How To Know If You Have Mindset Blocks

Welcome to the Get Your Goal podcast, the place where ambitious, deep thinking women chart their own course, exploring the mindset, emotions, and daily practices that help you get your goal your way by being unapologetically you. I'm your host Pahla B, master certified life and goal coach and creator of the Daily 3 journaling framework. On this podcast, you'll learn to navigate your unique path to success by using the most powerful tool in your kit, your own internal compass. Ready for the adventure? Let's go. Hello, friend. I have two important things to tell you right here at the start of the podcast. First of all, let's just address the, the topic at hand today, how to know if you have mindset blocks. I will tell you that the easiest way to know whether or not you have mindset blocks is to ask yourself, "Do I have my goal yet?" If the answer is no, you do not have your goal yet, then the answer is yes, you do have mindset blocks. And I offer that to you with so much love [00:01:00] and tenderness and gentleness, and also that tough love of just ripping the bandaid off right away. Because I want you to know that knowing you have mindset blocks is actually the thing that will set you free. If you're questioning it, like maybe I do, maybe I don't. Then there's this whole gray area where you could still just blame your circumstances or other people or yourself in some way that does not serve you. The other really important thing that I wanna tell you that has nothing to do with the topic of the podcast at all is that my husband and my son are working... They're doing car... Stuff. I, I would, I would explain it to you except for the fact that I don't have a clue what they're actually doing, but they're doing car stuff and my podcast room is, it's not, it's not sharing a wall with the garage, but it essentially shares a wall with the garage. So there is an excellent chance that there will be background noise in the form of I car stuff. I [00:02:00] literally have no idea what you might hear. I mean, at the very least, you might hear music or conversation or. I don't know. Power tools, garage noises. I don't know. I don't know. I just didn't want you to be concerned if you are listening with headphones on. I didn't want you to be concerned that there was some kind of like, uh, mechanical things going on near you. It's me. It's not you. It's me. But also, but also, hey, you know what? Here, that's a great segueway back into the topic of how to know if you have mindset blocks. I do too. I love knowing that I have mindset blocks because frankly it makes getting my goal feel so much more organized. When I know that I'm looking for mindset blocks, I know what to do. Here's, here's how it might appear to you, especially if you are still kind of questioning. I mean, I appreciate it if you just take what I said at face value and you're like, oh, okay, cool. I have mindset blocks. But let me also tell you that [00:03:00] there are, there are some ways to know that you have mindset blocks. I mean, not the least of which is that if you don't have your goal right now, that is an indicator. But also you've probably experienced some kind of like constant low grade frustration. Like you're, you feel like maybe you're making some progress and you've got some ideas about what you wanna be doing, and like it doesn't seem like it should be that hard, but also, but also it is. That constant low grade frustration is actually an indicator of mindset blocks. In fact, you will very likely hear yourself saying something like, it's hard for me to, and then you fill in the blank with whatever your very specific goal is. Like, it's hard for me to lose weight, and you will hear that phrase or that sentence with some regularity. It's hard for me to lose weight. It's hard for me to get serious about my business. It's hard for me to run, you know, faster or [00:04:00] farther, whichever one you're aiming for right now. Like, and if you have pinpointed it, like if you are feeling that low grade frustration and you're not just in that, that vague, it's hard for me phase, you might be telling yourself that there's like a circumstance or a character trait that is stopping you from getting what you want. This is the thing, you know you have a block, you know there's an obstacle, but you might not have identified it as a mindset block yet because you think it is something, you know, out there in the three dimensional world. Like it's hard for me to lose weight because nobody else in my family wants to eat healthy foods. Or it's hard for me to find time to write my book because I work a full-time job. Or it's hard for me to run any farther because honestly, I'm just kind of lazy. I have to, I don't have to, but I'm going to, I have been hearing the word lazy so much recently. I don't know. You know how that works. [00:05:00] It's the, oh my gosh. If I wouldn't have started the sentence. There's a thing where when you start to notice something and then you notice yourself noticing it, you'll notice it even more. I, for whatever reason, have been really honing in on that word lazy lately, and I don't think it's something that I call myself. Like I honest to goodness do not hear that as the kind of judgment that I would normally. I mean, trust me, I have found plenty of judgment for myself in my own brain, but lazy isn't usually one of them. But it's so interesting how many places I have heard it recently just tossed out as though, well, frankly, as though that's a thing. And I promise you laziness is not a character trait. It's not a thing. And yes, I'm gonna talk about this more a little bit later in the podcast, but really right here, if you have ever called yourself lazy, I really, really want you to know it's, it's not a thing, it's a mindset block. The other one here. Here's my actual story that I'm gonna tell you today. It's hard for me to get my business up and running [00:06:00] because I don't know anything about business. And I'm gonna put a little, a little podcast within a podcast here for those of my business-minded friends who have a business goal, who are thinking about either starting or getting more successful with your business, that is one of the many things that I coach on inside the Get Your Goal membership. It's one of the many topics that we talk about here on the podcast. I have a lot to say to my fellow business women, and this is one of them. When I first got started in my business, it was right after I got my personal training certification, and all I wanted to do was train people. Like that's what I got the certification for. I wanted to talk about exercise. I wanted to work out with people. I was so gung-ho. I was like, yes, let's exercise. Let's work out. And then I realized that if I was gonna be in business for myself, that I had to know something about business. And I was in business for myself for, I'm gonna say, how long have I been in [00:07:00] business for myself? We literally just talked about this. I started my business on January 1st, 2012, and it is 2026, and that means that it has been 14 years, unless I'm doing the math wrong. 14 years of... I'm gonna say it took me the first very nearly 10 years with this mindset block of I don't know anything about business. And let me tell you, I had a lot of success, like a ton of success that would absolutely prove otherwise. And that's one of the other hallmarks about mindset blocks is that sometimes you actually have proof of the opposite of this thing that you're telling yourself about, it's hard for me to get my goal because, but your brain really wants to stay stuck. It wants to stay blocked. So here's, here's what most of us do when we think that something is hard for us, when we think that something is hard because of like an external circumstance or a character trait, what we do is we go [00:08:00] looking for tips and tricks. I mean, this is absolutely me. I, I still find myself sometimes looking for like business advice just in case, just in case after 14 years, there's somebody out there who knows something even better than me about my own business. And there are still, there are still some areas where I can gain some skills. But that's coming from practice, not from learning something new. Here's the thing, you are probably looking for tips and tricks or hacks or programs or methods or strategies. You really actually think that there is a way to do things that will magically circumvent your like perceived circumstances or this perceived character trait that you think you have. And I want you to know that this actually can work out. Some of us, and I do include myself in this. In fact, this is what I was telling you about how I had quite a bit of success in business. It [00:09:00] can work out if you happen to find like a tip or a trick or a hack or a strategy, that lines up really beautifully with your specific mindset blocks and your mindset super highways. Really quickly, a mindset block is something that is stopping you and a mindset super highway is something that is speeding you up. It is a, a thought you have that feels amazing and moves you faster towards your goal. So if you find a tip or a trick or a strategy that actually lines up with both your mindset blocks and your mindset superhighways, you could absolutely get your goal. What is far more likely to happen though, and this is what has happened to me numerous times in my goal getting journey, is that you will, you will find a tip or a trick or a hack or a strategy that is pretty close. Like it lines up mostly with some of your mindset super highways, which is why you even get started on that [00:10:00] strategy. You're like, oh, I could definitely do that. That actually feels pretty good. But then when you bump up against your individual mindset blocks, you'll just start using willpower. So some of your strategy will be fantastic with your mindset super highways like, yes, this feels exactly like me being unapologetically myself. This feels so normal, so natural. This feels so good. And also there are parts of this, you know, long-term goal that I'm trying to get that I'm just absolutely white knuckling through. And here's why. I mean because human beings are very complex. We have 60,000 thoughts a day. Some of them are mindset blocks, some of them are mindset super highways, like the actual likelihood of any, I'm gonna say famous strategy, meaning like somebody's strategy, the, the likelihood of their mindset blocks and their mindset super highways line up perfectly with yours over the course of the...[00:11:00] I mean, here's the thing. I, when I was offering strategy for weight loss, I used to say there are just five things to do. And there were technically speaking just five things to do. But also within those five things, there were numerous, many hundreds of smaller decisions. And over the course of like many days and weeks and months and years that you are pursuing this goal, there are so many decisions, so many opportunities for either a mindset block or a mindset superhighway. So the likelihood of anybody's strategy lining up perfectly with yours, I'm gonna say it's, I'm gonna say it's slim to none with a heavy emphasis on none. This is why you will very, very likely find yourself with a strategy that sounds fantastic on its surface, and then the more you use it and the more you use it, it just starts to feel [00:12:00] that grind, that grind of, and you'll recognize this, this is hard for me because this strategy, for one reason or another, doesn't quite suit me. So if you do happen to get all the way to your goal with a strategy that like mostly works and then you use willpower and white knuckles and self-discipline to muscle your way through the rest of it, what that's gonna do is give you a goal that is temporary. And that's fine. And I actually say that with zero judgment. I say that with mostly zero judgment. I say it with zero sarcasm. How about that? It is fine if you want to lose weight for a particular event, and then you're okay with gaining it back. It's fine if you want to publish one book and then basically never think about it again or write another one. It's actually fine if you want to run one race and then hang up your running shoes, or if you want to be a serial entrepreneur [00:13:00] with half a dozen side hustles. I say that with zero sarcasm and I know you can hear that I have, gosh, it's not judgment, it's just not me. It's not who I am. The thing is, there's nothing inherently wrong about doing something once and saying, okay, I have done that. I am, at my core, the kind of person who really values mastery and expertise and understanding and excellence. I am not, I am not casual. Like, like by any stretch of anybody's imagination. I am very intense and I, of course thought about the funniest example that I could give you. Way back in the day, back when I was dating, when I was younger, I, I vividly remember going on lots of like first dates and [00:14:00] occasionally a second date. And I had friends who dated casually who would date men for like months at a time. And they were like, well, I don't know. We're just seeing where this goes. Or, I'm having a good time. I, I doubt that it'll really turn into anything, but this is lots of fun. And I remember just being so dumbfounded by that. I found it so odd. I am a person who knows whether or not something is right for me. I knew on a first date, I knew on my first date with my husband. I was like, oh, oh, here it is. Here's the one I've been waiting for. I knew I was gonna marry him. I knew he was the one. I have never had one single second of doubt about that since then. I had no interest whatsoever in dating somebody casually with this idea that maybe it would go somewhere and we would just see. And I really do offer you that as [00:15:00] information for you about the kind of coach that I am. Like, I am not a, let's just see what happens kind of coach. I'm all in. If you tell me you have a goal, I am sticking with you until you actually get that goal. And I will continue to remind you of the goal you told me you wanted until such time as you tell me, here's what happened to that goal, and this is what I'm going to do instead. I totally understand that lots of us, I mean. Not the least of which is for the topic that we're talking about today about having mindset blocks. Lots of us really struggle to stick with a goal because we think it's hard because we have these mindset blocks and also I, I want you to understand what kind of strategies and what kind of advice and what kind of coaching I am giving. I am never telling you, oh yeah, let's do this so that you can get it fast so that you can have it now and so that you can get on with the rest of your life. There [00:16:00] is no rest of your life. I mean, well, there is, but I mean, there is no rest of your life outside of being the kind of person who wants what you want. If you feel that kind of intensity and you desire that kind of mastery, the kinds of things that we talk about here on the podcast are absolutely 100% for you. I do not, I do not help people get goals temporarily. I help ambitious women who are deep thinkers and over thinkers who want to get out of their brain and into action. I help you actually have your goal, not just get it because you could, and then slide back into all of the old habits of the way you used to be. But understanding something so deep about yourself and healing something so deep about yourself that you become not a different person. You're never gonna be a, you're not [00:17:00] gonna be a different person. You are going to be you with the refinement and the mastery and the excellence that you have been seeking. And the way you will find that mastery and excellence is by understanding yourself. And what that means is dissolving your mindset blocks. Here's what's really going on. Like, let me give you a definition. A mindset block is a thought. I mean, literally it is a sentence in your head that creates a strong, uncomfortable emotion. Because by the way, in case you have not heard me talk about this before, that is how the world works. You have a thought and that thought creates your emotions. Uh, one thought creates one emotion. You have a thought that creates an emotion. That emotion drives your actions, and then your [00:18:00] actions get you a result. That is a direct reflection of your original thought. The part that gets tricky here, and the part that lots of us kind of struggle with when we first come to this like concept of mindset blocks and how to resolve them is because lots of your thoughts aren't conscious. And further to that, lots of your feelings have been shoved down for so many years through so much socialization that you honestly don't even notice that you're having them. Which is why, which is why this conversation about having a mindset block, you might still have some skepticism. You might be like, okay, I hear you, but also I'm not really thinking anything that feels like a strong emotion. And side note, but this is, um, important. When you start untangling your mindset blocks, the stronger the emotion is and or the less you actually consciously feel it because you've been shoving it down so much, [00:19:00] the more truthful your thought will sound. And for those of us who are highly skilled at shoving down our emotions, you might not even have noticed that you have any kind of a feeling surrounding the thoughts you're having. Your thoughts will simply sound like a fact. Coming back to my story about how I had been in business for years, I had systems and processes in place for organizing my files, I had an accountant to help me with my taxes, I was making good money, I had tons of success at business, and I was still telling myself I don't know anything about business. It sounded so incredibly true. I had evidence, I had charts, I had graphs. I could tell people I never went to school for business. In fact, I encouraged both of my kids go to school for business. It's the thing that you'll need to know in life. Like I really, [00:20:00] honestly could not see my way past this sentence that I don't know anything about business, because I had such a strong, subconscious emotion attached to this thought that I didn't even know that I was feeling. I heard the thought. I heard the thought that thought, that thought came outta my mouth constantly. Constantly. Anytime anybody wanted to talk to me about business, I was like, I don't know anything about business, even though I very clearly did. And, and what finally, finally happened is what I'm gonna offer you here today about how to dissolve, how to resolve your mindset blocks, metacognitive journaling with the Daily 3. The Daily 3 is my proven journaling framework, meaning that you get to make it work for you. You do not do it a right way or a wrong way. I tell you [00:21:00] why and how it works during the free masterclass. And there's an easy way to sign up for the free masterclass. It's in the show notes or the description box, wherever you're watching or listening, or you can just go to my website, getyourgoal.com. It's the top button on the first page. The Daily 3 masterclass will explain the, the wherewithal about how it works behind the scenes. But what I want you to understand is that metacognitive journaling, one of the three types of journaling that rewires your brain for success, dissolves your mindset blocks. It is a big part of getting your goal, and it is... It's not the part that most people don't talk about. A lot of mindset coaches will talk about like mindset blocks, but they'll give you tips and tricks and hacks for how to work around them. And I want you to know that dissolving them, truly dissolving [00:22:00] them is the difference between getting a goal temporarily and having your goal permanently. So the essence of metacognitive journaling is that you will find your mindset block by asking yourself a question, or, I mean in my case, by simply paying attention to what I was telling myself very nearly every day. Except that I, I will tell you. It is easier and more targeted to ask yourself a question because if you heard the story that I was telling myself, this idea that I didn't know anything about business, I was saying that constantly and until I heard it, like through journaling, I didn't hear it. I had no idea. This is very likely what is going on with you and your mindset blocks. You are saying things repeatedly that you don't even notice. Part of that is because you have shoved the feeling down so much that it just feels like a fact. It just feels like you're telling me the news. It just kind of [00:23:00] feels like a character trait or something about you that you've never really thought was all that interesting, and therefore we can move along and do something else. When you do targeted metacognitive journaling, asking yourself a really specific question and then listening to the first sentence that comes up out of your pen. And really listening, not just dismissing it the way that we dismiss so much of what we say about ourselves, but actually just pausing and focusing and listening to that sentence. And then feeling the feeling that sentence creates. Because here, here's the most important thing I can tell you in this entire podcast, my friend, recognizing your mindset block is good. It's helpful, but it doesn't dissolve it. Lots of us, myself included, lots of us find a mindset block. Like I recognized by the time I came around to this, this was [00:24:00] actually still... When did I finally hear that? That was many years ago, and it was right around the time that I was starting to do metacognitive journaling and really recognize metacognitive journaling for what it is. Meaning that you find your thought and feel the feeling that it creates. But I had, I had kind of circled the drain on this, this thought about, I don't know anything about business for a while. And I tried very hard to simply replace that thought. This is what most of us will do. You my overthinking, friend. I love you and I know you because I am you. You love to be in your brain and you can, you can talk yourself AKA, think yourself around every single mindset block you find. You can find a mindset block and be like, yep, there it is. Mm-hmm. I get it. I see it. I know it's a mindset block, and here is what I'm gonna demand that I think instead. Here is another way that I'm gonna think. I'm gonna [00:25:00] replace that thought with another one, and that is how I'm gonna get where I wanna go. And I want you to know that that is willpower. That that is you trying to talk yourself into, that is you trying to white knuckle your way, that is you trying to self-discipline your way and think your way out of a problem that can only be solved by feeling the feeling. And here's why. Your feelings have a job. Their job is to get you to do things. They behave like glue, keeping a thought in your head because you've heard it so many times and felt and or shoved down the feeling so many times that you have become efficient at it. Your brain and your body love efficiency. Biology is always looking for a shortcut, and I say that with love, but biology is always, always looking to use less energy. Thinking the same thought and feeling the same [00:26:00] feeling, or shoving the same feeling down again and again and again. Oh my gosh. Your brain and your body will do that all day, every day and twice on Sundays, if you don't interrupt that pattern. Your brain will continue to think the mindset block thought, even if you consciously demand of yourself that you replace that thought every single time. Until you feel the feeling that thought creates your original mindset block will stay in place and it will drive your actions. You will think that you are behaving like in a way that you intend to, but the feeling that you have been shoving down so long is the fuel of those actions in a way that those actions will not get you what you are looking for. Let me come back to my narrative about I don't know anything about business. That thought, I don't know anything about business, was [00:27:00] not actually the direct fuel for all of the success that I was having in business. I had some other mindset superhighways, thank goodness. Lots of them were available to me in one manner or another, that got me a lot of places that I wanted to go. But the other things that I was doing behind the scenes was that I was constantly researching for some better way to do what I was doing. I was constantly telling myself that what I was doing wasn't right, wasn't good enough, wasn't getting me where I wanted to go. I did not see or acknowledge, and this really is why Success journaling is part of the Daily 3 too. If you, if you have already watched the masterclass, you'll, you'll learn about the success journaling part of the Daily 3 also. But it was very hard for me to see any progress that I was making because of the mindset block I had about, I don't know anything about business. When I decided to simply sit down[00:28:00] and focus and ask myself to gently and lovingly, and I'm gonna say once and for all, but there's more to this story than just a once and then we all lived happily ever after. But once and for all feel the feeling of it. Actually ask myself to allow the feeling of I don't know anything about business to come up and exist. And I will tell you that it was a very uncomfortable feeling. I was trying to decide what word I wanted to use to describe it. It was not the biggest feeling I've ever had. It was not the hardest feeling I've ever had. It was deeply uncomfortable though. The feeling that sentence created for me, I don't know anything about business. Especially as somebody who was literally in business, wanted to be good at business, had business goals, still have business goals. I don't know anything about business felt like shamefully [00:29:00] stupid. Like the kind of stupid that was just in my bones and part of who I am as a human being, as opposed to what it actually is, skills I can acquire. That feeling of shamefully stupid was hot and snotty. I wanted very much to just put my face on my hands and curl up into a ball and hide. That feeling lasted a couple of minutes as feelings do. When you allow a feeling to simply exist in your body, without fighting it, without letting your brain, you know, continue down the track of thinking more, more, more, more, more thoughts. When you simply notice the physiological sensations in your body, over time, they change, they move, they dissipate. When you feel a feeling [00:30:00] without behaving from it 'cause remember, that's your feelings' job. They're supposed to make you behave. They're supposed to get you into action. So when they don't, when they don't do their job, your brain will unstick that thought and unstick that feeling. Now, I will tell you yes, feeling your feelings is like using a super strong solvent that actually like dissolves the bond between that thought and your brain and that feeling in your body. And also, for some mindset blocks, one pass won't quite remove it completely from your life. There are some mindset blocks that you're gonna have to take a couple of passes at. And I really wanna normalize this for you, especially when I, this is actually something I coach on a lot inside the Get Your Goal membership. [00:31:00] People will come to me and they'll be like, okay, but I've found that thought before. I have felt that feeling before. Why is this coming up again? And I'll tell you, it's coming up again because it is. Like, I don't, I don't have a better response than that. What that means is that this kind of a thought. For me specifically, this thought was so deep, so, so socialized that I could be, that I could be stupid, that I could, you know, not know something. It came up for me numerous other times. Here's the thing that I think hopefully will sound like good news. It never felt as lousy again as it did that first time. The first time you feel a feeling, it will be as deeply uncomfortable as it's ever going to be. And if that particular thought or something like it or if a feeling like that, like I've, I've felt numerous different versions of shame. Shame does not feel, it does not feel shameful anymore. It does not feel as deeply uncomfortable. It does not feel as hot, it doesn't feel as [00:32:00] snotty. It doesn't feel as much like I wanna roll into a ball and never come out in the world again. That is, that is the long term benefit of metacognitive journaling, is that first of all, you will resolve your mindset blocks and you will also get a lot more comfortable feeling your feelings. So you will get better and better at resolving more mindset blocks with every mindset block you dissolve. This is a skill my friend. You find your thought and you feel the feeling to release it from your life and you get better, not just at the thing you wanna get better at. I mean, I have mindsets super highways now about how much I know about business. In fact, I'm I coach on business. I have a lot to say about business. I love talking about business, both inside the Get Your Goal membership, here on the podcast, out in the world. Talk to me about business, my friends, I know a lot about it. Because I've been [00:33:00] able to dissolve most of the mindset blocks. I know you are like, wait a second, you still have goals. Yes, I do. That means there are still mindset blocks to find. I have found a lot of the big ones and I am still myself on a daily search with the Daily 3 for the rest of them. There are other thoughts in my way. There are other feelings to feel, and I am here for it. My friend, if you, first of all, accept that you do have mindset blocks. If you, if you are on board with this idea that if you don't have your goal, that you do have mindset blocks, if you've noticed yourself feeling that low grade frustration and find yourself saying things like, it's hard for me because. I deeply encourage you, first of all to go watch the Daily 3 masterclass, just so that you can get a, a better understanding of like what this work actually looks like. There are two other kinds of journaling that will help you with your goal getting journal. [00:34:00] Nope. Goal Getting Journey. That's a hard one to say, my friends, I'm a journaling coach who helps you on your journaling journey, and you are on a goal getting journaling journey, and there are three types of journaling that help you rewire your brain for success. Metacognitive, the kind we were talking about today is the one that dissolves your mindset blocks. And I really do wanna wrap this up by telling you that this is a long game. That, I mean, this is what I'm talking about with being the kind of person who doesn't wanna encourage you and coach you and push you to do the thing as fast as possible and go get your goal now. I encourage you to understand yourself, understand your mindset blocks so you can dissolve them, find your mindset super highway, so you can go at your speed to your goal by being unapologetically you. [00:35:00] And what that looks like is that this won't feel... It won't feel like a big deal. It's so funny to me, the magic of dissolving your mindset blocks. Like in the moment you kind of have that epiphany, especially when you find a thought that was subconscious, like you really hadn't noticed it or heard it before. That feels like such an epiphany. Like, oh my gosh, I've been telling myself that. And then you feel that deeply uncomfortable feeling and you kind of like come out of it a little bit woozy sometimes. I call it like a, a mindset hangover or an emotional hangover of like, okay, that was really something. And then, and then you kind of just get on with your life and it doesn't feel like a dramatic, huge, all of a sudden, and then they lived happily ever after kind of moment. It kind of just feels a little bit easier to do the things you've been wanting to do. It feels a little bit easier to call yourself, in my case, a business [00:36:00] woman. It feels a little bit easier to recognize that you are indeed doing the things to get you to your goal. It feels very subtle and just quick plug, this is why the Daily 3 has three types of goal, getting journaling, the success journaling so that you can actually see your progress, notice yourself dissolving your mindset blocks is also very important. All three are very important. It's why I included all of them in the Daily 3. I would love for you, my friend, to get your goal. It's why we're both here, so you can get your goal. And one of the things that you will do along your way is dissolve your mindset blocks. You have them, and now you know exactly, exactly what to do with them. So let's go get your goal. Thank you so much for [00:37:00] listening today. I'll talk to you again soon. No matter where you are on your goal getting journey, i'm here to help. Get started by watching the free Daily 3 masterclass to learn the simple journaling framework that rewires your brain for success. Move forward with confidence at your pace with one of my goal specific guided journaling experiences. And when you're ready for immersive exploration with fellow travelers just like you, you belong in the Get Your Goal Membership. Find it all and join the adventure at getyourgoal.com.