the time of day that is strictly speaking important. Here's, here's what I wanna tell you about having a routine that sets you up for success though. Your brain runs on a predictive model. Your brain loves to believe that it knows what is coming next so that it can use less energy.
It wants to do things the same way all the time so that it can become very [00:04:00] efficient at that. When your brain is efficient at thinking something and therefore feeling something and then doing something, it uses less energy. Your brain is always, always trying to conserve energy. Therefore having a routine,
in fact, having all kinds of routines. Having a routine for how you go to work, having a routine for how you get up in the morning. Having a routine, routine for how you go to bed, how you cook dinner if you do such a thing, how you do your job. Having routines feels really good to your brain. And having a routine that doesn't set you up for success will still feel good to your brain, unfortunately, just because it's a routine.
Therefore, I'm bringing you this topic today for you to gently explore the routines that you have in place for yourself, if you have them, and [00:05:00] the idea of creating for yourself a routine that sets you up for success rather than less success. And here's, here's where I will share the story of how I used to start my day.
In fact, it's gonna sound very similar to how I start my day now with one, what ended up being a major exception. I have for gosh. Years. Forever. Not forever. Oh my gosh. I'm thinking back. I have started my day with a cup of coffee and games on my phone ever since I've had a smartphone. So like a good 20 years at this point, well, maybe not quite 20 years, but a good long portion of my life has been started with quiet time in the morning,
doing something that is, for all intents and purposes, wasting time. I'm not doing something especially productive with my time [00:06:00] in the morning while I'm drinking coffee. I like to wake up very slowly and relax and get into my day. And I'm actually thinking about this. Even before I had games on my phone, I used to play video games, like console games.
I was a Tetris master. I also really liked, um, Sonic the Hedgehog. That was so long ago, but I remember vividly like in my twenties, starting my day with video games. This has, this has been a routine for me for a very long time. But more recently, I'm thinking about like, after I started my business and like when I, when I started thinking of myself as like a CEO with a, a business to run, I still used to spend a lot of my morning in this quiet time,
in a way that could be described as wasting time. But really specifically even more than the wasting time [00:07:00] thing. It wasn't about playing the video games or taking, you know, an hour plus to drink a cup of coffee before I actually got moving and got productive. I still do that, but my routine now sets me up for success in a very different way.
What I used to do was create a to-do list that covered honestly everything. I would sit down with a notebook and I would write out all the things that I, well, I phrased it to myself, all the things that I wanted to get done. And what I was doing was very subtly telling myself all the things that I wasn't going to get done.
I used to make a to-do list as long as my arm, sometimes longer. I would write out every single thing I could possibly want [00:08:00] slash need to do for everything in my business over the course of like days or weeks or even months. I would write out all the things in all of the projects and I was oh, so subtly and honestly not so subtly reinforcing to myself
how very unproductive I was as a human being. I would write out all of these things knowing, like fully knowing, and even sometimes saying to myself, oh, I'm not gonna get that done. Oh my gosh, this looks like a lot. Oh my goodness, there's way too much on this list. I'm never going to get this done. By writing out this very long to-do list of things that I both consciously and subconsciously knew I wasn't going to get done,
I was reinforcing my concept of self as a person with A.) [00:09:00] too much to do, B.) not enough time, and C.) a person who wasn't going to do what I asked myself to do. Every single morning, not because I was playing games on my phone or on my Sega console, or taking an hour to drink a cup of coffee, but because I was trying to be productive, I was actually
enforcing or reinforcing my own procrastination. I was reinforcing all of the things that I felt bad about myself. I'm not sure if that sentence made sense. I was reinforcing the things that I felt bad about myself about. There we go. That's what I was trying to say. And it was unsurprising. I mean, it's unsurprising
now looking back. It's unsurprising now how very little I [00:10:00] thought I was getting done. That I would get to the end of the day and I would have, you know, like three or four check marks on this list that was 20 or 30 items long. And at the end of the day I would be like, oh my gosh, I got nothing done. I have too much to do.
I don't have enough time. I'll never finish all of these projects. Every single day, I was setting myself up for, and then reinforcing, believing, that I was not successful. And it was actually, you might be surprised at how recently it was like within this calendar year. It is currently 2025 when I am recording, it's at the very end of 2025 when I'm recording this podcast.
,. It's not the very end. Okay. My overthinkers, you know exactly what just happened in my brain right there. I said something, oh, it's the very end of [00:11:00] 2025, and then my brain was like, that's not really specifically correct. You are ever so slightly incorrect, and somebody is gonna notice that today, the day that you recorded and released this podcast is actually the 17th of December.
There are still nearly two more weeks in this month. It's not the end, end of 2025. I am just gonna assume that your brain is as ridiculously pedantic as mine, and therefore we can both move on from this. It is very nearly the end of 2025, and it was within this calendar year that I created a routine for myself that finally, finally sets me up every single day,
not just sporadically, not just once in a while, not just because wow, today happened to be a good day, but every single day I set myself up for success. I have, [00:12:00] actually, I'm thinking of the day that I started using the Daily 3, because by the way, that's what we're talking about today. The Daily 3 is a way of journaling and a routine that I use in the morning.
You can use it whenever you want to. You can use it however you want to. But it is a routine that sets your brain and your body up for success. No matter what your goal is, no matter what you are trying to achieve, no matter what you want to get done in your day, your week, or your month, or your lifetime, the Daily 3 actually works
with your brain and with your body, and I'm gonna explain exactly what I mean by that 'cause we're not necessarily talking about like body goals here. Even even your, your business goals, your writing goals, whatever kind of goal you have, the Daily 3 journaling routine helps set you up for [00:13:00] success.
And here's, here's how and here's why. What I used to do was use my brain to ask me to do things. That was me, you know, creating my to-do list every day, while oh so subtly and sometimes not so subtly ignoring the signals that my body was sending me, meaning I was ignoring my feelings. My friend, the thing that sets you up for success is not just using your brain, but paying attention to your body, paying attention to your feelings.
The Daily 3 is a feelings practice. Every single day, whatever time you wanna do it. For me personally, it is in the morning. Every single day, while you are using the Daily 3, you are using [00:14:00] your brain and paying attention to your body in order to rewire your brain for, I'm gonna say productivity, and hear that word in a way that serves you.
I know that. I know that I personally... I have a long history, especially because I used to call myself a procrastinator. I used to think of myself and feel deeply like a person who procrastinates, and therefore I used the word productivity as a judgment against myself as a, a method of shaming and judging myself.
So I offer you that word gently and lovingly. If you would like to produce something, to do something, to get something done in a way that feels good, the Daily 3 can help you with that. It is not about, it being the Daily 3. It is not about productivity for [00:15:00] the sake of productivity. I think a lot of us, and this could be a whole podcast in and of itself, but I'm just gonna touch on it briefly here.
I think a lot of us use what we get done in the day as a validation of self or an invalidation of self. That if we can't get everything on our to-do list done, that we therefore as human beings are, you know, bad or shameful or unproductive, as though that is the worst thing we could be. By using the Daily 3
to listen to my brain and pay attention to my body, I have completely changed the way that I ask myself to do something and then do it. And here's what I mean by that. In the morning when I do my daily routine of listening to podcasts and playing on my phone and drinking [00:16:00] my coffee for well over an hour of relaxing, gentle wake up time.
Then I move into the Daily 3. I get out my laptop and I... There's no reason for this to be like the way you do things. I'm just gonna mention, because I've mentioned before that I have a daily writing habit. I use a website app called 750words.com, and I absolutely love it. I'm not affiliated with them in any manner.
I really, I really like how very simple it is to get my brain moving and reinforce a habit that I personally desire. I like to write. I am a writer. I am writing not currently. Speaking of my pedantic brain. I am not currently writing my second book, but it is on my vision board. It is something I'm going to be moving [00:17:00] towards in 2026.
But I like to have a writing habit. Part of my writing habit is the Daily 3. I get out my laptop, I start writing. I start thinking about and feeling into what it is that I want for myself. Having the, the big picture of what I want for myself in general, like where I wanna go over the course of the next several months or even years of my life is how I start my writing routine.
If you are using the Daily 3, it is what I call future self journaling. Thinking about the big picture, the things that I want to create for myself, the experiences that I wanna have, the feelings that I want to have when I create those, those things and those experiences for myself. From that feeling.
Please hear that word on every [00:18:00] level. This is not an intellectual exercise to decide what I'm going to create. It is a feeling. I have imagined myself with the things that I want. I have felt the feelings of having what I want. From that feeling, I ask myself, what is it that I would like to do in service of that goal today?
Then, oh my goodness, I do not write a list. I mean, it does end up being a list, but I do not just write a list. Again, this is not an intellectual thinking to myself, what do I have to do to get there? It is an asking of myself, what do I suppose I'd like to do today? Now there is a, an interplay here between [00:19:00] the intellectual part, the, you know, the my brain part, knowing that there are certain things that would serve me to do.
And also I ask my body, do I have the energy for that? Do I have the space for that? Can I imagine myself actually doing that thing today? Let me get really specific with you here. One of my goals is to run the Boston Marathon. I feel like I've talked about this, uh, several times maybe? You know, I talk about it in my head all the time, and I don't always remember.
I don't always remember the difference between talking to myself in my head and talking to you on the podcast. So just bear with me if I tell you, oh, I've told you this millions of times, and you're like, no, maybe not millions. In any event, one of my goals is to run the Boston Marathon. My, my timing for that is over the course of the next several years, I am working on running to [00:20:00] qualify for the Boston Marathon and then actually get in and experience it.
So my brain understands intellectually that there is an interplay of running and strength work and core work and resting and recovery that goes into running the speed that I need to run in order to qualify for, and then run the Boston Marathon. So I ask my brain, what is it that is on my training plan today?
Is today a rest day? Is today a running day? Is today a strength or core day? Then I reinforce what my brain knows that I quote, unquote, need to do by asking my body, how do I actually feel about that thing? Now sometimes, especially those of you who are runners, you know that if today is a rest and recovery day, that there's going to be a bit of urgency to get out there and [00:21:00] run anyways. Y'all, you know, we love to run.
We love to run every day. If I could run more, I would, and also, this is why I ask my body what kind of energy do I have for running? When I ask my body, my body invariably tells me that a rest and recovery day is in my best interests. I know what my body feels like when today is a rest day. My body needs rest. When I am willing to actually
listen to my body, pay attention to my body's signals, it's very clear how much rest and recovery my body desires slash requires. Listening to my brain, my brain would tell me otherwise. My brain would very much be like, no, I feel pretty good today. I'm not very sore. Everything's fine. I can definitely go for a run.[00:22:00]
Yeah, I can. Absolutely. And also my body has information for me about what is in my truly best interests. This is why I start with the feeling of actually being at the Boston Marathon, actually having created for myself the capacity to run that speed and that successfully. I, I know intellectually what it takes to run at peak performance. Running at peak
performance requires not just more running practice. My body has information about how to get peak performance from her. When, when I come at my day, my tasks, the things that I want to do in service of my goal, by asking [00:23:00] both my brain and my body whether or not they are in agreement, this is how I create
my to-do list. It is not simply an intellectual practice of asking myself what I have to do. It's asking myself, truly asking myself what I want to do. And then requesting, promising, myself that these are the things that I will do. When my brain and body are not in agreement, when, uh, my brain is saying, I promise I'm gonna vacuum the house and clean the shower, and... I'm trying to think of all the tasks I don't wanna do, basically any kind of house cleaning.
When I, when I try to make that promise that I'm going to get these things done because the house is dirty and needs to be cleaned, for example, my body has information about whether or not I'm actually [00:24:00] gonna do that. My body has information for me about how much of a grind that feels like. This is the difference between making a to-do list of things you think you have to do and making yourself a loving promise that you will do the things you want to do.
When I feel like I need to clean the house, let me give you that example because it, it's on my top of my brain today. In fact, it was on my Daily 3 this morning before I sat down to do this podcast. I've been noticing that the bathroom could, uh, use a little cleaning, so I asked myself lovingly and gently this morning, what is it that I want to do?
I had a, I had a list of things that I could slash need to clean and I asked myself what I wanted to do. And what I came up with was that I will, I am promising [00:25:00] myself, that I will clean out the sinks in the bathroom specifically. I've noticed that the sinks are getting really grungy. It's something that bothers me.
It's something that I would like to do because it's very simple. If I get more done than cleaning out the sinks, that's bonus. Fantastic. Yay for me. But the promise I am willing to make myself the thing I can truly see myself doing today, that I will ask myself lovingly and gently, on a timeline that feels open and spacious,
please clean the sinks today. I will do that. Asking myself what I want to do runs the risk, 'cause I know when you are listening to this, you're like, but then I'll never get anything done. If I have to clean the whole house, I should clean the whole house. And here is what I have found over the last 10 months, which isn't quite 10 months.
I [00:26:00] think that's where we came into me being pedantic about the end of 2025 earlier. I started doing the Daily 3 every single day sometime in... I couldn't tell you the exact date, but it was sometime in March. I remember when I like created the Daily 3 and like really put these three types of journaling together, knowing that honestly all three of these types of journaling, I have literally been talking about for years in my own way.
I, it was in late February, early March that I actually put this together as like an actual daily doable thing instead of trying to do, you know, a half an hour of metacognitive journaling or 45 minutes of future self, or basically never doing success journaling. I created this Daily 3 framework where you can make it as easy as possible on [00:27:00] yourself, on myself, to do these three types of journaling that actually rewire your brain for success.
So I've been asking myself for approximately nine months now, somewhere in the the range of nine months now to listen to both my brain and my body about what I want to do. And I will tell you unequivocally that I have been more productive and not for the sake of being productive. Not productive for the sake of like hammering myself or grinding myself or using willpower, but truly
productive of the things I desire to do, than I ever used to be. I used to try to use willpower and force and self-discipline and make myself do things and write these long lists and grind through them, and I would sit on the couch and play on my phone even more than I was doing before. The [00:28:00] grind of trying to make myself do things never
made me as productive as asking myself to do something that I can truly envision myself doing. That I can truly imagine myself doing. When I ask myself to do something from love, when I promise myself gently and lovingly that I will do this, I'm gonna call it a small thing, that thing actually gets done. And further to that, the thing that I really love about the Daily 3 is that it gets done with love.
I do the things I ask myself to do because I trust myself to do them, and I love myself enough to follow through on the things I have asked myself to do. [00:29:00] This was the piece that was missing for years and years and years, when I was trying to grind through my list with willpower. I was subtly and not so subtly reinforcing how much I didn't love myself, how much I didn't trust myself, how much I didn't believe that I could do what I asked myself to do.
The Daily 3 changes that. Let me clarify that. The Daily 3 has no nature. The Daily 3 is a tool, that when you use it in order to love and trust yourself, you will create love and trust with yourself. Using the Daily 3 as a feelings practice, not just the intellectual practice of writing out a list, grinding through your day, and then looking at your list at the end of the day and saying, [00:30:00] man, I didn't get anything done.
When you use the Daily 3 for the purpose of, I am going to ask myself to do things, and I am going to watch myself follow through, that is exactly what you will get from it. That is exactly what I have gotten from it. After 50 plus years, can I do math? No, not right now. After many, many, many decades of calling myself a procrastinator, thinking of myself, feeling like a person who didn't trust myself, didn't believe in myself, didn't really get things done, even though I had big, big goals, big dreams, big ideas.
Over the course of the last nine or so months, I have turned all of that around. I [00:31:00] know without a doubt that what I ask myself to do this morning with my morning routine, I will do. And I've watched myself over the course of the last nine months create more than I have... Well, how do I wanna finish that sentence?
I have watched myself create things that feel better than anything I've ever done in my career before. When I ask myself to create a podcast, not from willpower, not from self-discipline, not because I have to, then I sit down and create a podcast like this, that feels like a conversation, that feels like something I really wanted to hand you with love.
Something that I wanted to connect with you about. Not telling you what to do, but sharing with you my [00:32:00] story of how I turned my productivity around. How I think about success, how I have watched myself create self-love and self-trust in a way that feels better than self-discipline and willpower never felt.
I created the Daily 3 for me. And I say that with no shame and I think it's hilarious because I was, I was trying to create a tool for you, for my audience. Like, here's this thing that you can use. But while I was creating it, I was like, oh man, this, this is what I need. And I have proven it over and over and over again.
This was exactly what I needed. This was the thing that helped me rewire my brain, that helps me rewire my brain every single day. [00:33:00] Every single day, my routine, the thing that sets me up for success, is to imagine where I'm going, and from that feeling, ask myself gently, what do I wanna do today in service of that? I will also tell you there are two other parts of the Daily 3.
It's metacognitive journaling where you ask yourself, or I ask myself, what is it that's, that's stopping me from doing that today? What is it that's stopping me from getting my goal? And I gently observe and untangle and release the thoughts that aren't serving me. One thought at a time. I also take a look at what I asked myself to do yesterday that I knew I would do, and then did, and I observe myself,
I'm gonna say slowly but surely, and don't hear that as [00:34:00] anything other than I am making progress every single day. Before, when I used to not set myself up for success, I never saw the progress. I was getting things done. I mean, on my list of 30 things, I was getting three things done, but my brain was so determined to be focused on the things that I wasn't getting done that I never, ever, ever saw the progress.
Every single day I was judging myself for not getting things done, for being a procrastinator. I'm never gonna get to my goals. I'm never going to be able to have what I want. Today, every single day, I take a look at, oh my gosh. I asked myself to do three things, and I did three things. I'm a person who does what she says she's gonna do, which means that if I say I'm gonna get my goal, I'm going to. That's the person I am.
That's, that's who I am as a human being, as a person who does what I say I'm going to do, which means [00:35:00] that whatever I say I'm going to do is the thing that I'm gonna do. And I'm gently pressing against that with a little bit more challenge at a time. Always having in mind what is it that I want, what is it that I want to do in service of that, and where's, where's that edge of challenge?
Where can I ask myself to do something a little different, a little challenging? That's where cleaning the sinks come in, it's a little challenging. It's a little bit beyond what I probably would have done today, left to my own devices of, eh, maybe I'll just leave it another day. It's a little bit of a challenge.
I'm watching myself meet that challenge every single day. Do you feel how different that is? And maybe it's not. Maybe, maybe you already have a routine that really sets [00:36:00] you up for success, that feels every day like you are creating for yourself exactly the life that you want. If that is the case, I am so happy for you and I would love to hear what it is that you are doing that feels so good for yourself. Because,
I can almost guarantee that it is some version of the Daily 3. Even if you don't call it that, even if you've never heard of the Daily 3, there is some version of you trusting and believing in yourself and asking yourself to do things that feel good that you have already figured out, and I love that for you.
And, on the other hand, if that's not quite what your routine feels like, if your routine feels a little bit like you are unintentionally reinforcing some crappy things that you already feel about yourself, I [00:37:00] lovingly invite you to give the Daily 3 a try. There's a free masterclass that explains like all of the ins and outs of like exactly how it works and why it works and, and what it does and how to do it, uh, from a, from a like foundational place.
Not like, oh, this is how you do it because it has to be done this way, but like, this is how these three things work together. This is a starting point. Practice like this until you make it your own. Making it your own is the, the mechanism that makes it successful. Believe me when I tell you this. There's nothing about the mechanics of it, the strategy of it, that is right or wrong.
It is simply the idea that these three types of journaling rewire your brain. When you use them your way, you will rewire your brain. So the masterclass explains like the framework, the foundation, the, here's how to get started. It's a 23 minute long [00:38:00] masterclass. It's completely free, and there is a link in the show notes, the description box, the wherever you're watching or listening, or you can just go to getyourgoal.com and it's literally the top button on the very first page.
The masterclass can get you started so that you, my lovely friend, can set your day up every day for success. Because that is what I ultimately want for you, is your version of your success. It's what I'm here to help you do in all of the ways. By standing beside you, metaphorically, being your friend, being your tour guide, being along this journey with you.
I want us all to succeed. Thank you so much for listening today. I'll talk to you again soon. No matter where you are on your goal getting journey, i'm here to help. Get started by watching the free Daily 3 [00:39:00] masterclass to learn the simple journaling framework that rewires your brain for success. Move forward with confidence at your pace with one of my goal specific guided journaling experiences.
And when you're ready for immersive exploration with fellow travelers just like you, you belong in the Get Your Goal membership. Find it all and join the adventure at getyourgoal.com.
