Welcome to the Get Your Goal podcast, the place where ambitious, deep-thinking women chart their own course, exploring the mindset, emotions, and daily practices that help you get your goal your way by being unapologetically you. I'm your host, Pahla B, master certified life and goal coach and creator of the Daily 3 journaling framework.
On this podcast, you'll learn to navigate your unique path to success by using the most powerful tool in your kit, your own internal compass. Ready for the adventure? Let's go. Hello, friend. Today we are talking about what happened to Pahla B, which by the way, is me. I'm Pahla B, and the short and official answer is that I changed the focus of my business a couple of years ago away from exercise and weight loss and towards life coaching for ambitious women with busy brains who want to get any unreasonable goal.[00:01:00]
I can help with journaling and coaching tools that help you step out of self-sabotage and into the life you've always wanted. Now, I know you can tell that I was reading that part. I promise you the rest of this podcast is not gonna be that. I- there's an intention behind why I wrote that, why I read that, and why it was the start of the podcast, and I'm actually gonna tell you that in just a couple of minutes here.
But first, I actually wanna tell you that yes, my official reason for making this podcast was to tell you that, that, you know, I changed the focus of my business. The longer version of that is the story that I'm gonna tell on this podcast. It's a story of misalignment and burnout and evolution and reinvention.
But before we get there, I wanna tell you that the nuanced answer to the question of what happened to Pahla B is that nothing happened to me, that I happened to myself. And, and before we go [00:02:00] very far, I actually really wanna clarify that the, the real answer is that I am actually still figuring it out. I am still in the messy middle, and I figured that out today when I was trying to record this podcast.
I've actually been wanting to record this podcast for a while, like oh my gosh, months at a minimum, and probably over a year, maybe longer than that. This little part here is for my entrepreneur friends. If you have a website, there is a way to know how people are finding your website. There's a thing called Google Search Console, and you can Google that, that actually tells you these are the search queries that are the most, you know, popular things that are bringing people to your website.
So over the course of my reinvention and, you know, renaming my business away from Pahla B Fitness and into Get Your Goal and [00:03:00] Get Your Goal Coaching, and like redoing honestly every single piece of my website because I used to have a website that was pahlabfitness.com, which by the way, if you know me from YouTube, you've heard me say that a million times.
And then you go to look that up and such a thing does not exist anymore. Gosh, I changed that website, I think it was 2021 or 2022. I don't remember exactly when, but I rebranded gently somewhere around there, and I wanna think that it was, like, at the beginning of the year of 2022 that I rebranded to getyourgoal.com, and I Anyway, uh, I have, over the course of the last couple of years, I have been working on, you know, my search engine optimization, making sure that people can find me, making sure that, you know, my website is very clear, that I am a life coach, I can help you with [00:04:00] journaling tools, I can help you get any goal.
And I have known for a while, because of Google Search Console, that the number one search query that brings people to my website is the question, what happened to Pahla B? And there's a part of me that, there's a part of me that feels, like, a little bit sad about that. Like, it feels like VH1 Where Are They Now?
You know? Like, they used to be so popular, and they had this one hit wonder, and now what are they doing? They're... Oh, gosh. Anyway, anyway, I am not playing at state fairs. I am still here. And, and the thing that was really interesting, not just that I wanted to make this podcast, I do wanna make this podcast.
I would rather you hear the story from me because, by the way, oh my God, my entrepreneur friends will absolutely understand this, I have, over the course of my business, many, many [00:05:00] times opened up an incognito window in my browser and Googled myself. And I highly recommend it, and also simultaneously don't, because you will find in your own business that on the one hand, it's really nice.
Like, oh my gosh, there's, like, these pictures of me, and there are people on Reddit talking about how amazing I am, and it's fantastic. And also, recently, the reason that I really... like, the spark that I was like, I absolutely want to record this podcast, is that the AI that generates an answer to the question of what happened to Pahla B is a little bit wrong.
And I wanted you, personally, if you are Googling such a thing, to actually hear the story from me. And what happened to me on the way to making this podcast, even though I have wanted to make it for months, for sure, at this point, is I really [00:06:00] struggled to actually answer that question because, because of the past tense of it.
What happened to me sounds like there was a before and then an after, and the truth of it is that I don't think I'm in the after just yet. I know I'm in the after in terms of I do not currently make YouTube videos anymore. I am not only a weight loss coach. There's definitely an after. I have changed, I have evolved, I have, you know, made new offers in my business.
Like, I'm in the after part of it- But honestly, so much of what people are actually asking, what you might be actually asking when you were asking a question like, "What happened to Pahla B? Why isn't she making workout videos anymore?" I actually had a, um, a podcast that is no longer on my website, but it is still, I think, I think it's still in your podcast app.[00:07:00]
Y'all, here's the messy middle. I have, over the course of my business, so many times tried to, and I'm gonna put air quotes around this, "clean up" my, my public... I'm gonna say persona, but that's not the word. That's not what I'm trying to say here. It's not about how people perceive me or who I am. It's about the body of work that I have.
I have tried very hard to make it one homogenous thing. One of the, one of the pieces of business advice that you will get if you are an entrepreneur, and by the way, this podcast is not entirely for entrepreneurs. I am gonna talk about my business, and therefore, hopefully it will be helpful for entrepreneurs, but also, I...
It will be helpful for you no matter what your goal is, because I'm gonna talk so much about my mindset and the way that I've thought about things, and I promise you, it applies to you no matter what your goal is. Here's what you will do also. You will try so hard to restrict [00:08:00] yourself, whether or not your goal is weight loss or some other, like, physical thing, or business, or gosh, navigating grief, or running a marathon, or writing a book.
Like, no matter what it is, you will try very hard to stuff yourself into a box, because there is so much advice about stuffing yourself into a box. Really specifically for entrepreneurs, we get told all the time that you have to niche down, that you have to be very clear, that you have to have one unique selling proposition, that you have to be understandable in a short snippet, that in one sentence a person needs to understand you and your business.
And I am not understandable, my friends. You cannot contain me in one sentence. I mean, you probably can. You probably can. But what I tried to do over the course of many different years was weed [00:09:00] out some of the, you know, old workout videos that didn't really fit into my one niche. I tried to weed out some of the podcasts that weren't very clear.
I have tried very hard to run my business in a way that makes it clear, and also I am at my core a lot of different things. And I think if you take away anything from this podcast, actually, I hope you take away a couple of things from this podcast. First and foremost, that you, on your way to your goal, are going to experience so much more messy middle than you want, and that it's okay, it's normal.
It happens to all of us because you are happening to yourself. The other thing that I want you to take away from this podcast is by the time I get into the story of the actual, like, burnout, self-sabotage, reinvention, evolution, et cetera. The, the p- and I said et cetera-y. I don't know what word that is.
[00:10:00] Sorry in the transcription where that does not look like an actual word. Et cetera is what I was trying to say. That there is actually a thing that I offer that I'm gonna talk about today that I am currently doing here in the messy middle of my still ongoing business to help me not burn out another time, to help me evolve myself in ways that make so much more sense and feel so much more aligned with who I am.
And the, the short answer for that one, the TLDR of that one, is that we are gonna be talking about success journaling today. We are gonna be talking about creating the capacity to have the thing that you want. The other thing that I would love for you to take away from this episode is that when you make decisions in the middle of getting to your goal, that you can make decisions in the moment that are 100% from [00:11:00] mindset blocks that you will untangle later, and that you will try really hard to spend time regretting or feeling bad about, and that doesn't really serve you.
That, in fact, only slows you down. So I can look at some of the decisions that I've made about, you know, quote unquote, "cleaning up my website" or cleaning up the podcast or trying to niche myself down, and I could get really caught up in, wow, that didn't serve me, even though I was trying to serve myself.
And also, I can move forward from here and really recognize, oh my gosh, now I see why. It's that word messy, by the way. I untangled... I am untangling a lot about how I feel about that word messy. Here's a quick podcast within a podcast. I used to see myself as a messy person, and so I tried to behave in ways that cleaned up.
Like, I tried to literally clean my house. I tried to literally [00:12:00] clean up my podcast and my website, thinking that doing the thing would help me feel different. Instead of feeling ashamed of being messy, I could do things to clean everything up so that I could feel better. And I want you to know that the thing that actually moved me through that was feeling the feeling of messy and recognizing that it was only a feeling, that it was never about who I am as a human being, and that I can actually, as a human being, be messy, because we all are.
Life is not tidy and contained and niched down and clear in one sentence or less. Life is ongoing and changeable and Messy in the very best way, and really learning how to embrace the messiness by not being afraid of feeling the feeling of messiness [00:13:00] is what has helped me move forward. In fact, it's what has helped me even create this podcast.
Really recognizing that the reason I was holding myself back from recording this podcast is because I was trying to contain it. I was trying to make it past tense. I was trying to talk about what happened as though now what I'm doing is the after. It's Pinterest perfect. It's done. It's complete. It's gonna stay the same forever.
Ta-da. And that's simply not who I am. Nothing happened to me. I did happen to myself, am currently happening to myself, and will continue for the foreseeable future, forever if I can, continue happening to myself. I see myself as a person who is willing to change, and if that really... Well, if it, A, resonates with you, or B, [00:14:00] challenges you, then my friend, you are in the right place.
Hey, let's talk about what actually happened in my business, because what I did was I kind of fell into YouTube, and here's the part where I'm still in the messy middle. Let's actually talk about that first. There are parts of this story that I haven't fully untangled and figured out and moved all the way through.
I quite literally just had a conversation with my coach where I was talking about how, oh, you know, when I burned it all down, and, you know, dramatically walked away from YouTube, and she was like, "Why do you describe it like that?" And the truth is, I don't have an answer yet. Like, it's a great question.
It's an excellent coaching question, and I'm still kind of figuring out in my mind, why do I describe it like that? Why do I think about it so dramatically? Because believe me, I do. I look back at the end of [00:15:00] 2022 when I made the decision to be complete with making exercise videos, and I feel very dramatic about that.
I feel like at the time, all I wanted to do was hide under a rock and run away and not talk about it and not think about it and not be in the middle of it at all. I had built the business that I wanted. I had asked myself to build a popular YouTube business where I got to exercise and talk and be myself, and then it felt scary and hard when I was doing it.
I had evidence that I had created exactly what I wanted, and I didn't know what to do with it. So this is the part where I'm gonna talk to you about The Daily 3 framework, which is a journaling framework that I have created to help you get your goal, [00:16:00] that there's a part of me that wishes that I would've been doing it in order to have, like, held onto the success that I created, and there's also a part of me simultaneously that absolutely sees because I do hold the self-concept that I am a person who has to go too far.
I'm a person who has to mess up. I am a person who sees myself lovingly make what I could call mistakes in order to learn from them. I am a person who reinvents the wheel. I'm a person who is resilient. I am a person who can burn it all down and learn from it. So here's the thing about The Daily 3. In order to get your goal, there are three types of journaling that can help you really rewire your brain for success instead of self-sabotage, and I want you to know that there's nothing wrong with self-sabotage.
There's nothing wrong with, quote-unquote, [00:17:00] "failure." And also, eventually, if you do want your goal, if you do want to be able to have what you want, you will want to understand how your brain works and why it wants you to stay the same and where you fall into self-sabotage and burnout. The three types of journaling that can help you get your goal.
Number one is future self, and the gist of it really truly is simply that you imagine yourself in the future with your goal, that you see it, you feel it, you smell it, you have such a reality of it that you are compelled to, in the very best way, actually create it for yourself because it feels so pleasurable.
We as human beings are always designed to move towards pleasure and away from pain. When your future self feels so pleasurable, you will inevitably [00:18:00] move towards it. And also simultaneously, you will stop yourself from moving towards it because you have mindset blocks. Shocker, you do. We all do. I definitely did and still do.
The thing that you can do to untangle your brain and move more clearly towards your goal is to do something I call metacognitive journaling, which is to say that you hear the stories that you are telling yourself, and you untangle yourself from them. Coming back to the story that I'm telling myself about burning my business down, that is probably a mindset block.
It is almost certainly a mindset block. I can feel that it's kinda sticky, kinda tricky, that I'm... when I describe myself that way as a person who burned it all down, I can feel that that's keeping me the same. It's holding me back. I can tell underneath the surface that that must be a mindset block, but I have not fully worked through that yet.
With [00:19:00] metacognitive journaling, what you do is you work through the stories that are holding you back by feeling the feelings they are creating. It's actually a simple process but is a skill that you can learn. And the third kind of journaling that rewires your brain for success is called success journaling.
The essence of it is simply that you acknowledge your success as you are having it. At some point, you will inevitably create something that you have not created f- before. Like, when you are moving towards your goal, because it is a goal, because you do not currently have it, you will, you will get to a point, and it's different for everybody, where your brain does not want to see that success.
Your brain is hardwired to, to do a couple of things. I mean, you have biological imperatives to, number one, stay alive, number two, reproduce, and number three, stay the [00:20:00] same. Your brain and your body would rather stay the same because it uses less energy. Your brain and your body are always trying to conserve energy so that you can live as long as possible, biological imperative number one.
So they don't want to change. But biological imperative number four is that you can change. One of the ways that you can change is by acknowledging your success as you create it. This really is the promise of The Daily 3, actually. The, um... If you, if you go to my website and you want to watch the free Daily 3 masterclass, one of the things that I talk about is creating the self-trust to actually follow through.
One of the things that most of us notice is that we are procrastinating in ways that we don't mean to be doing, that we really have a hard time following through. I mean, apropos of the story I told you about how hard it was for me to make this particular podcast, [00:21:00] we have mindset blocks that stop us from following through, and then when we start to follow through, start to see ourselves as a person who follows through, it's very uncomfortable.
For the longest time, I thought of myself as a procrastinator. I thought of myself as somebody who, you know, could not create the kind of success that I did create on YouTube And because I was not doing success journaling, I was not rewiring my brain to orient towards success, to be able to see myself as a person who could create success, it eventually felt so uncomfortable.
I had... Well, I had a lot of mindset blocks, actually. When I first started my YouTube, uh, business, I had, uh, I had a lot of mindset blocks. The, the ones that I'm going to enumerate, the ones really specifically that I struggled with the most, was that I used to see myself [00:22:00] as an unlikable person. I saw myself as somebody who was unpopular, somebody who didn't have friends, who couldn't make friends, who was socially awkward.
And then, over the course of creating a YouTube channel with hundreds of thousands of subscribers who told me daily, "Thank you so much for being in my living room. I feel like we're best friends." I literally called myself, you know, your best middle-aged fitness friend. Like, I was saying one thing, but feeling something else inside.
I felt unpopular even though I had evidence that I was popular with hundreds of thousands of subscribers. I felt unlikable even though people told me every single day how much they liked me. I felt like I couldn't make friends, that I was awkward and on the outside, even though I was literally calling myself your friend, and you called me your [00:23:00] friend.
That misalignment, that rub between what I was saying and what I was seeing and what I was experiencing versus what I was feeling inside, that, my friend, actually is the definition of misalignment or burnout, and it leads to self-sabotage. I know you've heard all these words, and you've probably had some idea of what they mean.
And what I want you to know is that the way that I talk about this world, this mindset world, is that your thoughts create your feelings, your feelings drive your actions, and then your actions get you a result that is a direct reflection of your original thought. Generally speaking, that thought is going to be subconscious.
What I was creating for myself, the way that I was misaligned, is [00:24:00] that I was doing things and creating things that did not actually reflect my feelings You will, on the way to your goal, almost inevitably encounter something like this. I really wanna normalize that for you. Like, as much as I tell you, "Oh, here's The Daily 3 framework, you can just have all smooth sailing towards your goal," it's not really the promise.
The promise of Daily 3 journaling and the promise of, you know, my membership and my coaching is simply to help you recognize when you are out of alignment, when you are not success journaling, when you are not metacognitive journaling, when you are not future self journaling. My goal isn't to help you make this so easy that you never struggle, you never have problems, you are never unaligned, you [00:25:00] always follow through.
My goal for you is to be able to watch yourself not following through and not judge yourself for it anymore because you have the tools to do differently. My goal for you is to see yourself self-sabotaging and burning out and burning it all down, if that's how you wanna describe it , and still pick yourself up and move forward again That, for me, is the, the happy answer to what happened to Pahla B.,
is that nothing happened to me. I happened to myself. I can see that there was self-sabotage and burnout, but I can also really clearly see and describe for you that there has been change and evolution and reinvention. And yes, I can, I can... Did you hear me roll my eyes? [00:26:00] That was so funny. If you're reading the transcript, that was almost, that was the most sarcastic can I have spoken in a while.
I can contain myself in a short description.
And I also can, that one's not sarcastic at all, there was no eye-rolling, I really can see myself as a person who can hold success and continue to create more and different success over the course of my business, of my lifetime. I think that's one of the other, that's one of the other things that I am still in the messy middle of and have untangled a good part of, is that I deeply desire change.
I think I always have. [00:27:00] I think... No, I know that I have untangled a lot of what I have told myself about being reliable and being a person who, you know, can be counted on. And I have, I have always considered the definition of that to be some version of staying the same, and I have given myself a lot of guilt and judgment about changing, about growing, evolving, changing my mind, changing how I think about things, changing how I talk about things.
I have moved through a good portion of that to the point where Gosh, I can still feel the resistance. I'm gonna tell you that I see myself as somebody who is reliable, not because I stay the same, but because I always try to offer you excellence. [00:28:00] Ooh, I can still feel that is sticky. I can still feel a little defensiveness that I should stay the same somehow in order to be reliable.
Okay, my friends, this is the messy middle, and this is... Gosh, here's a practical lesson that I really offer you. When you are saying things, you can simultaneously feel into what's going on inside your body. This is the crux of the work that I teach you how to do, that you find your thoughts and you feel whether or not they are moving t- you towards your goal.
And when you feel a misalignment, you're saying one thing that, you know, sounds good on the surface, but then what you are feeling in your body is some version of discomfort, some version of squirreliness or urgency or just something kind of yucky, then you know that you are in the middle of a mindset block.
I know that there is something about staying the same and being containable and [00:29:00] explaining myself that's still a little bit sticky and tricky. So my friend, stay tuned. What is happening to Pahla B? Stay tuned for the next chapter, for the next evolution, for the changes ahead. There have been changes.
There will be changes. I love being along your journey with you while you and I figure out this changing and goal-getting thing together. I promise you that I have some of the answers. I have a lot of tools, is actually what I have. Way more so than answers. I have tools that can help you. I have a journaling framework that can help you see yourself more clearly.
I have a coaching membership where I trust you, trust me, I trust you and I trust me to be able to ask you the kinds of questions that can help you see yourself more clearly. [00:30:00] That really is the power of having a coach on your side. A coach can ask you questions that you wouldn't think to ask yourself. I never asked myself why I describe what happened to me as burning my business down.
It's a great question. I have those too. My friend, I'm gonna leave it here. This this feels like a messy episode, and you and I are both welcome to it. There's a mess in the middle. There's success at the, gosh, not even the finish line. I mean, the literal finish line, if that is your goal, to run some kind of a race, but also all the finish lines that we have are still just a gateway to more mess in more middles in the very best way.
Thank you for coming along with me on this ride. I'll talk to you again soon. No matter where you are on your goal-getting journey, [00:31:00] I'm here to help. Get started by watching the free Daily 3 Masterclass to learn the simple journaling framework that rewires your brain for success. Move forward with confidence at your pace with one of my goal-specific guided journaling experiences.
And when you're ready for immersive exploration with fellow travelers just like you, you belong in the Get Your Goal membership. Find it all and join the adventure at getyourgoal.com.
