Welcome to the Get Your Goal podcast, the place where ambitious, deep-thinking women chart their own course, exploring the mindset, emotions, and daily practices that help you get your goal your way by being unapologetically you. I'm your host, Pahla B, master certified life and goal coach and creator of the Daily 3 journaling framework.
On this podcast, you'll learn to navigate your unique path to success by using the most powerful tool in your kit, your own internal compass. Ready for the adventure? Let's go. Hello friend. Today we are talking about the six essential milestones that you're going to hit on your goal getting journey, and what I hope for you from this episode is that you hear today as a gigantic permission slip to be exactly where you are on your journey.
I know sometimes I used to, back in the day, I used to click on podcasts [00:01:00] and videos and, and stuff like this with, you know, like, "Oh, here are the milestones that you're going to hit." And for me personally, there was always a little bit of pressure, internal pressure, to w- want to be further along or to, you know, find myself on step one of the podcaster's journey that they were talking about, which I actually do think that a lot of you are going to identify at step one, which is why I'm even telling you this story.
To identify myself at step one of the other person's journey that they were talking about, and then be like, "Oh my gosh, there's so much more ahead of me," in a bad way. What I want for you today is to hear this as, like I said, permission slip for you to be exactly where you are, and an inkling, in some ways, of like what could be ahead of you in the best way.
I, I know that on so many parts of my [00:02:00] journey, I thought that I had gone as far as a person could go, and I didn't like where I was, and so therefore, that also felt terrible. In fact, you're gonna hear... I'm gonna tell you stories today, and you're going to hear how very awful I have felt at, at so many of these steps in ways that I hope you can identify with.
I love to be fully transparent about my journey, that it doesn't all feel like getting licked by kittens. It's not all easy. It's not all straightforward, and step one and step two. In fact, foreshadowing, you're going to hear me talk about how some of these steps do not come in a linear manner, and that your journey is going to be your own.
So what we're really talking about today, the milestones that I'm talking about, are of course journaling milestones, like self-awareness, journaling milestones that you will meet on your goal getting journey to get whatever goal you want. I, I was gonna be more specific [00:03:00] about it, as I occasionally am here.
This is, this is today's podcast within the podcast. Hi. If you're new around here, I almost never have just a single straightforward solo topic podcast. I very frequently get distracted off on a side topic that I then deeply want to, like, connect with you about and tell you about, so here it is today I have been thinking a lot about having podcasts that talk very specifically about, like, here's how to write a book, or here's how to run a marathon, or here's how to lose weight for the last time and maintain it by making total peace with your menopausal body.
Here's how to navigate through grief and still be a goal-getting person. Here's how to start and have the business of your dreams. Like, I have expertise in these. I have, uh, self-guided journaling experiences that can help you through the very specific kinds of mindset roadblocks you will find on your way to those very specific [00:04:00] goals, and there's a part of me that's also like, "Okay, but I talk about all of those goals because one goal is kind of every goal.
The journey is always gonna be the same. I'm the kind of person who teaches you that understanding and healing yourself is the path to your goal, that it's not really about what you're doing for the very specific goal." And also, there's a part of me, 'cause there's, you know, many, many parts of me, many parts of my brain all having conversations with one another, that's like, "Okay, but, like, for SEO practices or for people doing, like, Google searches, how will they ever find me?"
And I've come to the conclusion that you will find me, that you have. That's why you're here. So yes, sometimes I mention specific goals. Sometimes I don't. This is an ongoing journey that I am on in my own self-awareness and understanding of who I want to be as a businesswoman out in the world and how I wanna talk about things.
And as of this writing, which is not writing, it's speaking, as of this podcast, I [00:05:00] am continuing to talk about goal-getting in the broad and sort of generic sense Because I am, and I'll figure that out more. Anyway, hey, here are the six essential milestones that you will have on your understanding yourself and being, gosh, a complicated woman with ambitious goals and a busy brain, and something that just feels completely unreasonable to you that you want for yourself for reasons that aren't always clear.
So here's milestone number one, is wanting to journal at all. If you are not new around here, you have heard me probably tell some parts of my journaling story, that I've been journaling forever, that I had, you know, my first diary with the little gold key and the lock back when I was, I think, seven or eight years old.
And I journaled and diaried kind of off and on through my 20s, for sure, [00:06:00] and probably I would even say with, I'm gonna call it some regularity, but not really, it was sporadic at best, through my very early 30s. And then in my early 30s, I, I had a lot going on, like, all over the course of just a couple of years, that I never saw when I was in the middle of it, but I knew on some level that it was really hard, that I had just had two kids back to back, my grandfather had died, my mom had gotten diagnosed with breast cancer, my sister had gotten divorced.
These are not in actual chronological order, but over the course of a couple of years. My husband had, um, gotten his discharge from the military, which was a job that he thought he was going to have as a career for his entire life. So he was kind of in a tailspin of, "Oh, my gosh, now what am I gonna do?" He was working at a job that he absolutely hated, on his weird to, on his way to a career that he ended up loving, thank goodness.[00:07:00]
But we were in just a, like, kind of a, a weird part of life in my early 30s, where I, I had so much, like, agony in my brain, and journaling wasn't cutting it. Like, the, "Dear diary, here's what happened today," I couldn't even get it all out. So I just stopped, which is kind of ironic. I mean, you know, it's funny how we stop doing the one thing that will likely help us feel better when we feel the most terrible, which is why I, which is why I'm sharing this story.
That if you are not journaling right now, that, A, it's completely okay, and, B, yeah, I understand. Like, I understand what it's like. I don't know if you're a gamer. I'm laughing, sorry. But I, if you are a gamer, you understand the expression of rage quitting that when something doesn't seem like it's going your way, then you just, you know, exit to desktop.
I'm done. I'm done with this game. [00:08:00] I really only play one game. I play Stardew Valley. I just started playing it, like, less than a year ago. I'm, I'm having a great time with it. I've never been a PC gamer before. My husband has been playing, has been playing games on his desktop since he was a literal child.
His dad worked for IBM when he was a kid, so he had a, he had a computer in his home when he was a child in the '80s, in a way that I had my first computer when I was a married woman in the late '90s. But anyway, so my kids grew up playing PC games. I have just started playing my first one, and I finally understand that expression of rage quitting.
So when I was in my early 30s, I completely rage quit of all journaling and did not pick up a pen for the purpose of journaling for 15 years. After having been doing it for, somebody help me math, from age seven-ish until sometime in my early 30s, I didn't journal at all, not even one single word anywhere, [00:09:00] for 15 years.
Until, until... Well, s- really specifically what happened was my sister died, and I was utterly beside myself. And interestingly, instead of being in that place of absolute inner turmoil, where I wanted to quit doing the things that could help me, I actually had a teeny, tiny glimmer of knowing, without knowing what to do with it and without knowing where to go with it and without actually doing anything, but knowing that maybe journaling could help.
So what this looked like on, like, an external level was that I was not journaling at all. Like, there was no pen, there was no paper, there was, there was nothing that looked like any kind of a diary. But I was starting to watch some YouTube videos. I listened to some, like, guided meditations on, you know, how to [00:10:00] see yourself, how to understand yourself, the journey inward, those kinds of things.
I read a couple of self-help books. I had an inkling, and I think I talked about this a little bit in my book, Mind Over Menopause, where I, I wanted, I wanted to move through my grief, and at the time, and this sounds like a really weird connection, but I promise you, this is truly why I think one goal is every goal.
I really thought that what would help me f- through my grief was to build a successful business and make money. That I, I really felt like the thing that I wanted for myself was that business and making money and that that would help me feel like myself again while I was in the middle of all this grief.
So I went looking for resources that could help me I didn't even articulate it like this, though, honestly. I did not articulate it as I wanna understand myself, I wanna heal myself, I want [00:11:00] to... I, I don't even think I even used the word goal at the time. I'm sure I did for running, but probably not even really for business, and definitely not for grief.
So I went looking for people who were talking about, like, how to make money, how to be good at business, and what I found was the self-help podcast of the Life Coach School. And that is what brought me on my journey from milestone number one, wanting to journal at all, but not currently doing it at all, to milestone n- number two, which is understanding what I could potentially get from journaling.
I hear with some frequency from a, a large part of my audience that they don't quite get what the connection is between journaling and getting, like, a three-dimensional goal. Like, they don't quite understand how understanding [00:12:00] yourself and healing yourself and knowing yourself can help you get your goal, and I totally understand what that feels like, because I was there too.
I will tell you that the connection, and I've got, I've got some podcasts on it. They're, they're pretty old. The connection between the two feels vague and difficult to explain until you start to see it work for yourself, and I really apologize for saying it like that. And also, I'm gonna stand by it and leave it there, because a deeper conversation about that isn't quite where I'm going today.
I'm giving you the milestones. Here's what it looked like for me personally. I listened to that podcast for about six months before I joined Brooke Castillo's membership. Once I joined the membership, I went from, like, having a vague idea of, okay, maybe I could journal, to starting to connect the [00:13:00] dots with how journaling and understanding yourself can help you get your goals by helping you move through your mindset blocks.
I didn't understand exactly what my mindset blocks were. I didn't understand exactly how it would work, like mechanically, like what that would look like and how that, the pieces would all fall together, but I started to see it. That is potentially where you might be right now, is you're starting to see the dots connecting.
For me personally, what sped up this part of my journey was joining the membership, was being able to have access to other people. Like, hands down, for me, one of the best ways that I learn is by being a lurker. You, you are welcome to be far more active in your learning journey, but one of the things that I do is I really watch other people.
It's why I'm so [00:14:00] glad for YouTube on every level. I mean, not just my own, like, career success, but, like, it is so helpful for me to watch other people doing a thing that I would like to do, and specifically in a, a membership, even more so than, like, watching one person on YouTube or listening to one person who has a podcast like me talking about my story.
Having a real variety of stories makes m- much more sense, I'm gonna say faster. Like, because you have so much access to seeing so many different people at so many different places on their journey, for me, that was profoundly helpful to see other people doing journaling and mindset work and seeing what some of them were getting out of it, seeing what some of them...
I mean, for me, I, I really think it's easier to see somebody else's mindset blocks than your own. Like, this is [00:15:00] one of the biggest benefits of being, belonging to some kind of a group where people are talking about their mindset work. When somebody else blurts out their mindset block and does not see it for themselves, it can be so glaringly obvious to you as a witness because you're not inside their brain.
Inside somebody else's brain, they've got all their own stories. They've got all their own evidence. They've got all the charts and graphs saying, "This particular thing that I am thinking about myself has to be true because..." But of course, it's not true. It's simply a mindset block So understanding what you can potentially get from journaling is this fantastic milestone where you are probably still not really journaling.
For me personally, I was, I was, I'm gonna call it awkward journaling. Like, I look back, I don't very frequently look back at my very old journals, but every once in a while, like when I, when I moved into my office somewhat recently, a couple of months ago, [00:16:00] I was rearranging things in my bookshelves, and so I, I found a couple of really old journals, and oh, man, I did not know what I was doing or how I was doing it, and I love that for both you and for me.
If this is the milestone where you are right now, I promise you that your awkward journaling is getting you where you want to go. Maybe not right this second, maybe not with the way you're doing it right this second, but that, that phase of being willing to put any pen to any paper, even if you're not actually putting pen to paper, because the other thing that I'll tell you is that I was only journaling on paper maybe, maybe once a month, maybe.
But I was starting to journal a little bit in my head. I was starting to hear a little bit, like consciously hear what I was telling myself, and I was starting to have some glimmer that what I was telling myself wasn't the truth or a [00:17:00] fact, but was, in fact, simply a story, and that story was either gonna take me where I wanted to go or it wasn't, and maybe I could do something about that.
Like, this part, this milestone number two, is all about potential and almost not at all about actually implementing or doing any of it So now these next three milestones, I'm gonna tell you, I have listed them separately, but they come together in a way that is not linear. Like, uh, I know that when we're talking about milestones, it's supposed to be this beautiful journey from A to Z that all just falls in place, and I have never, ever been on any kind of actual journey...
Okay, maybe. Like, going to the grocery store, I suppose. But, like, any meaningful journey that did not have some kind of weird glop in the middle of it, and [00:18:00] this is the glop in the middle. So milestone number three, I'm gonna tell you all three of them, and then we're gonna talk about it. Milestone number three is journaling with a little bit of consistency.
Milestone number four is getting some small wins, and milestone number five is making it mine. So here's the thing. I get asked a lot about how to journal with consistency, like how to get consistent with any kind of a practice. I- and not necessarily journaling, like any kind of anything. Like, how do you get consistent with the tasks that you want to be doing on your way to getting your goal?
You know, like sitting your butt in the chair and actually writing or, you know, making social media posts if you're running your business or, you know, actually thinking about your own internal story about grief and who you'd like to be as you move through it or thinking about what you'd like to do for weight loss.
Like, whatever it is that you want to be doing, you've heard your entire life that getting consistent is the way to get there, and what I want you to know, that [00:19:00] getting consistent is not something that exists in a vacuum. You don't just get consistent. You get consistent in a way that makes sense because you have some glimmer that what you're doing is making sense and getting you where you wanna go, and also, you've had just enough of that awkward practice with it that it's starting to feel a little bit more like you.
It's starting to feel like it fits into your day. It's starting to feel like it has your language, like it has your texture, like it has your flavor in a way that That is not something that I can tell you to do. Like, that is really the tricky part about being a mentor, is that I can take you right up to that and say, "Yep, make it your own."
But then the your own part is, I mean, [00:20:00] it's right there. It, it's, it's yours. The getting consistent for me personally, this is, this is the time when I was starting to get a little bit consistent, when I was starting to get some wins, and I was starting to make it mine. This was the part where I actually started having...
I started having like what you would consider a ton of outward success. I didn't see it that way in my own brain. Like, full transparency, love, you are going to have periods of time on your way to getting your goal where other people will be remarking constantly to your face, "Oh my gosh, you've had so m- so much success.
Look at you. You're really doing it." You might even have your goal, but there will be a part of you that doesn't really see it that way. It takes a while for your brain to catch up, and that really is that, that whole getting some wins thing. This is why I offer you in The Daily 3 my journaling framework, that looking for your wins intentionally can help you move [00:21:00] through this part of your journey, where you're getting some wins, you're getting a little bit of consistency, you're making it your own.
This is when I had a ton of success on my old YouTube channel with my exercise videos. This is when I got a book deal. This is when I was growing in every way in my business. And gosh, at that same time, I mean, that's when I was doing, like, a lot of ultramarathons. I, I had a lot of, I had a lot of good things going on in my life in ways that, that I didn't see at the time and would not have articulated to you the way that I am right now.
Because what's gonna happen here, and I do not list it as an official milestone, but what's gonna happen here is that you're going to feel like you are in the muddle in the middle. Some parts of it are gonna be really, really clear, and some parts of it are not. [00:22:00] And it is not a milestone that I have listed here officially because I hope it is not a milestone on your journey.
This is where a lot of people quit. This is where the consistency and the getting some wins and the making it your own can feel a little overwhelming, and that's what I really wanna normalize for you here. It's what I- it's what we do here on the podcast. We talk about how it can feel to be getting what you want and not entirely recognizing it Here's what this looked like for me personally.
So I was having a lot of success. This is when I actually created my own intellectual property of the two-step tool, which is the precursor to The Daily 3. If you do choose to read my book, Mind Over Menopause, I stand by it. It's good stuff. It is also an early version of what I teach now in a way that might be a little bit more where you are now.
This is the great thing [00:23:00] about having such a public record of where I have been, is that every place that I have been on my journey might be kind of where you are now, and I think that all of it could be helpful for you. And I would love for you to see that, like, your journey through that lens also.
Wherever you are is, A, exactly where you are, and B, if you do choose to use it to help other people, every place you've ever been has been and will be helpful. So here's the thing. I wrote the book. I created the two-step tool. I started really hearing what I had to say about the things that I had heard. I wasn't just parroting what my mentor had taught me.
I wasn't just going through the motions and using tools that I had been taught. I was starting to really [00:24:00] manipulate them and move them around in my own brain and see which parts made the most sense for me and which parts I didn't quite- vibe with, for lack of a better way of saying it. There was always a part of me that understood...
I mean, there was a part of me that was so grateful for what I learned from Brooke Castillo in The Model. I had never, ever heard it put like that, even though it's, um, it's really common knowledge. I just never heard it that way before. I mean, it is cognitive behavioral therapy in a nutshell. It is, it is using the your thoughts create your feelings, which drive your actions, which give you a result that is a direct reflection of your original thought.
That is common knowledge, but I had never heard it before. So for me, it felt like a door that just, that opened me up to every opportunity in the world. I had never, ever understood why I would come to my journal or what I could get out of it until I heard that. And [00:25:00] then I, in my own way, took it a little bit further than that because I needed to understand, and I needed to, for myself, because of who I am as a human being, I needed to create a routine that was repeatable and made sense and also really flexible.
So the first inkling of that was the two-step tool, which is essentially just metacognitive journaling. It, it, it's very much a, a variation on Brooke Castillo's The Model theme. What I have done since then, making it even more mine, understanding even more about who I am as a human being and what helps me move through and get even more consistent and get even more wins and make it even more mine, is that I have massaged my own process a couple of times.
And the way that it looks now with The Daily 3 is that it is, to me, the simplest, most concise, [00:26:00] routinized version of what I have been doing sloppily and awkwardly and weirdly and without a lot of success and inconsistently, and now I'm capable of doing it consistently and with more success more often my own way.
The three milestones of journaling with a little bit of consistency, getting some wins, and making it your own go together like a lather, rinse, and repeat until you come here to milestone number six, which is where I believe I am right now, having complete trust that my journaling is the best way for me to get what I want, that my journaling is bringing me exactly what I want, and that I am the one creating my goals Where I am on my [00:27:00] journaling and mindset and feelings practice and self-awareness journey is that I see what I'm doing as being the right answer for me.
And I think that this is what I want for you in a way that might feel, depending on where you are, depending on what milestone you're at right now, might feel unreachable, might feel like only something that other people can ever get, or might be exactly where you are. Like, hold the phone, maybe, maybe after all those years of telling yourself that you're not doing it right, that this is difficult, that you don't know, that you have to do it somebody else's way or else it's not the right way, maybe you are here. I offer all of this to you as something [00:28:00] that you can use as not really a map because there is a, a weird glut in the middle as these things do, but as a way to see your journey that helps you see yourself as the hero of your journey, that you are hitting milestones, that you are inevitably getting to your goal, that you are doing all the things in your own right time in a way that really deeply serves you.
You do not have to be journaling every day in order to be doing it correctly. For me personally, I always kinda wanted to be. I always had an inkling that being that kind of consistent, having that kind of a routine was gonna feel deeply satisfying to me. I, I love having a routine that I enjoy. I do [00:29:00] not having a, love having a routine that feels like a burden or that feels like somebody else's schedule or f- that feels like what somebody else wants from me or for me or at me.
I love having certain things that I simply know are going to happen every single day because I'm the one who makes them happen. For me, one of those things is journaling. I love, love, love, love the way I ask myself to journal. I love, love, love that I can see every single day that I am making progress because I ask myself to see that I am making progress.
I love where I am and how I feel zero urgency to make my way fit in with what somebody else has taught me. Now, I will tell you, as your mentor, as your life coach, if you do ever decide to, like, use what [00:30:00] you have learned and what you do to help other people, this part will be very hard for you. This part will be like, "Okay, I taught you this thing, and I handed it to you, and then, and then you went and made it your own?
What?" It is deeply satisfying and also a little disconcerting when people take what you have given them and make it their own. And also, I want it for you because, as your mentor, I know that making it your own is the thing that actually makes it work I can teach you everything I know about me. I can teach you all of my mindset blocks.
I can teach you all of my mindset superhighways. I have done so, by the way. Listen to any of my old, uh, any of my old advice-type podcasts or any of the old things that I used to do where I would tell you step by step, "Do this or do that." That was me. That was my mindset blocks. That was my mindset superhighways.
What I show you now is how to find your own. It [00:31:00] is so deeply rewarding, my friends, to make it your own, to find yourself at the pinnacle of your journey, knowing that you personally have gotten your goal your way by being unapologetically you. Roll credits. Love. There are milestones that you will meet on your way to your goal, and I'm actually gonna summarize them for you here again at the very end of our podcast.
Milestone number one is wanting to journal at all, because currently you are not, and that is completely okay. This is all a permission slip to be exactly where you are. Milestone number two is understanding what you can potentially get from journaling. This might be the place where you go watch the free Daily 3 Masterclass and really start to see that there are some dots to connect.
It might also be the place where you come and join the Get Your Goal membership and start seeing other people on their [00:32:00] journey to help you really connect those dots between journaling and you getting your goal. Milestones number three, four, and five. Number three is journaling with a little bit of consistency.
Doesn't have to be every day. Never has to be every day for you to call yourself consistent. Journaling number, or excuse me, milestone number four is getting some wins and really being able to see them as such. And milestone number five is making it your own. Lather, rinse, and repeat those three milestones until you arrive at milestone number six, having complete trust that you are doing it correctly, that your journaling is bringing you exactly what you want, and that you are the ones creating, the ones, the one, the one creating your own goals.
My friend, thank you so much for listening today. I hope that this felt, I hope that this felt like always like a warm hug [00:33:00] from a good friend who sees you deeply, who never judges you for being where you are, who wants the absolute best for you, and who really enjoys your company on our journey. Thank you so much for listening.
I'll talk to you again soon. No matter where you are on your goal-getting journey, I'm here to help. Get started by watching the free Daily 3 Masterclass to learn the simple journaling framework that rewires your brain for success. Move forward with confidence at your pace with one of my goal-specific guided journaling experiences.
And when you're ready for immersive exploration with fellow travelers just like you, you belong in the Get Your Goal membership. Find it all and join the adventure at getyourgoal.com.
