Hello, friend. I was thinking about you while I was out for my run today as I do, and I was thinking about, gosh, I'm really getting directly into this topic immediately without any preamble whatsoever. Okay, well. Apparently we do that sometimes. I'm not gonna tell you any personal stories. That's not true.
I will almost certainly tell you personal stories while we are talking, but I really, I have this so fresh in my mind and it's something that I don't think I have talked about before in terms of like this kind of mindset concept. And I am ready to just blurt it out. So here we go directly, immediately, straight to the topic.
I was thinking about why some goals feel so hard to get and some goals feel so easy. You've certainly heard me say before, like, if you've ever gotten any goal ever, that that can really help you because it gives you access to your specific mindset super highways. And when you are getting a goal that feels like it has more mindset [00:01:00] blocks, that is, that is the sort of goal that feels very hard to get.
Why is it that some of them are easy and some of them are hard? And I will tell you that I actually came to this concept sort of sort of around the side door. When I went out for my run. Well, when I went out for my run, I didn't have a a topic at all. At all, at all. But I am enjoying this. I'm enjoying the rejuvenated Get Your GOAL podcast so much, like, I can't even tell you.
It's hilarious to me that somebody who couldn't even get near a microphone for nearly a year is like, I'm so excited about recording a podcast. I can't wait. But I definitely think, I definitely think, here's a, here's a little bit of a tidbit. There's, there's a lot of science actually that supports that
when you tie a habit that feels like doable but difficult to a habit that you already have, that you already love, that tying the two of them together makes the habit that is doable but difficult. It makes it significantly easier. [00:02:00] I will tell you that it doesn't do anything. It simply. Kind of like what I was just saying, it gives you access to that helpful pool of thoughts.
It gives you access to those mindset super highways that if this is easy, then that can be easy too. If I do them both together, it's as simple as just doing the one. So my rejuvenated process for the Get Your Goal podcast is to go out for a run. Generally speaking, I mean, we're what, five episodes into the rejuvenated podcast? Every time
I've definitely had a topic in mind. I already had like a mental outline. It was really just kind of fleshing it out while I was running. Well, this morning when I went out from my run, I was like, am I gonna record a podcast today? I don't even have an idea yet. So, so I thought to myself, I promised myself while I was doing the Daily 3 this morning, my, my future self, I said, I may or may not record a podcast today.
At [00:03:00] the very least, I'm going to consider it. So I headed out for my run nary a topic in mind. I was like three steps in and boom. It appeared to me that I would love to talk to you about what it really takes to get your goal. I was thinking about how, I think most people come to goals believing that they set the goal, they pick a strategy, and then they just follow the strategy until they get the goal.
And that's not wrong, but it's also not the entirety of it. And while I was kind of going through what I wanted to talk to you about, like the hard part about getting a goal is seeing yourself like both, well it's always figuratively, but, but seeing yourself in your imagination with the goal and then seeing yourself as the kind of
person who can get the goal and then really truly [00:04:00] stepping into being the person who has the goal. And so I wanted to talk to you about like what that takes and you know, why the Daily 3 actually helps you do that. So let me tell you that part really quickly. The Daily 3, it's my free, uh. It's my free process.
It's a framework for journaling that I offer a full masterclass on. There's a link in the show notes that can take you directly to the masterclass. The essence of the Daily 3 is that there are three types of journaling that help you get to your goal. There's all kinds of journaling that feels amazing.
I mean, there's gratitude journaling, bullet journaling, creative journaling, vent journaling. I'm sure there are other forms. Oh, self-reflection. Duh. I know that one. There are other kinds of journaling that feel amazing and can like sort of obliquely help you get to your goal. But the three types that are really truly focused on goal getting, number one is future self journaling.
That is seeing yourself in your imagination, both getting your goal and having [00:05:00] your goal. The ability to picture it in one manner or another, or describe it or feel the essence of it. Without that, you honestly cannot make progress towards it. Your brain really needs GPS. Your brain really needs to see some version of the finished product to be able to get that thing.
Think about it this way. I'm getting into the weeds, but I love to do that. Think about it this way. You know when you need to go to, for example, the grocery store. I'm, this is on my mind today. I'm out of milk. I need to go to the grocery store. I would not be able to get in the car, drive to the grocery store and get the milk
if I wasn't able to on some level, imagine myself doing that, like as I'm saying the words right now, I'm picturing it. I'm picturing myself getting in the car. I'm picturing myself driving to the store because it's something that I do all the time. I'm picturing myself. I can see the milk in the [00:06:00] milk case at the store that I always go to.
Being able to imagine in one manner or another and feel the feeling of, for me specifically, I use milk every morning in my breakfast. So the relief of having that available to me so that I know I can eat breakfast because I am always hungry for breakfast. So for me, being able to picture that and feel the feelings of it is the thing, it's the mechanism that's actually gonna, I'm gonna say drive me, but not literally send me to the grocery store today.
Being able to imagine and feel your goal is the mechanism that helps you get there. Then the second part of the Daily 3 is metacognitive journaling. This is something that I think a lot of people really don't talk about, or if they do, they kind of tell you to to muscle through your mindset blocks.
Oh, just stop doing this or [00:07:00] start thinking positively. The truth of it is there are some thoughts that you have in your brain that are so emotionally resonant that you can't just squash them out. This really is why some goals feel so hard, or it's one of the reasons why some goals feel so hard is because you have so much socialization, so much thinking, and not even negative thinking.
Let's, here. Let's get into the weeds on that. It's not really that your thoughts are good or bad. It's not that your thoughts are positive or negative. You have thoughts that are creating feeling, 'cause all your thoughts create feelings. You have thoughts that are creating feelings that feel uncomfortable in your body.
Your brain is hardwired to seek pleasure and avoid pain or discomfort. The discomfort of your uncomfortable feelings is why your thoughts some of them are mindset blocks. You think the thought. Your [00:08:00] body doesn't want to feel the feeling, and so you avoid that thought and that feeling by behaving in ways that are counter in, not counterintuitive, but counter to your goals.
Finding those unhelpful thoughts. The thoughts that create uncomfortable feelings is the essence of metacognitive journaling. You find the unhelpful thought and you feel the uncomfortable feeling. That breaks the bond of the emotional resonance of that thought so that you can release your mindset blocks and find your mindset superhighways.
The third part of the Daily 3 is success journaling. This is the part that I think is for me, for me, it's definitely the most important part because it's something that we don't naturally do. Your brain and my [00:09:00] brain, have negativity bias. This is something that people have known for a very long time.
We are more inclined to see the negative part of something, and here's why. It's because of the emotional resonance. When you start to ask yourself to see what's going right, to see that you are following through, to see legitimately that you are making progress you help rewire your brain away from negativity bias, and into success bias.
Negativity bias is our natural default, but it doesn't have to be the way your brain thinks. You can create on purpose mindset superhighways by seeing your success, by seeing your progress, by seeing [00:10:00] that you can trust yourself to follow through, that you can trust yourself to create what you want, that you can trust yourself to have what you want.
The three types work together in a way that any one of them yes, is helpful. For years. I mean, literally years and years I did almost exclusively metacognitive journaling. I don't think I've told you this story before. I don't think I've told you why I created the Daily 3. If I have, I apologize, but if I haven't, I apologize anyway, because it's a funny story.
I, as a goal getting journaling coach have gotten many goals. I am a goal getting girl and am really struggling with my current one and we're gonna get to that part of the story in just a little bit, or that part of the concept in just a little bit. But the thing that I was really struggling with is the success journaling.
I really, really struggled to [00:11:00] acknowledge my success and I watch almost every client I've ever worked with ever also have this same struggle. I mean, again, we're hardwired for negativity bias. Rewiring your brain so that it can see progress takes concerted effort. And so this was the thing that I was like, okay, I occasionally do Future Self journaling like
that was definitely a, a once in a while sort of a thing. I did my metacognitive journaling every day. Metacognitive journaling feels very easy to me. I mean, I wrote an entire book about metacognitive journaling. I love digging into my mindset blocks. I find it weirdly, I find it really pleasurable. I have found that it really has helped me move through, so, so
many thoughts that I had about myself and my lot in life and what I could have. I, I have found so many things and it has moved me so far forward, but I couldn't see that because I wasn't doing the success journaling. And, [00:12:00] and even though, even though I've had the, the thought in my mind, you know, I've written down my goals, I've had dream boards, vision boards, I've I, I know where I'm going with my business success
and also in a very real sense, I struggle to imagine it. I struggle with that. And so I asked myself essentially, what's the least I can do here? Like, how can I make this easy for myself? Kind of like tying the podcast into my running, like, how can I make myself do this without making myself do this? Because willpower, willpower will only get me so far.
How can I make this pleasurable? How can I tie this into something that I already wanted to do that I already enjoyed doing, so that it gets done every day in the the minimum viable way? Because I know, I mean, here's what I have absolutely learned through metacognitive journaling for years. You don't need to do a lot.
You really [00:13:00] don't. Trying to sit down and journal for hours and hours every day while it may feel good again, don't ever hear that wrong, like you're doing it wrong if that is what you enjoy doing. That's not a problem, but also, it's not going to solve your problems in one day. Journaling is ongoing. It's just like brushing your teeth or I was gonna say making your bed, but lots of people don't do that.
I just happen to like a made bed. So I make my bed every day. I do my dishes every day. Like there are things that I just love to do every day. There's an amount of cleanliness that I enjoy every day. There's also an amount that I will let go for a very long time. Ask me when was the last time I dusted and I couldn't even tell you.
In any event, in any event, I ask myself, what is the easiest way I can do this? And I already had a writing habit. There's a website that I go to, it's called 750 words, and it's the number seven five zero seven hundred and fifty words, and it's [00:14:00] essentially gamification of a writing habit. It's morning pages where you log into this website and you spew out 750 words.
Did I say 750 pages? I apologize. I'm talking, it's morning pages, but the title of the website is 750 Words. I don't know what I said. In any event, you spew out 750 words. I had been doing this for like a little while, but it's super fun because they show you check marks and it's got a streak and it shows you how many days you've written in a row.
And you know how brains love that. We love to string things together. It's why your Fitbit gets you, you know, tracking every day. Or your Apple Watch helps you close the rings every day. Like there are certain things that your brain just loves to do. We love to close the loop. We love to tie things together.
So I was already in the mind of having a little bit of [00:15:00] time to myself every morning to write. Tying my Daily 3 practice, which didn't have a name at the time, but tying my Daily 3 practice into that writing habit made it basically a no brainer for me. It was so simple to just ask myself to do one minute of future self journaling, about three minutes of metacognitive journaling.
I like to say that one because I think for a lot of people, the feeling your feelings part feels like a real barrier. I mean, you're legitimately asking yourself to feel an uncomfortable feeling. So I like to put a little time parameter on it personally because it reminds me, oh yeah, this doesn't have to take forever.
I mean, the, the conventional wisdom is that it takes 90 seconds to feel a feeling. I will tell you that that is an average because I have definitely had feelings that have lasted for many, many minutes that felt like they were gonna last forever. And I have had some that have dissipated in. [00:16:00] Like, like a shooting star.
Just an absolute flash in the pan. Super quick. A minute and a half is an average. I like to give myself the three minutes just in case I find something kind of deeply uncomfortable. The, the timeframe really doesn't matter, like, honestly, don't get, don't get bogged down by the, the details of the Daily 3.
It really is about the framework of making sure that you're doing those three different types of journaling, not that you're timing yourself or doing it a specific way, or it all has to be in the morning, or you have to, you know, tie it into your regular writing practice. None of that matters. Honestly, none of that matters.
The details don't matter. What matters is that you do it for the purpose of getting your goal and that you enjoy it enough that you can ask yourself to do it regularly. It's all about intention. It's all about intention. It doesn't matter what you do, it matters how you feel. Anyways. Anyways, I think I finished my story about how I [00:17:00] created the Daily 3 because I wasn't doing it myself, and then I started doing it and I'm really enjoying diving into why each of the parts work.
Like I've understood future self journaling for a long time. I, I used to be pretty good at it. I'm definitely great at it for some things, like I can see myself getting my running goals very easily. I actually had a pretty easy time seeing myself writing my book, actually not the writing of the book. I could vision envision having a published book.
Like holding a book in my hands felt very easy to picture. The actual writing of it much more difficult to picture and therefore much more difficult to do. The other, other goals that I've gotten, I mean my business goals in general. Actually, you know what was really easy for me, it was really easy for me to picture getting my a hundred thousand subscribers goal for, uh, or the plaque from YouTube.
[00:18:00] Man, I had that on my vision board and I saw that in my brain very easily. This is part of what feels kind of hard about having a revenue goal in a business is because it's digital numbers on a screen like it's money in the bank, it kind of feels like monopoly money. It kind of feels amorphous and it is one of the things that I am untangling for myself about having a business goal is that it's not as visceral
and visual as a running goal or writing a book goal. It feels less tangible and therefore more difficult to envision. I was going someplace else with that. The story of the Daily 3... . oh, diving into the science of why they work anyway, I love, I love understanding why future self journaling works.
I love understanding why metacognitive journaling works about breaking the emotional resonance of thoughts that are holding you back so that you can make room [00:19:00] for thoughts that move you forward. It's not about positivity or negativity, it's about mindset blocks and mindset super highways. The thing about success journaling, and this is really
the point of what I wanted to talk to you about today, success journaling is about identity work. This really is the essence of why some goals feel very easy to get, and some goals feel very difficult to get. If you think of your goal as something you have never done before. I like to call it the never have I ever game.
The never have I ever goal means that you are going to, I'm gonna say have to. You know what? Just hear that for what it is. If you want the goal, there are steps that you will want to take, and one of them is the untangling of your identity. When you see yourself, for example, as [00:20:00] a person who has never written a book, a person who has never been able to run, a person who has never been good at business, a person who has never been a healthy weight or never been able to keep the weight off, or always had a weight problem or never been good at whatever.
When you use those always and never words and you use them to describe yourself as though that is the person you are, like a character trait, the essence of you as opposed to an action you've taken before or not taken before, which by the way is what it is. This is something we all do. Just here's a quick note to the side.
We, all of us identify ourselves through our repeated actions. We create concepts, self-concepts of who [00:21:00] we are based on what we do. This is why when you do something repeatedly, you start hearing yourself say something like, I am, the one that comes to mind very, very easily for me is I am a runner. I run repeatedly.
I have for, we talked about last week, nearly 19 years, on September 14th, it will be 19 years since I ran my first, uh, I would think it was a whole mile. Well, okay, it was maybe a mile. But that was the day that I, that was the day I said I ran. I did not call myself a runner for, oh gosh, quite a while after that.
I've told that story recently too. In any event, something that we do repeatedly is something that we say about ourselves as a self concept. I am, and then fill in the blank. If you see yourself as a person [00:22:00] who has never done the thing that you want for your goal your work is untangling who you think you are right now as a person without that goal and stepping into the person who has that goal.
Now this is why actually it was really easy for me to lose weight. I had gained and lost weight a million times. Losing weight wasn't hard for me. So getting the goal of attaining my goal weight, it kind of kind of didn't feel like a big deal, but the identity work as a person who could keep it off, that was where all the untangling came in.
When I wrote my book, if you listen to really old episodes of the Get Your Goal podcast, you will hear in the intro. I called myself a soon to be author, and my friend called me out on that. She was like, Uhuh, you are writing a book. You're an [00:23:00] author. That is identity work. It was so hard for me. I, on the one hand, had
could like see myself as an author. I wrote my first, you know, little book when I was seven years old. It was a complete ripoff. I feel like I've told this story before too. It was a complete ripoff of the Moomintroll books. I just, I wrote, you know, a little basically fan fiction novel about them. And I was seven, by novel
what I mean is it was probably about three pages. But the point is, I had to untangle the, the concept of myself as not being an author. I could see myself as a writer. I could see myself as somebody who wanted to write a book. I could kind of picture having the book in my hands, but calling myself an author felt so hard for me.
It felt so official. It felt, I'm hearing it right now in my brain. This is hilarious. Ah, it felt professional. Oh my gosh. [00:24:00] Okay, don't mind me i'm just having a little moment here where I'm hearing why that was so hard. That was something I haven't untangled. And to be very clear, it's why I'm struggling to get started on my second book.
I know I wanna write a second book, and this is actually where I was going with this. So here's the thing, you might have done something once. But you're struggling to like hang onto that or do it again. Be the kind of person who can repeat that. That's where the identity work comes in. Yes, I'm an author, but am I an author of more than one book?
Do I have the capacity to see myself with more than one book? And that my friends is where my work is. And it might be where your work is too. I've not necessarily said it on the podcast, but I have said in my own brain, anybody can run one marathon. Anybody can do something once. The capacity work of [00:25:00] seeing your success and untangling your old identity and stepping into your new identity, your new self concept, the new I am a person who statement that you hear in your head. My friend
that's the real work of getting a goal, and it sounds kind of big, right? Like I'm listening to this thinking, man, this could sound really overwhelming. This is why the Daily 3 is what I offer you freely, both literally, figuratively, metaphorically, all the things. I offer you the Daily 3, because honestly it's, there's no reason to put it behind a paywall.
It is. It is information that is out there. It is my personal intellectual property. It is my framework, but I want you to have it. I want you to make it yours. That's why it's a framework. I want you to, I want you to find the minimum viable for you. I want you to tie it in with a habit that already makes [00:26:00] sense for you.
I want you to squish it and mold it and make it your own so that you can get your goal. Like way more than wanting to hide that behind a paywall, I want you to be successful. Because here's the thing, having the, what sounds like a strategy, having the steps to doing it isn't the answer. It's not. Coming back to where we started.
We all think that once we have the strategy, that we just follow the steps. It's the untangling, it's the hearing what you're currently saying to yourself and having the, the support, the community, the coaching, to step into your new self-concept. Let me tell you about something that happened to me very recently on my way to my goal.
I have a revenue goal, a business goal, a success goal that I am working towards right now, and the [00:27:00] untangling of, I am a person who can only make a certain amount of money has been so much more fraught than I thought it was gonna be. It's so fascinating to me how long I've been working on money stuff and business stuff for the amount of success that I have, for the amount of success that I have created, the amount of money that I've made, the size of the business that I have been able to grow, the success, the acumen, like.
I, I legitimately feel like I am good at business. I legitimately feel like I am a woman who can make as much money as I want to, and, and the untangling of being a girl who can't make money, of being a girl who's dumb at business, of being a girl who can't [00:28:00] handle money, who can't have money, who can't keep money, who always has to spend money.
It's been such a fascinating ride. And I am doing this work too. The Daily 3 has, the Daily 3 has changed my life in so many ways. Like asking myself to see myself with my goal every day, asking myself to see the progress. I am watching myself just untangle things and stepping into a new self-concept.
This is what, and I'm gonna say I put behind a paywall. It's because the really hard work comes from having somebody else witness it with you. You can do it for yourself. Let me offer you that right away. You can. In your own journal, with your own coaching, your own self support, you can do this [00:29:00] and it is not
easier with support, but it is clearer. I've been working on, I've been working on this self-concept of seeing myself as a successful woman for a while. My coach recently pointed out to me that I already am the person I'm going to be when I have the revenue goal that I desire. And I, being confronted with that was how it felt,
seeing that, that it really is me. That I don't have to actually change who I am, that I get to be me. I get to be weird, wonderful Pahla, and have what I want, almost sent me into a cave. In fact, it did send me into a [00:30:00] metaphorical, an emotional cave for like about a week and a half at this point. I I really struggle with this identity work. Having somebody else hold your hand and help you see the vision of yourself
as your most successful version of you, whatever success you want, whether that is working through your grief, whether that is, whether that is writing a book, whether that is running a race, whether that is starting a business or losing weight, or whatever your goal is. Having somebody else help you hold
that vision, helping you see that you are making progress, helping you untangle. I said those in the wrong order, but basically having another person or people a group like the Get Your GOAL group. A coach. Having somebody help you with the Daily 3 [00:31:00] pieces is so freaking valuable. It's why I do what I do.
I love helping you hold the vision. I love helping you either do this yourself or help you with the guided journaling products that I have or help you inside the Get Your Goal membership. This work is valuable. How you do it, the specifics of it couldn't matter less. It's why I give you the Daily 3 for free. Doing the work, holding the space,
that's where the real work is. That is what it really takes to get your goal. That is what we do here, the big here, here on the podcast here in my world. Here, here. Creating your new but [00:32:00] still you identity as the person who has your goal is how you get your goal. That feels like such a mic drop moment. So I'm gonna mic drop.
I'm gonna drop the mic. Oh man, that would've been better if I would've said it correctly. And there we are my friends. Weird. Wonderful. Me. On my way to getting my goal. You, being you, feeling your best, untangling the things that don't serve you, and stepping in to being the person who has what you want.
It's yours to have my love. Thank you so much for listening today. I'll talk to you again soon.
