Hello, friend. Thank you so much for clicking on this podcast episode. It has a weird title, right? I wanna tell you the story of choosing to title this podcast, "this is why you start running before you finish losing weight." I was just out for a run. This is my post run ramble, as we do around here. I went out for a run this morning and I kind of had a podcast topic in mind, this one in fact, and I spent a fair bit of the run, not the whole time, but I spent a fair bit of the run, like thinking about how I wanted to talk about this and what I wanted to say to you.
And the thing is that I think about this topic. As your coach, when I see you doing something like starting running before you finish losing weight, which by the way, I did too. Let me tell you. Let me actually start there. Almost all of the examples, I want you to see yourself in this so that [00:01:00] this podcast can be helpful to you.
But I really want you to know that I'm talking about me. I have done this exact thing so many times and it's something that I'm just really starting to see and understand and untangle, and it's why I wanna talk to you about it because I see it so often in you, my lovely friend who does this thing and
there's a way out of it. Here's here's the why. Let's talk about the title first and then, and then we'll get to the actual podcast topic. So I was out for my run and I was thinking about this and I was thinking about how I wanted to talk to you about it and how I think about it in my head, about myself and when I watch people do this is I think it's goal hopping like job hopping, which by the way is something else I've done. I have had so many jobs in my life, like so, so many jobs.
But I think [00:02:00] about it as goal hopping, and I wanted to be able to title this episode in a way that, I mean, this is just good marketing. Here, let's talk business for a second. You want to be able to show your ideal client themselves. In your words, in your marketing, in your social media, in the things that you put out in the world, so that they can self-identify and understand, oh, this is for me, this thing that you have is something that I want for myself.
And so I was thinking about how, you know, this is a thing that happens. I think about it as goal hopping. And I was like, okay, I'm gonna, I'm gonna do some Google keywords on this one. I'm gonna do some, some actual research and see like how, how is my ideal client talking about this? And one of the things, we're gonna get into the weeds on this, because that's what I do around [00:03:00] here.
Here's the podcast within a podcast. One of the things that I really struggled with over the past, like year and a half, two years. I've really been working on my messaging and one of the reasons actually why I stopped doing the podcast last year was because I had gotten myself to this place where a lot of my messaging felt really yucky to me.
I, I was doing that thing and once I point it out to you, you're gonna see it, you're gonna see it in the way that I was podcasting in the way that I was marketing. And you're gonna see it in other, other places also. Like this is the, this is a real trend in marketing right now. It's talking about what you are doing wrong.
These are the mistakes you're making, these are the excuses you're making. These are the five ways you are doing it wrong and the one way to do it right. And I understand. I understand the point of it. It is to help your audience self-identify. Oh my gosh, [00:04:00] I am doing that. Oh my goodness, I do wonder if I'm doing it wrong and if there's a better way.
Like I, I get the point of it. But it felt yucky to me to be, in my opinion, constantly telling my audience that they were getting it wrong because I don't like that. I don't like that in myself. I know when I am like watching and reading and taking in marketing like that, I know that urgent, frantic, icky feeling of, oh my gosh, I need to solve this problem.
And it doesn't put me in a place where I am thinking about myself in a way that serves me. It puts me when I, I'm gonna say fall for marketing like that. And here's the thing. I have, I have fallen for it. I have purchased lots of. Oh my gosh. I've purchased lots of different products that helped [00:05:00] me understand myself better, like ultimately helped me understand myself better because one of the ways that I understand myself better is by going too far.
You've certainly heard me say that before. The only way I know what moderate exercise is, is to go too far and go too hard, feel the inflammation and understand, oh, my body has a certain amount of exercise that feels amazing and this was more than that. So ultimately marketing that way and taking in messages like that and giving out messages like that ultimately served me and, and I hope ultimately serves you.
I was thinking about how I wanted to do the research and craft this title in a way that can help you see yourself without feeling icky, like point out. Hey, maybe you've noticed this. Maybe you've experienced this thing. Maybe you've watched [00:06:00] yourself do this thing where you start something new before you get the thing that you were going for, and maybe you've wondered why.
Well, here's why. I have a reason for you. But anyways, let me finish telling you the story about how I was gonna title this or how I came to the conclusion for the title of this episode. I heard myself say to myself, because I was talking to myself while I was running. I heard myself say, while I was pretend podcasting, I really wanted to title the episode,
"this is why you start running before you lose weight," but here's all the reasons why I didn't. And I almost stopped running because I was like, Pahla, this is what you talk about all the time. This is, this is the thing that your audience is experiencing and you can share this story. You know an answer inside of yourself.
I knew what I wanted to call this podcast episode. I knew that it was going to be very niche. I knew that some people were gonna be scratching their [00:07:00] heads like, what is she talking about? Or, that doesn't apply to me. And I knew that the right woman, you, who clicked on it, whether you thought this applied to you or not, needed to hear this message.
And I heard myself say the phrase I really wanted to, but. One of the things that I am really working on right now is honoring my yes answer, honoring my decision from a place of I really want to, and really hearing myself when I say, but. Really hearing myself when I second guess myself. Really leaning in
and understanding that, that first answer, the thing I really wanted to do, even though it feels a little bit vulnerable, even though it feels a little bit niche, even though I run the, the quote unquote risk, the emotional risk of turning people away when they think that I, my message, [00:08:00] doesn't apply to them. Honoring my yes
is something that I have overridden, something I have been socialized to do the safe way or do the thing that answers other people's opinions of me versus listening to my opinion of myself. And I chose, I'm choosing. This podcast episode is titled the thing that I really wanted to title it. And yes, this is me verbally success journaling, which also feels very vulnerable.
Oh my gosh. We haven't even gotten to the actual podcast topic, my friend. This is something I want for you. I want you, I want you to self-identify with this particular podcast as a woman who is ready to understand yourself. [00:09:00] As a woman who is ready to stop telling yourself you're doing it wrong, and start leaning into what's going on behind the scenes that I can see and understand about myself.
Not to fix myself, but to lean into who I am. When you are you really, truly you, in the ways that you desire to be. That is the path to your goal. And that is why you start running before you finish losing weight. That is why you write a book before you have gotten your business goal. That is why you start a business before you have gotten your fitness goal.
That is why... I love you girl. Gird your loins because yes, I'm saying it out loud and [00:10:00] I understand that this might hit you a little bit hard, but this is what we're talking about. This is why you start working on pull-ups before you finish tidying your study. This is why we all of us get so, so, so, so close to our goal, and then kind of slide into another one before we get there.
The reason is some version of that cliche that I know you have heard before. No matter where you go, there you are. My friend, no matter what your goal, you will find the same mindset blocks. And when you come butting up against them, like grinding up against changing your old self concept. We've talked about identity work and how this is really how you rewire your brain.
This is [00:11:00] really the point of getting your goal. This is really, really, really what's going on when you start doing something new, instead of finishing something old. You have mindset blocks about who you are. You self-identify as a person who, and when you get to that point in your goal getting journey, where you come grinding up against that, it feels
terrible. It feels awful. It feels like a nonstop argument in your head. It feels like starting and stopping this specific episode of the podcast three times because it feels incredibly vulnerable to title it the thing that you really want to title it because you are trying to honor yourself instead of believing other people's opinions about what should be the right way[00:12:00]
to do things. Maybe that's not your specific thing, it's mine. You will come to a point, no matter your goal, where it's so painful to keep moving forward because you are grinding up against who you think you are. And I want you to know, on so many levels, that there's nothing wrong with hopping goals.
There's nothing wrong with it. I've done it a million times. So have you, you and me both. Girlfriend, I see you on a deep soul level. Let's just understand it instead of judging ourselves for it. There was a time. There was definitely a time in my career where my absolute advice was, you have to get your goal before I will allow you to move on to something else.
I actually just had somebody say this to me the other day. Somebody wrote me an email and I was like, yeah, that is absolutely the [00:13:00] advice I used to give, and it's part of why I am out of the advice giving game in the way that I used to say, here's how you should do things. And now I'm like, man, let's just, let's just let it fly and see what happens.
Because my advice that I used to give was one goal at a time. One goal, get all the way there, lose the last pound 'cause I was a weight loss goal. In case you don't know that in case you are listening to this years in the future, and you only know me as a person who talks about all goals. There was a time when all I talked about was weight loss
and I have since expanded my business to be talking about all kinds of goals for basically this exact reason. All goals are truly the same goal. The thing you want is to be you, to be you, to be you, you, you, you. And [00:14:00] you have so much socialization that tells you how to not be you, that you are going to come grinding up against it on every goal you get until you pick it apart.
This is why we, you and I both, hop from goal to goal. This is why it feels so hard to finish something. And I want you to know that the work here is peeling off the judgment, is hearing yourself in what I'm saying and being like, yes, that's me, and I understand that this is simply not like who I am or something bad about me that I have to fix or a mistake that I'm making, but it's something that I can understand about myself.
I lost [00:15:00] weight by following a very strict plan a long time ago when I was in my late thirties. I. I had gained a lot, lost weight numerous times, like numerous times in my lifetime. I got disgusted and I like so many of us thought that that was motivating. I have some since come to understand that disgust is not motivating at all.
Disgust can get you moving a little bit, but there is something else, some version of I can do this. I'm capable. I want this for myself that actually keeps you moving. Disgust can get you off the ground level, but it doesn't help you actually climb the staircase to success. In any event, I was disgusted, so I went out and I bought a six pack of Slim Fast, and I was like, ah, I'm gonna do Slim Fast.
No sooner did I start doing the Slim Fast diet thing then I realized that it was very, very difficult, very much not [00:16:00] enjoyable, started modifying it as I do. I am a person who very much wants a strategy. I so, so, so just want somebody to tell me what to do, and I am fundamentally incapable of doing what somebody tells me to do.
I can get a lot of success by following a certain amount of rules and then I have to, I truly have to, and this is what I was saying about the thing that you want most in the world is just to be yourself. You and I both think we want to follow what somebody else tells us. You and I have both been socialized to be the good girl, to follow the rules, to get an A plus, or at least an A minus, or at least a B plus.
You know, I mean, push come to shove, it's still a good grade. And the thing is, yes, yes, we wanna be good. Yes, we wanna follow rules. And also more than that, [00:17:00] butting up against that, is that we really want to be seen as being good, we want to be validated as being a good girl by doing things our way instead of following the rules. It's hard to be us,
huh? So anyway, I did the Slim Fast thing until I lost almost all the weight I wanted. And then I started running. And it's so funny because for so long I told myself this story about how I actually finished losing the weight by running, and here's what happened. I finished the losing weight by running because I ran like directly into
some mindset superhighways. And this is why I have really come back around on my advice about you have to lose the last pound before you finish, before [00:18:00] you go on to running. You have to get your business goal before you start your book. You have to, you know, finish your book before you move on to whatever else.
Like...
I as your coach would love to help you finish something because that last pound, that last page, that last dollar, that last thing has information for you about who you are. It is the hard part where you look yourself in the face and you decide. You decide to see yourself differently. You decide to stop saying, I am a person who, whatever it is, can't lose weight, can't finish a book, nobody likes, can't make enough money, can't do whatever it is, and you decide
to start calling yourself a person who never has to lose weight [00:19:00] again, can write more than one book, is successful at business, whatever it is, the the thing that you want to say about yourself with the goal. Stepping across that chasm honestly and on purpose was actually the word I was trying to use there intentionally laying down your old self concept and picking up your new self concept, even though it's new, even though it's unfamiliar, even though it feels like a grind inside of you, even though it feels difficult creating emotional resonance with the thing you want,
and laying down and dissolving the emotional resonance with the thing you are leaving behind. My friend. As your coach, I know this is the ultimate of what you will do when you get your goal. And it's why I used to give [00:20:00] that advice. Because the sooner you do it, the sooner it's done. The sooner you stop hopping goals and moving on to the next thing, the sooner you will see that this is the work.
It does get easier and not because of time. But because you'll see that it's the work, you'll understand what it feels like, you'll hear the arguing inside of you. You'll feel that grind inside of you. You'll feel that cognitive dissonance, the resistance, ugh, the yuck, and you'll see it for what it is. You will start to lay it down faster.
You'll start to hear it faster. You'll start to hear yourself say, I really wanted to fill in the blank, but then I thought, whatever else. And then you'll honor that thing you really wanted to do, even though it feels vulnerable, even though it feels scary, even though you [00:21:00] have deep socialization not to.
That is what is on the other side of losing that last pound. That is what, what is on the other side of getting your business goal before you write your book. That is what is on the other side of finishing your book before you move on to something else. Honoring your self, your you. That is what it takes to actually get your goal and it's hard.
I have so much tenderness for both of us. There's nothing wrong with goal hopping. There's nothing wrong with starting to run before you finish losing weight. There's nothing wrong with writing a book before you've made the money you wanna make. There's nothing wrong with getting pull-ups before you finish tidying your study.
There's nothing wrong with you. You are not making mistakes. You're not [00:22:00] doing it wrong. You are not making excuses. You are on your way to your goal, in your way. There's something here for you to learn. And honestly, the thing that I've come to is that sometimes, sometimes you're not just skirting away from something and dipping out the side door on your way.
Sometimes your brain will choose another goal that's easier for you to hear what you're saying to yourself currently and what you want to be saying to yourself. I have come to the conclusion that there is literally, literally no way to get your goal wrong. It doesn't matter how long it takes. It doesn't [00:23:00] matter how many side alleys you run down.
It doesn't matter how many other side goals you start and maybe even quit and maybe even throw to the side or get all the way to, in a way that you're like, Ooh, maybe that wasn't the best way. It doesn't matter how you get there, you will. You are. And the way there is to see yourself, to understand yourself, to honor yourself, to sit in the resistance, to really just have the cognitive dissonance. To be you.
You are the answer.
Did I give you anything practical? I feel like, I feel like there's this moment here where I could have been like, and here's how the Daily 3 helps, because of course it does. I mean, of course it [00:24:00] does. Of course it does. You get to see yourself in the future. You get to untangle the the reasons why you're telling yourself you can't have it.
You do the success journaling, as I verbally did today in this podcast. Like you know that, you know that, oh my gosh, girl. This one's for you. Make of it what you will. Thank you so much for being here. I'll talk to you again soon.
