Welcome to Get Your Goal with Pahla B. I'm your host, Pahla B. I'm a weight loss and menopause expert, certified life coach and author of the book Mind Over Menopause. On this podcast, we dive deep into the mindset tools and proven get your goal formula that will help you lose weight for the last time. Are you ready to get your goal? Me too. Let's go.
Hey, girlfriend. Welcome to Episode 269, the one where we talk about how to keep your New Year's resolution. And I want to let you know that it occurred to me while we're talking about keeping your New Year's resolution that I didn't have a podcast this year about how to make a New Year's resolution. Longtime listeners of the now Get Your Goal podcast and what formerly was the Fitness Matters podcast and what was formerly, formerly the Let's RUN podcast.
If you have been listening for a while, you know that over the years I have had so many resolution podcasts, like I can think of at least six, seven, I'm going to say at least seven. At this point, I have lots. I'm going to list them in the show notes for you. Depending on where you're watching or listening, you either open up the description box if you're watching on YouTube or you open up the description if you're listening on a podcast app or you can just go to, hopefully by the time you hear this, the website will be live. I am recording it before the end of the year and you will hear this after the first of the year. And so I'm still in the making it happen stage of getting getyourgoal.com live.
So by the time you hear this, I'm going to speak that into existence, it'll be fine, it'll be up, it'll be going. If not, you'll be redirected to what is part of the Pahla B Fitness website. That's a whole conversation I didn't intend to have. In any event, there will be links. You will be able to hear all about resolutions, how I make them, you can listen to some of my past resolutions, which I think could be very interesting. I have not listened to old episodes, I've been going through them, again, getting the Get Your Goal website up and running. I've been going through the titles of them and figuring out how I want to arrange them on the new website and things like that. So I'm aware of the existence of lots of old podcasts, but I haven't listened to the old resolution podcasts. I know for sure that I've got lots and lots and lots of episodes on how to set goals and resolution, specifically I use the word goal and resolution interchangeably. I think it would be actually really fun to go listen to some of my old resolutions.
But anyways, today, we are really specifically talking about how to keep your resolution because I am operating from the assumption that you have already made a resolution. If you haven't, go listen to some of those, how to make a resolution podcasts and have something in mind. And I will tell you that how to make a resolution is very important, of course, it is, but also not entirely important for what we're talking about today because what I'm offering you today is, I'm going to call this a dynamic framework. This is how I've been thinking about my own goal getting and even just my own process about a lot of things that, all of a sudden got really big picture, thinking that anything in life is static, unchanging, and unmoving is not helpful because it is not the way reality works.
In reality, there are always moving parts, there will always be something new to learn, there will always be something that happens that changes what you thought you were going to do, what you thought you were going to have, what you thought you were going to be, where you thought you were going to go and how you thought you were going to get there. Being really open to the ever-changing nature of your goal is part of getting your goal. And having said that, I do want to tell you just super, super quickly because I'm assuming that you already have resolutions. I also realized that I hadn't told you mine for the year. I'm actually still in the process. I am recording this as I mentioned before the start of the year. So I am in fact today really sitting down and creating my vision board and thinking about what I want for 2023.
I've had a couple of ideas already rattling around and that's what I'm sharing with you here. I mean, apropo of our conversation that we just had, these are not carved in stone, these are ideas that I'm working with that I'm going to flesh out more right now and also be open to how it evolves in 2023. So I have three different goals, which if you listen to an old podcast, you're going to hear me tell you that you should only have one. I totally still stand by that, and I stand by having a goal for different parts of your life. This is what I'm going to tell you is that I have a physical goal, I have a business goal, and I have a personal goal. And when you very, very, very, very, very first start setting goals, I do think it's incredibly important to only think about one thing at a time.
Even getting the goal setting process and the goal getting process under your belt requires so much more focus. I am at a place in my goal getting, I mean, I am a certified goal coach. I teach people how to get goals. I think about goals. I am all goals all the time. I do feel really comfortable having a variety of goals in different ways. And I will tell you that I still wouldn't have what I would consider conflicting goals. For example, I have a physical goal this year related to strength that I would not counteract by having a physical goal related to, let's say, running or racing, which is what I used to make goals in all the time. And it's really interesting last year, well, okay for me still technically this year, 2022, I had the process goal of doing strength training really, really consistently.
And oh my gosh, that worked out so well. I loved having that process goal where I really focused on making sure that I was getting two strength training sessions every single week, and I nailed that. I'd have to go back and count, but I want to say I had three or maybe four weeks where that didn't happen for a variety of reasons that I chose on purpose, they were all travel-related that I just didn't make happen and I feel really, really good about hitting 48 of 52 weeks of my strength goal. Super, super, super happy about that. And so this year, I am building on top of that with performance goals that I got the consistency under my belt for an entire year. And to be clear, I've been working on strength for 15 years. Strength training wasn't new to me last year, but it was new to me to think about it in a way where I was like, well, okay, I wasn't a 100%, I was 48% out of 52% consistent.
What is that math? I feel like that's in the range of like 95%, between 90% and 97%. Somewhere I could do the math. I have my phone next to me. No, I don't. Oh, I can't do the math right now. In any event, I feel really good about the consistency that I had. I feel really good about how strong I am right now from working the way I have been working. And so this year I'm setting myself some performance goals where I'm going to continue to be consistent because that is so easy to me now that I'm going to hit really specific targets on really specific strength training exercises, which is to say I have a deadlift goal, I have a squat goal and almost against my will, not really, but I have a bench press goal. I have historically never been a fan of bench pressing, it is not something as a certified functional fitness specialist.
Bench pressing is not a functional movement, it is not something that humans do naturally. However, I understand the point of being strong with your chest muscles with a pushing motion. So I have a bench press goal, and the reason I have a bench press goal is because I'm working out with my sons. I almost had my kids, I'm transitioning out of calling them kids because they're grown men, they're adults, but they will always be my babies. So, anyway, that was a left turn. But anyway, so I have performance goals in the deadlift, the squat and bench press.
I also have a business goal, which I'm noticing right now because I'm thinking about goals for next year, I'm noticing that I have kind of fallen into the, I'm going to call it an unintentional habit. I think it was kind of intentional when I first started it and then I'm noticing that it doesn't quite fit. And this is also apropo of our conversation about how your goal is going to be dynamic. You are going to find that you speak about it in one way and after a time that way doesn't feel as compelling as it used to. Now, does that mean that it always happens this way? No. You might have a goal that feels compelling from start to finish, it feels doable the entire time. I'm noticing with my million-dollar business goal that the way I speak about it is changing, and further to that, I am considering making another change.
The way I've been talking about it for a while now is that I'm running a million-dollar business. That is my goal. I'm going to be running a million-dollar business and I'm not sure if I love that. I like the idea of it. It really has me in the frame of mind of thinking about who I'm going to be as far as a decision maker and a CEO and a president, and how I'm going to think about having help, how I'm going to be delegating.
It has put me in the place where I am thinking about how a million-dollar business runs and I'm also considering moving into some kind of language that helps me embody the having of a million dollars. Not just the running of a million-dollar company, which let's just talk about this super, super briefly for those of you who listen to me and are thinking about business goals. When I talk about a million-dollar business, I'm talking about gross, I'm talking about profits. I am not talking about having a million dollars and that's part of what I'm thinking about is the having of a million dollars, which means that my business itself would actually be generating even more than that in revenue. And that is something worth considering, especially with business goals. When you run a business, you are spending money. In fact, oh my gosh, I'm about to start looking at this year's numbers and really dissecting where I spent money, how I spent money.
I spent so much money this year. Oh my gosh, you guys, this was such a growth year for my business in pivoting in a lot of different ways. And oh, good golly, the amount of money I spent, my profit this year was significantly lower than it has been in years past. And that is something to consider also, how do I want to make those decisions? So one of the things that I am mulling over right now as I'm moving forward, I am running a million-dollar business and also I am thinking about having a million dollars and I'm also thinking about the creation, the making of money. Because the thing that you have to do to make money is not just make decisions and have staff and delegate and plan ahead and all those things that I have historically thought of myself as being not great at which I have completely changed my self concept on so many of those things, but also the creation of value because making money is a value exchange that in order to make money, I have to make a valuable product.
I have to create programs and content, and I'm trying to think of other words, but really it is programs and content. Specifically right now, I'm also thinking about retreats and podcasts, which is content. And I have to make things that are valuable in order to make money. And that is something that I think is going to be especially important to me this year is the creation of value as a value exchange. And so, I'm really, again, mulling, I'm thinking about the wording of that, I'm thinking about how I want to consider talking about that and I've already come up with one idea that I like. And I'm just going to tell you that I'm going to throw out a number and it's going to sound kind of shocking to those of you who do not run a million-dollar business, but I don't know if you've ever thought about it.
In order to make a million dollars in one year, it means that you're making a little bit over $83,000 a month. I almost can't even say that with a straight face. That's a big number. That still feels like monopoly money to me right now, which is what I'm working on this year is understanding those big numbers and wrapping my brain around big numbers. So one of the things that I am considering for this year is making, creating, having the value of $100,000 in one month. And the reason I'm even walking down that road is because the year that I made $100,000 in my business, that number was so compelling. Oh my gosh, that $100,000, I ate it for breakfast, lunch and dinner. I had it in my bones. I felt that number all year long.
And I've noticed in myself that since that year that my goals haven't felt that real to me. I had some numbers in mind, I kind of thought I was maybe getting some place and I never had that immense certainty that I had at $100,000. I'm trying to recapture a little bit of that and move it forward in a way that still having that number, I'm seeing whether or not that number still feels very compelling. Right now, it does and again, still mulling. And then finally, because we're not even talking about how to keep your resolutions yet, we're still talking about mine. I have a personal goal this year of traveling and I have not put a number on it yet, I have not put a quantity on it, I have not put any kind of parameters on it, which is what I am currently considering and trying to figure out exactly what I want it to look like.
One of the things that I know I'll be doing this year, and I don't know, I want it to be really clear with you about that, I have been talking about having a book tour for months now. I started talking about this in September and October when I turned in my book and it became a little bit more real to me that the book is publishing, I have a published date, it's July 18th. So I've been talking about this book tour as though it's an actual thing, it's not. I have no idea, my publisher hasn't talked about a book tour, I haven't made any plans. People are asking me, "Oh, are you coming to Phoenix? Oh, make sure you stop in South Carolina." People are telling me, "Oh, I want to make sure that I see you, when is it going to be?" I have no idea. I've just been talking about this, speaking it into existence because I want to do this.
I have no idea if this is going to happen except for the fact that I know it is. I'm going to make some kind of a book tour happen because I want to, it is on my vision board, it is a thing, it is a resolution that I am making happen this year in one way or another. Even if it's just me driving around the country like, hi, I have a book, you want to buy it?
It's so funny to me. It feels very real to me in a way that lots of other goals don't, which I'm very excited about because, well, I'm excited about traveling for one thing and I'm also just really excited about talking to you about my book and having a book and publishing a book and all those kinds of things. So a book tour is happening in one way or another this year somehow.
Okay. So hey, you guys, here's how to keep your New Year's resolution. I have five things for you of course, because my son said to me the other day, he's like, you really like fives, don't you? If one of your resolutions this year or if your one and only resolution this year is to lose weight, come and download the 5-0 Method. You all, the 5-0 Method, it's simple, it's sustainable, it's science-backed, it is the way to lose weight for women over 50.
I have it for you for free, and there are five things that we do every single day that make you say, oh, which is why I call it the 5-0 Method. I didn't know that it could be this simple to lose weight after 50. You can get it to getyourgoal.com because of course getyourgoal.com is going to be live and available to you, and if not, it'll redirect you and it'll go to pahlabfitness.com where you can find it on the front page, the 5-0 Method where we do the five things to lose weight, and in those five things, there are other five things. I have lots of fives. The Get Your Goal formula has five things. Within the five things, there are other things that have five things. Really, I love the number five, but what I have for you today is five things that you can do to make sure that you keep your New Year's resolution this year.
Number one is to decide. I love the energy of being decisive. This is something that I have been working on for years and years and years at this point. I used to be the kind of person who did not like to make decisions. I was a very waffler kind of a person where I would waffle from one thing to the other. I would have a hard time making decisions. I would even say I have a hard time making decisions or conversely, I would say, no, I don't have a hard time making decisions, but then I wouldn't make a decision. I love the energy of having a decision made. I don't always like the making of the decision, sometimes I do still find myself struggling with making a decision, but I enjoy having the decision made so much that I allow that to drive me to make decisions so that I can get that feeling of decisiveness. I love decisiveness.
When you have decided that you are keeping your resolution, I want to parse this out for you a little bit, you are not deciding that the resolution is going to happen, you are deciding that you are committed to making the resolution happen. Sometimes we confuse that and I don't really have a specific example other than you can decide that you're losing weight because you like the idea of having lost the weight, like what I was just talking about with I love the idea, I love the feeling of being decisive. But deciding that you want the weight lost isn't quite the same thing as deciding that you are at the helm of and responsible for and making the decisions related to the losing of the weight.
Deciding that it's yours, that it's your project, that it's something you are going to do, that you are going to figure out how to get the thing that you want. Means that no matter where you end the year, no matter where you get with this resolution, that you never lose steam, that you have the decision of this is happening one way or another because I'm figuring it out, it's going to take how long it takes and I'm going to get there when I get there keeps you focused on your part of it as opposed to just the finished product. The finished product, fantastic. We're actually going to talk about that in the next thing that we talk about. But the finished product isn't really the decision, the decision is that you are going to take this on. It's about you doing and deciding that you're going to get there.
Because these aren't really steps, this is not something that you need to do in order, these are just five things that you're going to do to keep your resolution as opposed to five things like step number one is decide. Even though being decisive is really helpful for these other things, but they're not really necessarily building on each other. Thing number two is to daydream. This is the weirdest advice ever except for the fact that it has been scientifically proven and I love this. I love this every time I think about it, it's been scientifically proven that daydreaming is one of the key factors in actually getting what you want. Olympic athletes, scientists, and creators of all kind have tapped into this skill of daydreaming because it primes your brain to accept the reality of what you want.
When you daydream and you're picturing yourself doing this thing or having this thing or being this particular kind of person, you are putting yourself in the place of already having it and already feeling the emotions. You are practicing being that person in much the same way that you have to practice the piano and much as anyone, you have to practice cooking or writing in cursive or all the things that we have practiced throughout our lives. Daydreaming about being a person who weighs your goal weight is practicing being a person who weighs your goal weight. When you daydream, it helps you make the thing reality. For a lot of reasons, there's really specifically, it's because your brain loves to agree with itself. When it can see this thing as a reality, it will help you do things right now that make that a reality so that it can continue to agree with it itself. I love the daydreaming of science, it makes me so happy.
Thing number three that you will do in order to keep your New Year's resolution is to let go of stuff, and I don't mean physical stuff, although that might have something to do with it too, but letting go of stuff in your brain, letting go of your old stories, letting go of old emotions, letting go of old thoughts about yourself. I'll be honest, the letting go is hands down the hardest thing I'm asking you to do, truly. Letting go of your currently believable unempowering stories about yourself, about weight loss, about the future, about what's available to you, about what you're capable of, about what you deserve, about who you are as a human being, letting go of all that is weirdly hard. We think, all of us, every single one of us, we're like, oh, but those stories are weighing me down, I don't like it, it feels terrible when I think these things about myself. I'd love to let that go.
And the actual letting go feels like a tiny death, it feels like cutting off a familiar part of you that I always think of the phrase "the devil you know" because you are so accustomed to feeling terrible about yourself that it's just really familiar. Feeling amazing about yourself is scary if you've never done it before and that's so weird. We all think, oh, I just want to feel positive all the time, I just want to feel happy, I just want to feel good about myself, I just want to feel confident, and yet if you are not used to feeling confident, it is terrifying. What if I'm not good at feeling confident? So funny like the irony of not being confident about feeling confident. But this is why daydreaming can help because it lets you try on that feeling of confidence, it lets you try on that feeling of decisiveness, it lets you try on that feeling of having the thing that you want so that it makes it slightly easier to let go of the things that are holding you back.
The actual being in the middle of letting go of the things that are holding you back is going to feel so wildly uncomfortable. You all, this is something we talk about all the time in the Get Your Goal group, it's part of the Get Your Goal formula, I call it the hard bounce at the bottom where you are in between two self-concepts. The one self-concept of I'm a loser, I don't even know why that came up, that is worthy of exploring later. That was funny that that was the first sentence that popped into my mind as an example, but it's easy to see the difference between I'm a loser and I'm a winner, where trying to believe that you are a winner, that you can have what you want, that you are a person who gets their goals versus this lifelong belief that you are a loser, it's really uncomfortable to be in the middle of that.
Letting go of your old stories is the thing that is going to propel you forward to your resolution and being committed to it. I think this is the part that really is shocking to people like, oh, it's going to be so easy to let go of these old stories and it's going to feel so good to step into my confidence. And yeah, it does feel good when you feel confident, but the actual letting go part is the most uncomfortable part of your journey and being decisive that you are going to be the person who gets your goal and daydreaming about the getting of the goal is what's going to help you get through that really uncomfortable letting go of old stuff.
The fourth thing that you're going to do to keep your New Year's resolution is to invest thinking time. And I want to be really clear that this is not necessarily planning ahead. I have lots of thoughts, lots of advice about how to plan ahead and how planning ahead can make you super successful and I stand by that. In fact, I have several podcasts where we talk about planning ahead. I love planning ahead.
I know that it is the thing that is moving me forward towards my goal and I'm getting better at it and I love that I'm getting better at it. But what I want to offer you with this invest thinking time is that it is something that it's one of the things that I am working towards in my business in 2023, I'm calling it Creative White Space, that I am opening up time on my calendar, I am opening up space in my brain to just allow myself to think and think in a way that is intentionally creative versus desperately trying to feel better, desperately trying to solve a problem, desperately trying to get away from my thoughts or my feelings or the world around me, but simply allowing myself to be in a space that feels open and spacious and allowing myself to think. And sometimes that thinking time is going to feel really uncomfortable and sometimes that thinking time is going to feel really creative and sometimes that thinking time is probably going to feel very frustrating and I didn't get anything done and unproductive and all of that is completely okay.
For me, the investment of thinking time means that I can do whatever I want with that little block of time that I have built into my calendar now and it is the act of investing the time in myself that is more important than what I get out of it and this is what I want to offer you. When you invest in yourself with time and the openness to be creative, to be maybe spontaneous or maybe planning ahead or maybe productive or maybe unproductive or maybe just listening to yourself in a way that maybe you haven't done before, that investment of time in yourself, first of all, is just a beautiful act of self-love and is also a bridge of self-trust. When you invest thinking time in yourself, it shows you that you value your own thoughts.
When you invest time in yourself, I believe that the investment of time is one of the kindest things that you can do on your way to keeping your resolution, on your way to getting your resolution because of how much, first of all, dedication, second of all, self-love and third of all, self-trust. It actually takes to even put that time on your calendar. As I mentioned, this is something that I am doing really intentionally for myself this year and I've been working on this stuff for years. I've been working on self-trust and self-love for years. I offer it to you as almost an advanced strategy to think of yourself as worthy of investing in, worthy of investing the time in. And I want to be really clear that this isn't necessarily time that you are listening to a podcast or actively journaling or even necessarily trying to solve a problem or trying to be creative, it is time that you are simply blocking out for yourself to use in a way that feels good in the moment and allowing yourself to trust that what feels good in the moment is exactly what you needed.
Because thing number five of things that you're going to do to keep your New Year's resolution is to journal that there is a time for creative white space and there's also a dedicated amount of time that you will spend trying to find your thoughts, trying to analyze yourself in a curious and compassionate way. Doing the actual physical work of journaling will change you. It will. Hands down, 100% I am telling you this is why it's part of the 5-0 Method, this is why it's the thing that I spend so much time teaching you how to do in the Get Your Goal group. In the Get Your Goal group, we have live journaling classes every month where we are exploring new techniques, we are journaling together, we get coaching on the things that we have journaled about and it's not even necessarily about finding the right way to journal.
I have a very prescriptive way to journal, we've talked about it in a couple of different episodes most recently. I have no idea what the number is, but it's how to journal for weight loss where I talk to you about the two-step tool, which is it's my thing, it's about to be trademarked. That's one of the things I'm doing for myself this year is I'm trademarking some of my intellectual property because I'm so proud of the two-step tool. But anyways, journaling every day is the thing that I spend so much time teaching you how to do in the Get Your Goal group. It's the thing that we talk about so much here, finding your thoughts, deciding if they're helpful. That is the thing that will transform your life. I cannot overstate this.
Being aware of what you are thinking now and understanding that it is your thoughts that are creating your feelings, that are driving your actions, that are getting you results means that your thoughts are your most important asset and being aware of what you are thinking and understanding from a completely curious and compassionate space that your thoughts are either moving you forward or holding you back towards getting your goal, that, my friends, is gold. Every single morning I sit down with my breakfast and my journal and I ask myself, what's holding me back today? Actually, that's not exactly how I ask myself. I ask myself a variety of questions.
In the 5-0 Method, I suggest a very specific question, what do I think about today's numbers? Because it's such a versatile question. There are so many numbers involved with weight loss, there's your calorie target, there's your actual calories that you've eaten maybe yesterday or depending on when you journal either yesterday or today, there's how much water you had, there's how much sleep you got, there's how much you exercised, there's your goal weight, there's today's weight. There's so many numbers that you can ask yourself, what do I think about today's numbers in this way that you can uncover all of your thoughts. I say this with love, but so many of them, especially when you get started, are going to be unhelpful.
That's why it feels so hard to get traction towards your resolution is because you're thinking unhelpful thoughts. It's completely okay. It's completely normal. It's completely natural. The more you journal and find your unhelpful thoughts, it's exactly the same reason I offer you the advice of weighing yourself every day. When you are faced with the data every day, I've got five thoughts and all five of them are unhelpful. I've got five more thoughts today and all five of them are unhelpful. I've got five thoughts today and all five of them are unhelpful. It's simply a matter of recognizing this is data, this is information, it's exposure therapy in the most beautiful way. When you expose yourself to your unhelpful thoughts, over time, they will not feel so scary, they will not feel so debilitating, they will not be holding you back.
Recognizing that you have unhelpful thoughts and it's completely normal, it's completely okay. Looking at them with curious compassion and understanding, ah, that's something that's not going to move me forward, that action of the journaling, of the finding of your thoughts and deciding if they're helpful will move you forward. Even if all your finding is unhelpful thoughts, the action of journaling and understanding that it's part of the process to find the unhelpful thoughts, my friends, that's what's going to help you keep your New Year's resolution.
To recap, here are the five things because there are always five things, and I didn't even do it on purpose except that I kind of did when I got to the fifth thing, I'm like, oh, I'm not going to brainstorm anymore. We're stopping at five. Number one is to decide, number two is to daydream, number three is to let go, number four is to invest thinking time, and number five is to journal. They all work together. None of them is more important and none of them is step one, they are five things that you'll do in order to keep your New Year's resolution.
And hey, I would love to actually hear what your New Year's resolution is. I mean, it's that time of year, you can come find me anywhere on social media, I'm everywhere. It's easiest to find me on YouTube or Instagram or Facebook though, just that's where it's easiest to have conversations in the comments as opposed to, for example, Pinterest. I'm almost never on Pinterest. I'm still pinning things on Pinterest, I've got a thing that does that for me, but I'm almost never there, so don't comment there because it's not really a great place to have a conversation. But other places, we can definitely have conversations. My friends, oh my gosh, thank you so much for listening. I really hope that this one was helpful. I don't even hope, I know, I know that you are keeping your New Year's resolutions this year. This is your year. Let's go. Let's make this happen. I'll see you again soon.
Thanks for listening. Be sure to leave a rating and review so other women of a certain age can stop struggling with the scale and start loving their menopausal bodies. And if you are ready to change your mindset while you're changing your weight, then it's time to get into the Get Your Goal Mastermind group where you'll find my proven success formula, answers to your questions, expert coaching and the community support you've been looking for. You don't need to lose weight alone when you can have fun and level up your mindset with friends, with weekly coaching calls, live journaling classes and access to the tools and strategies I've used to help thousands of women lose weight for the last time. The Get Your Goal group is the place for you to get your goal. Learn more about group membership at www.getyourgoal.com and I'll see you inside the group.
