Not Making Progress on Your Goal? Troubleshoot These 6 Things

Welcome to the Get Your Goal podcast, the place where ambitious, deep thinking women chart their own course, exploring the mindset, emotions, and daily practices that help you get your goal your way by being unapologetically you. I'm your host Paula B, master certified life and goal coach and creator of the Daily 3 journaling framework. On this podcast, you'll learn to navigate your unique path to success by using the most powerful tool in your kit, your own internal compass. Ready for the adventure? Let's go. Hello, friend. One of the things that I hear most often as a life coach in both my membership and also just in my world in general, like not even necessarily clients that I'm working with, but just people talking on social media or people that I know in real life talking about how, you know, you're doing everything that you know how to do towards your goal, but you're just not seeing the results that you are looking for, and you just feel like you [00:01:00] are not making progress. Well, I too have been there. Gosh, if I had a dollar for every time I've said I'm doing everything right, but I'm not getting what I want. I wouldn't need to have a business. But, but I do, and, and that is what we are really talking about today. I want to address this not just from a superficial, like, oh, here's the thing you need to do, because honestly, that is not the advice that I'm gonna give you at all. But rather I wanna show you that there are actually quite a few places, six of them specifically, where you can troubleshoot your goal getting journey so that you can get the results and see the progress that you want to see. And before we go there, I really wanna acknowledge that it's been a minute. I rather unintentionally took the entire month of February off. If you are listening to this podcast, not when it first comes out, but at some point later in time when you are binge listening, then time has no meaning to you and you can feel free to ignore this part. But in real time, I [00:02:00] haven't podcasted in, I think it's been like five weeks. It's it's been much longer than. Well, actually, I had no intention of taking a break at all. I was ready to go with another episode. In fact, I wrote the notes for this episode. I don't have the date on here. I wrote the notes for this episode so long ago that I had to like really get into my brain to like figure out what I was even talking about in these notes. But every single day during the month of February, I made choices, and let me be very clear, that's why I'm even bringing this up. I made choices because of my priorities. I had some life things going on that I prioritized over quite a few things going on in my business, and I also had some business things that I prioritized over just putting out content for the sake of content. One of the things that I am really thinking about at this stage of my business, is not working on chasing the algorithm and not working on putting out a [00:03:00] volume of content just because people say that you quote unquote should. But really thinking about the quality of what I am offering you. I'm here to help. And I, I say that at the, in the outro of this podcast, but also I just feel that deep in my bones. I am here to help. Not to shove content in your face. So it's very easy for me actually to prioritize when I make content, what kind of frame of mind I want to be in, and how much I want to help. And during the month of February, I had... I had other priorities. Really specifically the priority that I wanna tell you about. The reason I'm even bringing this up, first of all, just if you have been waiting for a new podcast, I wanted to tell you why. I wanted to acknowledge I don't just disappear for no reason whatsoever. I disappeared because I had priorities and because I've been working on some kind of backend administrative stuff in my business. Um, not the least of which is that I have started a brand new [00:04:00] YouTube channel. I had been putting this podcast and some journaling related content on what is now my old archived YouTube channel, and I realized that from a business perspective, it simply wasn't going to take me where I wanted to go. This is here, here, let's have a, a quick podcast within a podcast where I talk to you about business and how algorithms really do work. Yes, there is a content for content's sake, like portion of the puzzle that I simply don't subscribe to. But the other portion of the puzzle is that your content needs to be understandable by robots. Meaning that in order for a search engine to know who you are and what you are talking about and what your content is about, you need to have a, a cohesive, a niche, if you will, or a niche if you'd like to pronounce it that way. I prefer niche personally. There's, I, I'm sure there is a right way. In any event, you [00:05:00] get to pronounce it however you want to. But in order for people to find your content, you need to be clear about who you are and what you do. And the truth of it is, I had such a volume, I mean, literally hundreds of videos on my, again, now old, uh, workout video youTube channel, that no matter how many podcasts I have about getting your goal, no matter how many times I talk about getting any goal you might have, no matter how many times I talk about journaling or coaching or mindset work, the amount of content that I would need to create in order to turn the tide and help the search engine figure out who I am and what I'm doing was going to take me years. And apropos of what I was just saying about how I am, I'm not here for the, the volume of content. I am not here for the post every day, do something, you know, five times a week or whatever. That's, that's not who I am as a human being. So I chose [00:06:00] to, I'm, I'm calling it archived. The, the truth of it is that YouTube channel still exists. The videos are all still on there. If you have known me from, you know, back in the day when I used to make real time workout videos, those videos still exist. I have not removed them. What I have done with that channel is simply encapsulated it. I think about it like a time capsule. It was a beautiful decade of my life between 2012 and 2022, where that was what I was doing. That was my job. That was my, my passion in life. And since then, I have... not changed passions. I still love to exercise. I just don't love to make exercise videos anymore. But I realize that what I want to do as a business is be a life and goal coach to talk to you about journaling, to talk to you about your mindset, to talk to you about this thing that we do where we have these huge goals, and yet we find ourselves not doing the thing we meant to do. Not following through, procrastinating, wasting [00:07:00] time, having big ideas and big plans, and a long to-do list, and then watching ourselves play on our phone or self-sabotage over time. Like all of these things that we do that, that seem, and this is where we're gonna come back to our topic today, like, okay, all I've gotta do is just find the right strategy. Just find the right thing to do, and this will all work out. But my friend, as somebody who has really done my fair share of mindset work, figuring out my own inner workings, figuring out what it was that I was doing that wasn't working for me, that felt like I was twisting myself into a pretzel, that felt so unaligned with who I am as a human being, in order to try to get my goal, like I have such a deep understanding of the behind the scenes work that has very little to do with the, the actions. And I have such a passion for talking about it here on the podcast and working with women [00:08:00] who really want to deeply understand and heal something about yourself in order to get the goal that you have been working on and wanting for such a long time that has felt so elusive and so difficult, and now you are really ready. You're ready to dive in. You're ready to go deep. You're ready to take it to the next level. You're ready to stop just chasing strategy after strategy and wishing that things would feel easier, and actually, just take a beautiful, loving, honest look at yourself and be yourself. Stop judging yourself. Stop telling yourself that you're doing it all wrong, and really just lean in to being you. And getting your goal. So let's get back to the topic. Here's the thing. You, me and everybody we both know have this idea that it's all about the doing. That in [00:09:00] order to get your goal, you gotta do stuff. And I am not here to argue with you about that. What I am here to tell you though is that it's only part of the goal getting process. Most coaches really wanna focus on this because it's so external. Like it makes so much sense to be like, oh, if you are doing X, Y, or Z because it can be seen, because it's something that you can account for, something you can write down, something you can check those boxes on, that that must be the bulk of goal getting. So most coaches will tell you, okay, you know, if you're doing the quote unquote right thing, do more of that, you must not be doing enough of it. Or if it seems like maybe you're doing enough, then it must be time to do something different. And I will tell you that for the longest time. Actually, no, not really for a long time. I figured out pretty quickly that it wasn't just about what you were doing. Way back in the day, when I first became a personal trainer back in 2012, I mean, almost literally my first client on almost [00:10:00] literally our first time working out together, we were working out and we were talking about like the struggles of how she, you know, had this goal to be fit and to be a healthy weight. I don't even remember how we got there, 'cause it was a long time ago. I don't even remember how we got there. But within minutes, all of a sudden we were talking about like her relationship with her husband and how she was unhappy at her job. And I remember thinking, oh yeah, 'cause it's not really about the exercise, it's not really about what you're eating, it's about your life and like how you see yourself. Because at that point, even by the time I had become a personal trainer. I had not been like formally doing any kind of mindset work, but I had really, really struggled with my own goals enough to understand that it wasn't about what I was doing. So here's the thing about what you are probably doing right now, is this focusing on the doing. You're probably doubling down on what you are [00:11:00] already doing. If you are telling yourself, you know, I'm doing everything, so maybe I'll just do more, or, and this was something that I used to really fall into. I would do one thing for, you know, a couple of weeks and I would feel like I was going gangbusters at it and then wouldn't really be seeing the results that I was looking for, so back on the internet I go, and strategy hopping. And I, I feel you on this one. The truth of it is you may or may not be doing the exact right thing or the exact wrong thing, but what I really want to impart with you here today, or for you or at you, I don't actually know, which. I don't know which thing would be correct in that sentence. What I really want to impart to you, how about that one? What I want to impart to you in this podcast today is that, yes, you can look at what you're doing, but also there are other places to really troubleshoot your goal getting journey. And I wanna talk about all of them [00:12:00] today so that you have a bigger picture of what's going on with you. The truth of it is if you are only trying to fix one piece of a six piece puzzle, you might not get the results that you are looking for, ever. And I really want you, I really want you to get your goal. Like, I mean, it's why I've built an entire business with that title, with that name, with that brand. I want you to get your goal, my friend. So here are the six places, and I just realized in my notes I don't have them numbered. So if there's like long, weird pauses, it's just because I'm trying to count the bullet points that I have. Number one is really easy, and these are in sort of chronological order with the understanding that at any point in time on your goal getting journey, you can go back and revise and understand more and do more like understanding and and refining of any of these steps. You do [00:13:00] want to start with having an understanding though of what you want, getting clear on what you want is both number one and an ongoing thing. Here's the truth of it. You have at least an inkling of what you want, and that is enough to get you started. At some point in time on your journey, you're going to need to get clearer and more defined with what you want. Most people that I have ever worked with, especially, you know, back in the day when I was a personal trainer, like literally an in-home personal trainer, I went to people's homes and worked out with them. Well, I wasn't really working out with them. I was helping them work out. I was supervising, I was, you know, showing them the exercises and then letting them do them. But I almost invariably started, you know, the, the intake form with, you know, what is it that you want, what are you looking for, what's your goal? And everybody, every time was always vague. Well, I just wanna get in shape, I just wanna lose [00:14:00] weight. I just wanna, I wanna get healthy. And that is enough to move you forward. Especially, I mean, with my clients, it was enough to get them to call a personal trainer. So yes, you do have an idea, but at some point in time you need to get even clearer than that. The truth of it is if you don't know what you want, you can't have it. You can't create it. If what you want is so vague that you have never put any sort of parameters on what you mean when you are talking about getting healthy or what you mean when you say you want to have a book out in the world, or what you mean when you say you wanna have a business or you want to run a race, or you want to navigate grief. These are the areas that I have some expertise in, which is why I've mentioned those as examples. At some point in time, you need to put, I always say you need to put numbers on it, and hear me when I say that. There are some goals that are a little softer, that are a [00:15:00] little less definable, that, uh, that are more related to like a vibe or a feel. Let me give you an example of when I'm talking about myself, about what it means to be healthy, because I do have a goal of being healthy for as long as I can. What I am talking about has some numbers to it. In fact, it has quite a few. And just so we're clear, if you have a goal of being healthy, you do not ever have to take on my parameters. And that really is what's like part of the important takeaway here, is that when you are unclear about what you want. When we say something like, oh, you know, I wanna have a book, because, you know, everybody knows what that means, but not everybody knows what that means. There are many, many, many ways to have a book in the world today. You can have a book on the internet. You can have a book that is, uh, self-published. You can have a book that is traditionally published. You can have a book that you have written that never gets published. Like there are so many ways to do anything. That is why it is important to understand what you are saying to [00:16:00] yourself and what you truly want from it. Coming back to my example about being healthy. You don't have to take on my parameters, but some of the things that I think about in terms of health, I have an opinion about my VO2 Max. As it happens, I'm an endurance runner, so I care about these sorts of things. You might not even know what VO2 Max is. It's a, it's a, um, it's a measurement of your, your oxygen volume. It's basically how, how much oxygen you can take in and use. And it's not just like for holding your breath, it really is for endurance work. I'm an endurance runner, so I have an opinion about VO2 Max. I have an opinion about my blood pressure. I have an opinion about my weight. I have an opinion about the amount and type of foods that I will and won't eat. I have an opinion about my sleep quality. I have an opinion about my hydration. I have an opinion about my core strength and my balance and some of these things. In fact, I don't even think that list was exhaustive, but some [00:17:00] of these things have actual numbers. I have a healthy weight range that I want to stay within. I have a VO2 Max number that I really love to see. I have, oh, there's a metabolic age actually, that I really love to see too. I have a blood pressure, specific number of blood pressure that I, or actually it's a range, but that I like to be within. But when it comes to something like core strength and balance, those are a little bit more fuzzy. And to be fair, my core strength and balance are a little bit fuzzy. But I have, I have an idea of what that feels like when I feel balanced. And some of that is physical and frankly some of that is mental and emotional. When I have the the brain focus and the ability to like calm down and think and feel grounded, then lo and behold I tend to have better actual physical balance on those days. So what I'm saying here about [00:18:00] getting super clear about what you want is not only to have numbers on it, but also to understand what it is that you want to feel like both physically and mentally and emotionally, what you want to feel like with your goal. And here's the thing about getting super clear on your goal. You might start off with that very vague, oh, I just wanna lose weight, or I just wanna be healthy, or I just wanna have a book, or I just wanna have a business. You know, one of those, one of those I just want to statements that ends in something very vague. And over time you can get clearer and more refined with what that means. You don't have to start with a very specific number unless one comes to you very clearly. The truth of it is that I actually really recommend tapping into and getting in touch with, and therefore revising and refining over time, your vision of what you want, what your goal is. This [00:19:00] is one of the types of journaling that I suggest in the Daily 3. The Daily 3 is a, well, I offer a free masterclass that really explains like the ins and outs of what the Daily 3 is and how it works and why it works. Because there are three types of journaling that can really help you move towards your goal by rewiring your brain for success instead of, and I hate to say failure, but honestly, honestly, it's not really that bad of a word. That's a, that's a conversation for another day. Failure is not nearly as as traumatic and dramatic as so many of us make it out to be, and I'm not gonna distract myself with that part of the conversation. Anyways, Daily 3 journaling includes something that I call future self journaling, which is this moment of centering yourself on the thing that you want. Focusing in on what it will not just look like, but also feel like. Feeling the emotions of, [00:20:00] feeling the, the feeling of having your goal for that moment in your imagination helps it become more real. And yes, there are questions that you can ask yourself. There are, you know, ways that you can come at the actual numbers that you want to put on it if there are numbers to be had, but there are also ways to simply use your imagination to make it more and more real over time. Future self journaling, I recommend it daily. It's why I call it the Daily 3. I recommend tapping into that in an ongoing way, versus asking yourself one time, okay, this is what I'm gonna, this is what I'm going for, this is what I'm gonna do, and that's it. And I never think about it again, other than looking at the number with, you know, like your, your brain, your intellect. But tapping into the feelings of your goal and getting clearer and clearer, and clearer over time is one of the ways that you rewire your brain for success. [00:21:00] When something feels very real, very imaginable to you, you will move towards it. The second thing is that you need to get lovingly and nonjudgmentally clear on where you currently are. This one is very difficult for lots of us. Most of us start our goal from some place of, I'm gonna call it deficit, meaning that you are not there. But also some place of, I think a lot of us start from a place of like shame or that feeling of, gosh, if I don't have this thing that I want, that I must be failing at life. Yes, it's coming up again. I, one of these days I'm really actually gonna make an entire podcast about failure. I have, I have a lot to say about that, but here's what I'm gonna say about it right here. This, this task, this skill, of being able to see [00:22:00] yourself nonjudgmentally, will serve you everywhere. Not the least of which is in getting your goals, but honestly, it will serve you everywhere in life. Anytime you can gently peel off the judgment of what you think it means about you to be where you are, doing the things that you are doing, getting the results that you are currently getting, and be, I'm gonna say objective. There's no such thing, but I'm gonna still use that word, lovingly and objectively clear about where you are, where your numbers are, as compared to where you want to be is I, I like to think about it like setting the GPS. If you don't know where you are and you don't know where you're going, it's really, really hard to get anywhere. But understanding where you are, where your baseline is, where your current adaptations are, what your current results are, what you are [00:23:00] currently doing, what those current actions are getting you in terms of your current results. Being lovingly clear about that and recording the data is going to be essential for you to make progress. Even more than that, 'cause the word that I meant to say in that sentence was, in order to be able to see progress. If you don't know where you are and you don't know where you're going and you don't have any kind of numbers or any kind of data or any kind of anything, then your brain will 100% default to thinking that you're not getting anywhere. Well, this isn't working. Because your brain would love to just stay the same. Your brain is perfectly happy where you are in so many ways. Like I know you're not actually happy where you are, it's why you have goals. But like your brain is a okay with thinking the same thoughts, feeling the same feelings, doing the same things day after day after day, and never making progress. Your brain is actually looking [00:24:00] for a lack of progress in your life. So this is something that I suggest you look at lovingly and nonjudgmentally. Like one time, like from your starting point, like take a before picture, think about where you are right now. Like how many words do you have written? How do you have a business license or where are you like depending on what your goal is, where are you right now? The where are you right now is something of a snapshot, and then approximately once a month and you get to decide how often this works for you, I suggest checking in once a month with your progress so that, so that your brain doesn't run away from you with the whole, I'm not making progress, I'm not seeing results, I don't know if I'm ever gonna get where I wanna go. Doing a weekly or monthly or quarterly or yearly, depending on what your goal is. Doing some kind of a check-in that [00:25:00] helps you create and see benchmarks is going to be important so that you know where you are on your journey. Now, number three. Actually, let me go back, number two. Number two is not really part of the Daily 3. The Daily 3 literally is daily journaling work. There are other parts of the goal getting journey that are either one time only or sporadic that are not necessarily covered by the Daily 3, but I still consider to be important in your goal getting journey. And it's one of the things that I talk about with some frequency inside the Get Your Goal membership. The Daily 3, the Daily 3, like the idea of the Daily 3, and also the masterclass itself, is meant to give you a really good foundation of the kind of work that you will do on your way to your goal. The Daily 3 is [00:26:00] part of the puzzle. Inside the membership, we do talk a little bit more in depth about the actual journey, the long-term things that you will do over time. Things that are more like, you know, monthly check-ins and self-concept identity work. So understanding the difference between like things you will do every day and things you will do over time. Also really important and a beautiful segue into number three, which is where we're going next. I. I personally have a strong opinion about this particular item that I'm gonna, I'm giving you a preface before I even tell you what the item is. No, you know what? I'm gonna tell you what the item is and then I'm gonna defend it. Here we go. Understand the mechanics of how to create exactly what you want. And I think that, here's my defense. I think that a lot of people don't talk about this, because it sounds like work. Because understanding the mechanics, becoming an expert, really truly [00:27:00] diving in and knowing what you are doing, why you are doing it, how it all works together. Actually truly understanding business, not just your business, not just entrepreneurialship, but like understanding how business works. All of the different business models, all of the different types of marketing, the different types of selling, all of the different things you could do and how they work together. Understanding the mechanics of like good storytelling. No matter if you're writing a fiction book or a nonfiction book, you need to understand storytelling. Let me, let me get lost in the weeds on that one really briefly. This was something that I did not understand when I wrote my first book. I didn't really think about how storytelling. Like the the three act hero's journey of knowing where a person is, where you want them to go, and how they're going to get there. Writing a [00:28:00] nonfiction book is essentially letting your reader be the hero of the story, understanding where they are, and guiding them gently through what you want them to know and how they will use that information from your book. Understanding the mechanics of what you want is crucial. Not the least of which is understanding that belief in yourself, in what you are capable of doing, and the fact that it is you personally creating your goal is essential. It is fundamental to getting your goal and everything else is secondary. I know everybody wants to tell me that it's really all about the calories, isn't it? And I lovingly, lovingly offer you that if your goal is weight loss, your most amount of work that you will do on your way to weighing a healthy weight is understanding your [00:29:00] opinions about what you are capable of and what you have agency over. 99.9% of the people that I have worked with on honestly any kind of a physical goal, have struggled with believing that they are capable and the one who is actually in charge of weighing what they wanna weigh or doing what they wanna do, depending on what the physical goal is. You are the one. You are the one creating your goal and you are capable of creating your goal. Everything else is secondary to that. The mechanics of what you want will actually help you, on every level, not waste time of chasing after strategies. When you understand the mechanics of what you are creating, you will understand honestly that 99% of people on the internet are [00:30:00] just trying to tell you their strategies. Strategies are absolutely variable. Strategies are opinions. Mechanics are, I'm gonna say more like facts. Uh. I'm gonna let that sentence stand. We're not gonna get into the, the nuances of that one right now. If you'd like to think about it this way, it can be a helpful model to understand that the mechanics are like the facts of a thing, and the strategies are the opinions. Most people, most coaches, are sharing their opinions when they tell you what to do, and the truth of it is any strategy for any goal can work. And the trick is finding the strategy that works with and for you. There are, there are mechanics that you will need to follow through on, and there are strategies for getting those mechanics that will be very, [00:31:00] very personal to you. Understanding, understanding the nature of the world, of what it is that you want and understanding yourself come together here in the understanding of the mechanics. The truth of it is that this does take effort. All of it does. I, I know you. Here. I'm not gonna defend myself anymore, and I'm actually gonna help you and I both really peel off the layer of judgment of being the kind of person who reinvents the wheel, of being the kind of person who is very intense. You and I both love to know things. We love to go all in. We are completionists. If I'm gonna do something and not everything in my life. I'm not like this with I'm, I'm not like this with everything. But the things that I'm really interested in, I am really interested in. Like if I'm gonna be a fan of something, I'm gonna go to [00:32:00] their YouTube channel, I'm gonna go to their social media, I'm gonna go to their website. I'm gonna dive deep. I'm thinking of a really specific example. Don't mind me while I share this embarrassing story about a band that I really like. My I, I listen to a lot of the music that my kids listen to. It's one of the things that I really like to share with them. I also, I think that it keeps my brain young to explore and enjoy new music. That is one of the things that I think is like the hallmark of of getting older in a way that I don't like, is only listening to music that I used to listen to a million years ago when I was young and getting stuck in that like nostalgia loop. And don't get me wrong, I will still absolutely go listen to some new wave from the eighties once in a while. But I love listening to newer music. So I listen to a lot of the music that my kids listen to, partly because it gives us something to talk about and partly because they listen to really cool stuff that I would not have found on my own. So, gosh, I think it was [00:33:00] probably about two years ago, one of my sons, I think it must have been my older one. Don't tell them. Sometimes I don't remember which one said something. But anyways, one of my kids introduced me to a band called Magdalena Bay. And I love them. I love them so much that I have all of their music on my, I, I don't have an iPod, but all of their music on my phone. I listen to their music a lot. I have done a deep dive on, like their lyrics. I've gone to their Wikipedia page. There's, there's a lot they're mysterious about which drives me crazy. But also I do like that because it keeps me curious. I not only have like a lot of knowledge about who they are and where they've been, but I found out that they were in, well, I didn't find this out. My son did tell me this one, but they were in a band together in high school, like all those years ago, and they had another band that they were in. I have gone to that YouTube channel. I have downloaded that [00:34:00] band's music. Like if I'm in, I'm all in. And, and I share this embarrassing story with you because I know that's who you are too. When you go all in, you go all in and it scares some people and that has scared you. Traditionally, there are people who want to tell you that you are too much, that you are too intense, that you can just calm down and be a casual fan, and yes you can, but also it's really okay to be you. It's really okay to be an expert at things. It's really okay to go to Google Scholar and read the actual, like scientific research that has something to do with this goal that you want for yourself about, you know, doing pull-ups or running a marathon and you wanna understand VO2 Max. Like, it's not too much to want to know. And I will put the gentle caveat on that, that there is a moment where the [00:35:00] knowing needs to turn into the doing. And that is not actually the next step, but it would've been a great segue if it was. Step number four is untangling the stories that you are telling yourself about why you can't have or can't create what you want. We all have stories. There's a reason why you don't have your goal, and it's because you're telling yourself a story. In fact, you're probably telling yourself lots of stories. I actually recommend the the deep untangling of your stories every single day. This is a part of the Daily 3. There are three types of journaling. I've already mentioned that. I don't think I told you though, that you can go watch the masterclass for free where I explain everything you need to know about the Daily 3. There's a link in the show notes or the description box below. Which also just reminded me, I told you this whole thing about how I started a YouTube channel, and I didn't tell you that if you are listening on a podcast app, I will have the link to my new YouTube channel in the show notes. If you are, if you are watching or listening [00:36:00] on YouTube, you already know where it is because you found it there. That's where the podcast lives now, is on my new YouTube channel. Anyways. Step number four, untangling the stories that you are telling yourself about why you can't have or can't create what you want. You have lots of these stories. Some of them are very shallow. Some of them are very deep. There are tons of them, and it is the stories you are telling yourself that are making it so hard to do the things you want to do. You're telling yourself, and I say this with love, me too, love, like this isn't judgment. Trust me. Trust me. I've put all judgment aside about the struggles that we all have about getting goals. I see this very clearly. You have thoughts. Those thoughts create feelings. Those feelings drive actions. Sometimes those feelings, because they are uncomfortable, drive inaction, meaning that you are avoiding, you are not doing what you want to be doing. You're telling yourself, I'm gonna sit down today and I'm gonna write 750 words, and then all of a sudden you find yourself doing literally anything [00:37:00] else in the world but that. Yeah, it's because you're telling yourself a story. Zero judgment. Let's find the story and let's untangle it. And it's actually really easy to untangle it. You just feel the uncomfortable feeling. And for those of you who know me, there's, it's not really a joke. It's become my catchphrase and it is something that you're gonna hear me say at some point in time, because it's probably the title of my next book, there's a thing that I say inside the membership that you should just feel your effing feelings. That that's really, it's the mechanics, it's the mechanism. It's the thing that moves you forward. It's the thing that untangles you. When you're not afraid to feel your uncomfortable feelings. When you are willing to feel any effing feeling, you'll be willing to do anything, including but not limited to the things that will get you your goal. Feeling your feelings is the answer. If you take nothing away from today or if you take one thing away from today, rather let it be this feeling your feelings. [00:38:00] It's the key. Anyways, untangling the stories is something that I suggest you do daily. I call it metacognitive journaling, where you find the thought and then feel the feeling to release that thought. That thought is creating results in your life, and you have evidence, if you don't have your goal, that it is not creating the results that you want. Release yourself from the stories. Then, then and only then my love. And this is step number five. And yes, again, this is chronological. I guarantee if you are anything, like anybody I've ever met, ever, you kind of picked a goal and you immediately chose a strategy. But choosing a strategy is actually number five on my list because choosing a strategy tends to be something that we do, like taking a shot in the dark. Like, I'm gonna Google this thing that I want and I'm gonna go watch the YouTube video that has [00:39:00] 5 million views on it, because obviously they know what they're talking about. But if you don't understand what you actually want. If you don't have the clarity of where you are currently and understand the mechanics of what you want and haven't even begun to understand what stories you are telling yourself that are holding you back, then choosing a strategy, and I say this with love, is gonna be a huge waste of your time. You're gonna get started doing something that is almost certainly, unless you are incredibly lucky or more self-aware than you are giving yourself credit for, you are almost certain to choose a strategy that just doesn't suit you. That might actually be literally wrong for the kind of business that you wanna have, or literally wrong for the physical goal of like, let's say running a marathon. Like there are, there are pieces that come before choosing a [00:40:00] strategy, and you can, and I do recommend that you get started doing stuff because sometimes you don't even hear the stories that you have about yourself until you're in motion. There is nothing wrong with choosing a strategy earlier in your goal getting process. What I will tell you though is that choosing a strategy might be more of an ongoing thing, that having a strategy that gets you started might not be the same strategy that takes you all the way to where you wanna go. However, here in step five, you're gonna choose a strategy, you're gonna get started, and you're gonna collect data. So it is more or less a one-time thing on the strategy, except when you realize that the strategy had nothing to do with what you were doing. And I will tell you, I chose and followed so many business strategies when I [00:41:00] first got started, before I understood any of the mechanics of business and the kind of business that I have. You are simultaneously wasting time and not wasting time to follow strategies. You are not wasting time because you are learning something about yourself and you are spending the time really refining what exactly you want and how you're going to get it when you unintentionally follow the wrong strategy. There's here, this has come up again, there's no such thing as failure. There's no such thing as making a mistake. There is, however, continuing to use a strategy that is not working for you, and that's why I offer that you can change strategies. Choosing a strategy, getting started and collecting data will help you see where you are, see how you're moving forward, understanding whether or not what you are doing is moving you closer to what you want. [00:42:00] Collecting data can be very difficult for a lot of people. Collecting data means making records, generally speaking, on the daily. It means keeping track if you, uh, have a weight loss goal of your intake, meaning your calories, if you choose to count it that way, and or of your weight. I've met a lot of people, like a lot of people, who really struggle with this. Collecting data gives you the opportunity to hear the stories that you are telling yourself. It gives you the opportunity to really understand the mechanics of what is important and what is not important. It gives you a window into hearing and understanding yourself and what you want. There is... There's no wrong way to choose a strategy to get started doing stuff and to collect data. What I think happens here with a lot of people is [00:43:00] they think of this. I call it one step, even though it's three things, they think of this step as like a pass fail. Like literally, you either get it right or you get it wrong, and I want you to know that that is absolutely not true. The reason you do this step, the reason you choose a strategy, the reason you do things, the reason you collect data is only so you can understand yourself. It's not about getting it right or wrong. There is no right or wrong. There's no right or wrong. There is no universal, this is how you do the thing, every time for every person. There's just what works for you. And doing, going out of the, out of the thinking and into the implementing is crucial. You and I. Sweetie, you and I could think all day. We do think all day and all night, and getting out of your head and into action doesn't take you to [00:44:00] your goal because of the action, it takes you to your goal because it helps you understand your self. When you are in action and when you are in inaction because all of a sudden you've chosen this strategy and blech, you don't wanna do any of these things and it all feels hard. That's information. It's understanding, it's how you can see your self. There's always another strategy. There's always another action. There is always more data to collect. Don't let this feel like it is a win or lose situation. It's a figuring it out situation. The final step, and this is, this is really the crux of it, and this is the thing, if I wanted to make a podcast about just this thing, I could have and in fact almost did, because the thing to do here when you want to see results is to ask your brain for evidence of your progress. And let me [00:45:00] tell you, because I have a brain and we all do, your brain doesn't do this naturally. You literally have to ask it. You have to ask it, and you have to focus. Your brain left to its own devices has negativity by, let me try that word again, has negativity bias, and it also has confirmation bias. So if you are still rattling around with all those stories in your head about how you're not really capable and you're not really in charge, then all your brain is gonna look for is evidence about how you're not getting what you want. Because it's not really up to you. You're not really in charge and you probably can't, and also look at these numbers, these charts and graphs, they all prove that you aren't getting your goal. I promise you my love, you are. But you're gonna have to ask yourself to see it. This is the third piece of journaling that I offer in the Daily 3. I call it success journaling. I know lots of you have lots of opinions about that word success. I have tried so many ways of talking about this over the years. I'm gonna get lost in the weeds for just a quick second for a very quick story. [00:46:00] I have been talking about this concept of acknowledging your wins and seeing your success, celebrating your success, saluting your success, talking about your accountability for what you did today. Like I have tried so many different phrases, and I swear no matter what I call it, none of us actually want to do it. This is how strong your brain is, your automatic brain, your efficient brain, your your biological brain. It wants to see you staying the same. It desperately wants to see you staying the same, which means that you have to go out of your way. This is honestly some of the hardest work. Here it is in step six. It is some of the hardest work you will do is to ask your brain to see your progress. And not just ask your brain to see your progress. Oh, no, no. There's another part of this. Ask your body to feel your progress. Because [00:47:00] love, this is one of the things that I have found so fascinating on my own journey and being the beautiful witness to so many hundreds of women at this point. No, probably thousands of women at this point. Being the witness that I have been in my personal training career and now in my life coach career, watching women struggle, but also get what they want, make progress, it has taught me that it is not just an intellectual checking of the boxes, but it is the allowing of yourself to feel successful that is the hardest part. We have all been socialized from day one to not be proud of ourselves or not be too proud of ourselves, to not brag, to not be arrogant, to not be too full of ourselves, to not get too big for our britches, both literally and metaphorically. To not take up the spotlight, to not shine, to be a little bit [00:48:00] less than, to let the boys win. We've been taught to be, I'm gonna say, afraid of success. And what I mean by that is honestly afraid of the feeling of. We avoid the feelings of success. Which is why it's so hard to create it. Taking a moment each day. Yes, every day. I really do recommend this. It's daily. I call it the Daily 3 for a reason. Every single day. Not just saluting your success or checking the boxes or you know, finishing that to-do list, but feeling the feeling of yourself as a person who followed through. Feeling the feeling of yourself as the person who is capable of doing the things that you want to do, as the person who is in charge of creating the results that you want to create, and not just in charge of it, but actually creating them. [00:49:00] That that is only one of the six places that you can troubleshoot. But man, it is the toughest one for me, and so I assume, because I assume that you are a lot like me. It's gonna be tough for you too. And it's why I'm here. Love. I'm here to help. I offer the Daily 3 to show you, like to really show you that you are going to rewire your brain for success in order to have success, in order to get your goal. If you have gotten goals in the past, you have done this somewhat efficiently on your own, but there is a way to make it happen and it's the Daily 3. I am also here for it on every level to talk with you about your goals. I would love if you are in a place specifically on YouTube where you can leave a comment, I would love to know what you're working on. And if you are ready to like really, really go deep, come inside the membership. It's always open. I don't believe in urgency. I don't believe in shutting the [00:50:00] doors. I don't believe in anything other than helping you in ways that feel amazing to you. I would love, love to have you inside the Get Your Goal membership, where this kind of stuff is what we talk about. It's what we do, it's what we dive deep in, and there are other women just like you and me, who are overthinking things and still want what they want and they're working towards it. My love. Let me do a little summary here 'cause we are, gosh, we're almost an hour in. Let me do a little summary. So on YouTube it'll show the chapters for this. Here are the six places to troubleshoot if you feel like you are not making progress on your goals. Number one, get super clear on what you want. Number two, get lovingly and nonjudgmentally clear on where you currently are. Number three, understand the mechanics of how to create exactly what you want with the understanding that belief is fundamental and everything else that you do is secondary. Number [00:51:00] four, untangle the stories you are telling yourself about why you can't have or can't create what you want. Number five, choose a strategy, get started and collect data. And then number six, ask your brain for evidence of your progress. My love. Thank you so much for coming along on this wild ride. I really, really appreciate you being here. I'll talk to you again soon. No matter where you are on your goal getting journey, I'm here to help. Get started by watching the free Daily 3 masterclass to learn the simple journaling framework that rewires your brain for success. Move forward with confidence at your pace with one of my goal specific guided journaling experiences. And when you're ready for immersive exploration with fellow travelers just like you, you belong in the Get Your Goal membership. Find it all, and join the adventure at [00:52:00] getyourgoal.com.