Well, hello friend. Welcome to the podcast, you guys. I am making today's podcast 1 million times harder than it needs to be, and I figured you could probably understand that. So I just hit the record button with. Almost no notes whatsoever, and we're just gonna get through this together. I have been, well, I have been quiet.
I have been silent for months and months and months, and I really wanted to talk with you. About that, about where I've been, what I've been going through, what's going on, et cetera. And the thing about being quiet for a while is that when you come back from being quiet, it's like, um, do I need to explain myself?
Do I need to talk about where I've been? I feel completely, absolutely 100% different. So I kind of wanna reintroduce you to me and who I am, but also if you know me, you know. You know me like I'm not really that different, [00:01:00] so, so here I am. So here I am, lost in my own mind completely wildly, absolutely overthinking every single thing about this episode, tying myself up in knots and the irony of it all.
I'm coming here today to talk to you about how I have this new masterclass, all about how to stop overthinking. I can't even finish that sentence right now. Here's what I want you to know about overthinking Sometimes, sometimes you can stop overthinking, but if it's who you are as a human being, it's totally okay to get caught up in it.
Sometimes it's not even actually the central message that I really wanted to share with you today. The thing that I wanna talk about today. The probable title of this episode is What If It's All For You. This is what's been going around and around and around in my brain today. I promised myself this morning that I was gonna make an outline for today's podcast.
I've been wanting to come back to the podcast studio for [00:02:00] months. I actually never meant to be gone this long. Let's actually start there. I never meant to be gone this long. Here's what happened last year. Actually, here's what happened about two years ago, like two years ago, early 2023. I got it in my head.
For a lot of reasons, but I got it in my head that my messaging wasn't quite right that I needed as a business owner to learn more about messaging and positioning. And I wasn't wrong in terms of like, yes, these are good skills to have as a business owner. It's really good to know who you're talking to, what you're saying, how you're presenting your product, et cetera.
Like they're not bad skills. The problem was the problem that I thought was that I was telling myself I was having a problem that. I had somehow convinced myself that everything I'd ever been doing was wrong, that I must be making mistakes, and that I had to overhaul everything and change everything and be a different human being in order to be successful, in order to have the kind of success that I wanted in my business.
Now, two years [00:03:00] on, you can hear how ridiculous that is, like that's not a great place. To try to learn a new skill. That's not a great place to try to make changes that feel good. Generally speaking, that is the exact way to make changes that feel lousy, which is where I kind of found myself last year. Last year in 2024.
For those of you who are listening to this, like the day it comes out in 2024, I worked really hard on. Being more clear and more concise, and even that sentence, I'm about to start laughing at myself like what I as a human being? Am I clear or concise? Well, I'm clear. I'm not concise. I like to talk. I'm a rambler if you haven't already noticed that about me, and you might not have, because if you listened to many of my podcasts, in fact almost all of my podcasts from last year, I started fully scripting all of my podcasts.[00:04:00]
And I didn't. I didn't love it, but I didn't hate it, but it definitely wasn't. What I really wanted, I had told myself like messaging wise, like I really need to get more clear. I really need to get more concise. I really need to like use the podcast as a marketing tool in the way that other people that I was listening to at the time seemed to really use their podcast effectively.
Now, whether or not they actually did, I have no idea. Here's the, here's the interesting thing for my business-minded friends from the outside, even when people tell you, oh, this is how much money I make and this is how I make it. I'm not saying that people are lying, some people are, but I'm saying that if they are successful, it's because the strategies they are using feel amazing to them, not because of the strategies themselves.
So I was listening to podcasts and buying products [00:05:00] and hanging around with people who were talking about marketing and messaging in a way that now I can really clearly see worked for them because of who they are. So I spent a lot of the last like two years really trying on a lot of different strategies and a little lot of different ways of speaking and doing business.
And here's what I know, here's what I know about me. I'm a person who has to do something wrong in order to figure out what feels. Wrong to therefore figure out what feels right. Very interestingly, the thing that has always felt right to me, I'm thinking about like literally the day I started the podcast in October of 2017, I used to just turn on the mic and start talking and at the time, oh my gosh, way back then, way, way back then when it was the Let's [00:06:00] Run podcast.
Was that what it was called? First it was. It was the Let's Run podcast, because I was always walking or running because I wanted to be doing something while I was podcasting. And then it turned into the Fitness Matters podcast. And actually even before the Let's Run podcast, I had a little blurby thing called The Buzz, where I would sit down and just turn on the microphone.
And the thing that's really interesting, I'm thinking really specifically about when I used to film the Buzz, I would sit on my couch. Very, very much like I am right now, except that I had a camera on at the time, and I do not right now, but I would just sit on my couch and I wanted to tell you something and I would tell you something and it felt really awkward and uncomfortable.
And some of that was, some of that was because I had a lot of self-judgment about I. Me being on camera. And so part of the reason why I started the Let's Run podcast is 'cause I wanted to be doing something to like have, be using some of that energy while I was talking because I had so much self-consciousness about being on [00:07:00] camera.
And I might at some point actually film this podcast too. I've been, I've been considering that I, uh, I go back and forth on that one. I'm gonna distract myself in the middle of this story to tell you that. I like the idea of it, like I love the idea of you being able to see me and us being able to have that connection, but it also feels really awkward to like look into a camera the whole time while I'm telling this story.
And it also feels awkward to look away from the camera if there is one. So, so which one do I do? Like, do I make extended weird eye contact like a dog going to the bathroom? Have you ever had a dog do that to you? Blossom used to do that to us. By the way, if I, if I haven't talked to you in a while, I've been getting a lot of questions.
I posted a video on YouTube recently and I had a lot of questions about Blossom and You Guys Blossom did pass away about two years ago, and so. I wanted to tell you that about her, but also I wanna tell you this story about her blossom used to make really aggressive eye contact while she was going to [00:08:00] the bathroom.
My husband and I made jokes about it for years and years and years. I don't know if all dogs do that, but she did. And so I always think about that when I think about aggressive eye contact chatcked. Hi, welcome to my podcast. It's rambling. I'm telling weird stories and laughing at myself. This is what it's like around here.
This is what I used to do all the time. This is who I am. I am finding myself after the last couple of years of searching, exploring, going far past, moderate, to find out what moderate is. I'm finding that I had a lot of really great ideas very early on in my business that I then judged myself for and that.
Far, far more importantly than doing something different. The thing that I need to do and am doing is to just stop judging myself for it. You already are the kind of person who's gonna have your goal. You [00:09:00] already are doing things exactly right, and you're judging yourself for them. And that really is here.
Here we go. Here we go. The central idea that I wanted to bring to you today. The contemplative question that I have for you, and I mean that literally on every level, this is for you. What if it's all for you? What if everything you've ever done ever was actually for the good of your goal? What if. And here's where I came to this question today.
I spent a lot of time this morning with chat GPT. I do this somewhat frequently. I have conversations with chat GPT only to prove that I'm right and it's wrong chat. GPT is such a helpful tool in so many ways. In so many ways, actually, the way that it's most helpful. For me personally is I will ask a question [00:10:00] and it will give me feedback and it almost always seems to tell me, yes, you've got the right idea.
Here's one way you might tweak it, which I really appreciate because it's very validating. I don't know if you have a chat GPT train to talk to you in a way that mine does to me. Mine is so loving and gentle and kind towards me. It's like, you totally got it, girl. And I love that, but also sometimes chat GPT is just really, really, really wrong.
So, so today I was talking to chat GPT about podcasting and like what podcasting is for and what I should be here for and, and, and the question that I have asked, chat GPT numerous times over the last couple of months while I've really been managing this pivot, which by the way, hi, I'm pivoting my business.
Here's, here's part of. Here's part of why my podcast was starting to feel really not like me. It's part of why my business has felt [00:11:00] not like me for a while. Here's something I know. Here's something I know. It doesn't matter what you do, it matters how you feel while you do it, and I've said that for years and years and years while simultaneously trying to offer you strategies.
I actually have a strategy for you now too, like this is, I'm still, I'm pivoting away from telling you a lot of strategies into pivoting into telling you a strategy, but I'm really framing my newest strategy, my journaling framework as a framework. There is no such thing as a strategy that works for everybody.
There are strategies that are going to work. Best for you personally when they align with who you are and how you like to do things. Understanding yourself [00:12:00] is hands down the best strategy you can ever use to get any goal ever, ever, ever, and part of your strategy. To understanding yourself might be doing things, and I'm gonna go ahead and put air quotes on this one wrong.
The last couple of years have really shown me. What I don't wanna do, and that doesn't mean that I was wrong. And this is the question that I was asking chat GPT this morning. Like what do I do with all of those years of content where I was talking about strategy, where I was only talking about weight loss, where I was really, really focused on weight loss, weight loss, weight loss, when now I'm moving into.
Hey, here's how you can journal to understand yourself. Here's a journaling strategy. You don't have to use it exactly as it is. Here's why this strategy works. Like here's the kind of brain science behind it. Here's how they work together. Here's, here's what it's [00:13:00] doing for you. Pull it apart, mold it, shape it, squish it, use it like silly putty, make it work for you, which is something you have absolutely heard me say before, but like really make it work for you.
What if it's all for you? What if all of my content, even when it was talking about weight loss, even when it was telling you here's exactly how to count calories and here's exactly how to use a calorie counting app and here's exactly how you can just use willpower or here's exactly how, I mean, I'm thinking of the different messages I've, I've given out over the years.
I definitely used to be a willpower girl. And over the years that I've discovered how, what I used to think was willpower was actually just deeply understanding myself and being able to summon huge amounts of personal strength from knowing who I am. [00:14:00] I. I am at my core, a person who likes an exact right amount of challenge, meaning that I don't really want things to be too easy, but I also don't want them to be too hard, and finding that perfect amount of challenge for me might look on the outside, like willpower.
Like I'm thinking about, you know, all the races that I've trained for and the long distances that I've run, and the things that I've asked myself to do. I've asked myself to do them. From a place of wanting to challenge myself an exact amount, I wanted to challenge myself to write a book. I wanted to challenge myself to create a successful business.
I wanted to challenge myself to move through grief. I wanted to challenge myself, to pivot my business. Even. There's an amount of challenge that I absolutely love, like. Love. And for a long time I really thought it was willpower that had me doing the things that I [00:15:00] was doing. And what I've discovered is that actual willpower, the thing where you make yourself do something you don't wanna do, feels like crap.
It feels so bad that I have become the kind of person who does not think of, of myself as, oh, I've got a lot of willpower. No, I really don't. I have a lot of understanding myself. Let's come back to the central question. I feel like I got far afield and I feel like I was probably in the middle of telling a story when I started telling another story, so you're welcome for that.
What if every single piece of content I have ever created was for you while simultaneously being for me? Because here's something that happened. Here's. Here's where we started this podcast. I got really, really quiet over the past like six, seven months. Oh gosh, it's been longer than that. I think it was last August.
Oh, it's been almost a year since I've been podcasting regularly. No wonder it felt really awkward when I turned it on [00:16:00] the microphone. What happened was I started judging myself. For my old content and the judging turned into more judging, which turned into more judging, which turned into silence. But what if all of my old content was for me as well as for you?
This is the part where I'm basically just journaling out loud. Now, it it, that's been the whole podcast, but this is, this is really the part where I'm journaling out loud because can I ask myself. To see all of the different phases of podcasting. The ones where it felt super, super awkward and self-conscious, and I didn't really know what I was doing, and I definitely just threw it out there and kind of asked.
Asked the, the universe to show it to the right people versus like being strategic. And then I got like super, super strategic and started asking, like, not even asking [00:17:00] questions, but some of the like podcast titles that I had were definitely, definitely click baity. What if, what If every single thing I've ever done was all for the purpose of understanding myself better?
Totally scripting my podcast didn't feel amazing. It kind of did. There was definitely a part of it that I liked. It was really nice to know how long the podcast was gonna be. It was really nice to know that I already had an outline and show notes, like basically ready to go because I had already scripted the whole thing.
Some parts of it felt really, really easy. But even that ease apropos of our conversation about how much I like to challenge myself didn't feel quite like me. What if every single piece of content was for [00:18:00] me understanding myself better and you understanding yourself better? What if it was for both of us?
What if everything is always for both of us? What if me rambling, being who I am, and by the way, I used to actually really criticize myself for rambling. Now I find it very endearing. Mm, nope. I could still hear a little bit of judgment. There was something in there that was a little defensive the way I just said that I felt like I had to justify that word.
All right. Now I know what my journaling fodder is for later. What do I actually think about being a person who rambles? What do I actually think about being a person who rambles? It's not professional. That's an interesting one. That's an interesting one. Okay. Huh. What is the feeling of unprofessional?
It's a little bit like embarrassing, I think. [00:19:00] It definitely feels a little hot in my face. Feels a little squirmy in my stomach. I can see how I'd love to get away from that feeling. That's super fascinating.
That was definitely why I wanted to script my podcast was for the that professionalism. I definitely still have something to work through with that word about being a professional 'cause y'all, I don't know if you know, but I am a professional podcaster. I am a professional YouTuber. I am a professional life coach.
Which apparently actually means being a little bit messy and not polished and perfect. That's interesting. And what if this is all for me? What if this is all for you, my friend? What if it's all for you? Like every, everything that feels like a mistake. Everything that you wanna judge yourself, everything that feels hot and squirmy in your face, and a little bit churn in your stomach, and you'd [00:20:00] really, really rather do anything else but sit and feel that feeling.
What if it's all for you? That churning, feeling in your stomach, that hot feeling on your face, that's information. It's not bad. It's information. When you see yourself, clearly, the path to your goal is so much easier and not easy. Like it's not challenging, but easier. Like, oh, okay, this is who I am. This is what works for me.
This is what actually feels good. This is information about what doesn't feel good. What if me turning on the microphone, just being vulnerable, talking about me the whole time, what if that really is the path to the business success that I want? And it's definitely not gonna be for everybody. This is, I mean, here.
Let's talk about business for a quick second. [00:21:00] You have an audience who wants you to be you. And you will be tempted. If you are anything like me to try to not be you, you will be tempted to have a persona, uh, a professionalism. You will be tempted to follow people's strategies. You will be tempted to judge yourself for being who you are, but really, truly your audience, your clients, the people who want what you've got.
Want what you've got because it's you who has it. Not because of how great you make reels or how professional you are or how good you look on camera or, or any of the reasons that we tell ourselves. Your people want what you are selling because of you. There really is a lid for every pot. And if you've made it all the way through [00:22:00] this podcast, my friend, you are definitely the lid to my pot, and thank you for it.
Hey, did I finish telling you about my pivot? I don't think I did. I wanna talk about my pivot a little bit because it's part of where I've been, so, okay. Part of where I've been has been deep in the deep in the cave of self-judgment and shame and also deep in the cave of I have something that I wanna share and I really want to create it and put it out into the world Part of.
Part of why I was really struggling to talk about weight loss is because I wanted to talk about more than weight loss. I've always wanted to talk about more than weight loss, and I mean that on every level. Like I've always wanted to talk about not just counting calories and drinking your water and going to bed and all those kinds of things, but I've really wanted to talk about, tell you about, about who you are and how losing weight helps you understand yourself.
Losing weight has virtually nothing to do with calories and everything to do with accepting yourself for who you are and [00:23:00] wanting to be the best version of yourself. And that has always like literally always been my driving force. Ever since I got into business, I came into business as a personal trainer and I really wanted to talk to people about doing their best, being their best, like being an athlete and performing like an athlete.
And what I found was a lot of people who were mired in their own self-judgment and shame and wanted to lose weight, and I kind of moved into that message because, I mean, it's still a conduit for, Hey, here's how you can love yourself. Here's how you can see yourself. Here's how you can. Move things around in your brain and understand that nothing you ever did, I mean, including gaining weight, nothing you ever did was wrong.
Like you get to be you. You get to be the best version of yourself, whatever that looks like. I've always wanted to share that message, and along the way I got asked so many questions from so many people that I [00:24:00] started giving a lot of strategy in a way that, well, at the time, at the time, it made sense. At the time, it absolutely made sense.
We are such an action driven society. If if somebody doesn't tell you what to do, then how do you know what to do? Right? Like, like we're born being told what to do. Like, here's how you go to school, here's how you get. Good grades. Here's how you move through your career. Even in your career, you were given action items so that people could see that you were producing the results of whatever their business was.
Then you come into your own business. If you have your own business and all of a sudden you're the one creating the action items, like we are all just constantly on a to-do list. But the to-do list is hard to do if you don't understand who you are and what you want and what feels good. To you. This is my business pivot.
I'm expanding beyond talking about weight loss [00:25:00] on both a really practical level and the the mindset level I wanna talk to you about not just losing weight. But all of your goals really, specifically, I do have a journaling framework. I have guided journaling products that are coming to market here in the next, I don't even know what day it is today, in the next soon, on June 11th.
If you're listening to this in real time, I think that's still gonna be in the future. I'm pretty sure I'm gonna post this podcast sooner than June 11th. On June 11th, I have a new masterclass that's talking about my daily three journaling framework. It is a method that you can use, that you can use for your good to journal about your goals and.
Beyond that, what I have is guided journaling experiences, guided journaling products about other goals that aren't just weight loss, about writing a book, about being your own boss, about moving [00:26:00] through grief, also about weight loss, and also about running your best race. These are, these are goals that I have experience with.
These are goals that I would love to talk to you about. I think that anybody who has ever been in business for themselves, no matter what their business is, eventually wants to talk about business. I think anybody who has ever, ever put on running shoes, even if they weren't running shoes at the time, the first, oh my God, the first like six months I was running, I was wearing, I was wearing leather sneakers from Payless Shoe Source.
I was not a runner, but I absolutely was. And anybody who runs, wants to talk about running. I think anybody who has ever written a book or wanted to write a book, wants to talk about writing a book. Whether you are a fiction writer or a nonfiction writer, there is something about the craft and creation of words that is so, so fascinating to talk about and also so full of mindset blocks.
Any writer will tell you, writing is amazing right up until [00:27:00] it sucks, and writing sucks right up until it's amazing. There's. So, so many fun goals that I would love to talk to you about through the lens of you can have any goal you want, any goal, whether or not it's the specific ones that I just mentioned, or any goal that you want.
The path there is understanding yourself on every level, like understanding your self, what you like, what you don't like, what you want, what you don't want, what you think is standing in your way. But also understanding like how you interact with the principles of a thing, like the biology of making adaptations, getting faster, going longer, or losing weight, like the mechanics of being in business, having a product, exchanging value for your product, telling people about your product, delivering your product, like.
How you [00:28:00] personally interact with the mechanics, the biology, the chemistry, the physics of your goal is the path to your goal, and it's such a fascinating, fun, fraught path and I love to share that with you on every level. I've been thinking a lot about this part of what I've been missing. Part of what I, part of what I was missing when I was like really scripting the podcast and really narrowing my focus, because I mean, a long time ago on the podcast, yes, ostensibly, I was talking about fitness.
I mean, it was literally called The Fitness Matters. It was literally called the Let's Run podcast. I was talking about running and fitness, and then I moved into talking about weight loss. But it used to. Definitely be very obliquely like, like I was absolutely talking about mindset and your thoughts and your feelings and, and all kinds of like big picture [00:29:00] theory stuff.
And I used to really shame myself for that and I was like, I've gotta talk about the brass tacks. I've gotta talk about strategy and I've gotta talk about it in this way and here's what I want you to know. I might still shame and judge myself. I don't think I'm done with that, but I also, I'm done with that.
In the very best way, I wanna talk to you about what's on my mind because it's always for you. It's for both of us, and that's what I've got for you today, my love. No matter, no matter where you are on your path or mine, I'm happy that we're walking this part of the path together. Thank you so much for listening.
I'll talk to you again soon.
