You Have Time To Get Your Goal

Welcome to the Get Your Goal podcast, the place where ambitious, deep thinking women chart their own course-- exploring the mindset, emotions, and daily practices that help you get your goal your way by being unapologetically you. I'm your host Pahla B, master certified life and goal coach and creator of the Daily 3 journaling framework. On this podcast, you'll learn to navigate your unique path to success by using the most powerful tool in your kit, your own internal compass. Ready for the adventure? Let's go. Hello, friend. We are talking about time scarcity today and apropos of that topic, today's podcast is destined to be a little bit shorter than normal, but not because I don't have enough time for it. I actually, I have, gosh, I have the whole day free. I have a lovely wide open schedule today, but I also, and you can probably already hear it, have a little bit of a cold. I picked up a cold over the Thanksgiving weekend and I am getting over it. [00:01:00] I am like... I'm gonna say I'm like 90% today. I feel so much better than I did even, even yesterday or the day before, but I still have a little bit of congestion, and I've noticed that when I talk for any real length of time, that my voice gets exceptionally scratchy and then I start coughing a lot. And to avoid having to A, edit out a thousand coughs or B, like actually strain my voice and not feel better even more so tomorrow and the next day and continue getting better. I'm gonna keep today's podcast short and, oh my gosh. I'm gonna try really, really hard not to make myself laugh. Now, that's actually gonna be, no, they're both gonna be hard. They're both gonna be hard. I have set myself a challenge today to not talk too long or laugh too much. Apropos of our scarcity conversation today. That's actually really good foreshadowing. So here's the thing. Here's the thing about time scarcity. This is something that I coach on very frequently [00:02:00] inside the Get Your Goal membership and something that I have really, really worked on myself. Time scarcity, any kind of scarcity, is a mindset block. And I am going to, I'm gonna use the kind of sentence that I don't love to use. It's a very universal thing. I'm gonna say that we all have time scarcity. Like I'm just gonna throw that out there, let it lie on the ground. There are probably some people in the world who have done the work on time scarcity to be like, no, I don't think I have very much. But even that is still a little bit of scarcity. Here's, here's how this showed up for me for years and years and years. I would take a look at my list of tasks for the day. I would, I, gosh, I used to make a to-do list every day forever. I mean, that was, gosh, I, I have not actually spent any time whatsoever thinking about this. When did I start [00:03:00] making to-do lists? I'm gonna say I was probably in middle school or high school. My mom still makes a to-do list like this is, this is something that we've all been taught, that you make a to-do list and then you try to do all of the things on that list. And one of the things that I used to tell myself constantly is there is too much to do. I don't have enough hours in the day to be able to do all these things. And yet, and yet there I was making the list every single day with too many items on it. There are ways that this is showing up for you that might or might not be a to-do list. There might be some chatter in your head about, especially if you are a woman of a certain age as I am. That you are thinking, my goodness, I don't really have a lot of time left. I don't think I have enough time to get what I [00:04:00] want. I'm getting too old to be able to do what I want, or this would've been easier when I was younger or when I was younger, it was easier to do the things that I wanna do. We also have it show up in ways where we talk about patience. Oh, I am not a person with patience. I, you know, this is taking too long to get my goal. I just want this to go faster. I, I just need to be patient. I actually have a whole. Gosh. Okay. Apropos of, I want to keep this short, I'm not gonna take the side rant down the, you don't actually need to be patient to get your goal. But we're actually gonna cover that topic while I talk to you about time scarcity. So I'm still gonna say what I wanna say about being patient, except I'm gonna say it really quickly here. You don't need to be patient to get your goal. In fact, trying to make yourself be patient is very frequently the problem and not the solution. Anyways. What is going on with time [00:05:00] scarcity is actually just your brain being your brain. And I really wanna, I really wanna normalize that for all of us, since I have put it out there that this is universal, that we all have time scarcity. Let me also assure you that you are not alone when you have thoughts like this. And the point of today's podcast is to really help you shift and not get out of time scarcity, because that in itself sounds very scarce, doesn't it? Like, oh my gosh, you have this problem and you have to fix it. But, I wanna offer you today a normalization that you have been socialized to think about time in a certain way, and some strategies to help you not feel the urgency of time scarcity. Here's how you can notice time scarcity or honestly any kind of scarcity in your life. The language that you are using sounds [00:06:00] specific. But it isn't. You are saying something like, I have too much to do. I don't have enough time. You are thinking that that is specific. Numerical. But it's not. What you are saying, what you are you are using non-specific language to try to describe a thing. And what happens when you are using that non-specific language, because your brain would much, much prefer specificity in order to move forward. What ends up happening is that you end up doing either nothing at all or you end up wasting time. Ugh, on strategies that promise you speed. When you think time scarcity thoughts, you feel either urgent to get more done now, now, now, now, now, or [00:07:00] doomed to getting nothing done. This was actually what always happened to me. I would make that long to do list and then I would feel that... The urgency to get it all done now, and also the complete doom of I'm never going to get this done. There's too much to do. I don't have enough time. And then I would find myself just playing on my phone for hours or sitting on the couch and watching TV instead of getting something done. Time scarcity is at the root of, if not all of your procrastination and avoidant activities, but it's at the root of quite a bit of them. The thing about thinking time scarcity thoughts, and then feeling either that urgency or the doom, is that then you make decisions and behave in ways that don't truly move you towards [00:08:00] your goal. And my goal for you is to help you get your goal. I love to offer you the ability to see that what you are thinking right now is either helping you move towards your goal or not moving you to towards your goal, and then shifting to not necessarily positive thoughts. I do have a whole rant about that. In fact, I have an old podcast about that and I, gosh, what is it called? Something about Stop Thinking Positively or, or some version of that, and it is a, oh, that is many, many years old. I wanna say that podcast probably came out in like 2018. 2019, maybe 2020. Several, several years old at this point. You can scroll way back in your podcast list and find that old episode, and I stand by that one because thinking positively does not help you nearly as much as what we're gonna talk about today. And what we're gonna talk about today [00:09:00] is metacognitive journaling, which is one of the three kinds of journaling that actually helps you rewire your brain for success. As opposed to, I'm gonna call it regular journaling. There are so many different journaling modalities and all of them have their place in the world. There are any number of reasons why you would do specific types of journaling. The reason you would do the Daily 3, which is three types of journaling, is to get your goal. The Daily 3 is, by the way, the Daily 3 is my proprietary journaling framework that combines these three different types of journaling, future self, metacognitive, and success journaling that help you get really clear on what your goal actually is as opposed to that vague, oh, I don't know, maybe I kind of wanna work on my cardio. But getting really clear on what your goal actually is, [00:10:00] untangling the mindset blocks that are stopping you from getting your goal. That's what we're talking about today. Time scarcity is a mindset block. I'm gonna show you the metacognitive tools to help you get through it. And then success journaling where you actually see your progress. As opposed to what most of us do, which is, I don't know. I don't really think I'm losing weight. I don't really feel like I'm making progress on my book. Oh, I'm not really making any money in my business anymore. I'm not really moving forward. Your brain is hardwired to predict a future that is exactly the same as your present. It is hardwired through confirmation bias to continue thinking exactly what you were thinking. And your brain is hardwired for negativity bias. The Daily 3 helps you move through the way your brain would ordinarily work and into the kind of success that brings you more success, a/k/a, helps you get your goal. So [00:11:00] here's the thing with metacognitive journaling. While you are metacognitive journaling, which by the way just means that you are understanding that your thoughts are thoughts, instead of living in them, you are recognizing them as thoughts. And we've already really kind of talked about this. The thing that you are doing with metacognitive journaling is recognizing that you are using words in your, in your thoughts, in your brain, that sound specific, but aren't. And then my friend, what you will do is get specific. I know that sounds incredibly simple, but you will be surprised at how ridiculously effective this is. When you understand, well, first of all, when you understand that you are currently using non-specific language, and then when you ask yourself to use more specific language, how long will this task take? How long will it take to get this goal? What that does [00:12:00] is helps you put in your brain in more of like curiosity and learning mode in a good way. The thing that I will offer you here today is that understanding the mechanism of what it's gonna take to get your goal will help you be specific. And speaking of specific, I'm gonna give you a very specific answer or example rather. And here I am cracking myself up, that I'm using the wrong word. I said answer, which is an answer, but also, this is an example. I have a goal right now. It's been on my goal list for quite some time. In fact, here I'm gonna, I am gonna take a little detour. I had a goal on my list on my vision board for how long did it take me? Well, it took me 13 marathons to qualify for Boston, and that would've been, I started running marathons in 2009. I qualified in 2016, that's seven years. So seven [00:13:00] years, 13 marathons. And I realized after the fact, like many, many years after the fact that what I had had on my vision board was qualifying for the Boston Marathon. I did this when I wrote my book too, and in fact, this is language that I am correcting in myself right now, that I'm really observing myself talking about this goal of writing a book. Uh, writing a book is only the first part of it, my friend. Qualifying for Boston is only the first part of it. I. I have done this thing to myself where I have given myself a goal of only the first part of what I truly want. I want to run the Boston Marathon. I don't just wanna qualify for it. I have qualified for it, but I wanna actually run the Boston Marathon. I want to actually write, publish, and promote a second book. Because for the first book, all I cared about was writing it, and then I [00:14:00] realized afterwards, oh, crap, I gotta do more for this. And it was really, really, really difficult for me to publish and promote the book. Actually, publishing was not difficult. It was the promoting of the book that was super, super hard for me, and that is something that I would like to do differently this time. On my vision board right now isn't just qualifying for the Boston Marathon, it's running the Boston Marathon. So my job is to understand the mechanics of getting to the Boston Marathon, which means for running very specifically that I need to actually be able to assess where I am currently. Like take a clear-eyed look at the exact pace that I am running right now. And gently, lovingly compare it with the pace that I will need to qualify and run the Boston Marathon. For me, I'm a woman who is four. [00:15:00] How old am I? I'm 56 years old. That was hilarious. What number was I gonna say? I heard the number four coming out of my mouth. I knew it was wrong. Thank goodness. That's weird. Anyways, I am a woman who is 56 years old. Right now, in order to qualify for the Boston Marathon, I would need to run a four hour marathon and in order to go to the Boston Marathon, which by the way is slightly different than just qualifying, I would need to run a time that's anywhere from like three to five minutes faster than that. So I would need to run something like a 3:55 to a 3:57, at most, marathon. My current pace, I am actually about to run a marathon in just a couple of days, but my current training pace is about a 12 to a 12 and a half minute mile. That is where my current endurance adaptations are right this minute. [00:16:00] And I will tell you that currently I am doing a walk run. I have not run a road marathon in many years. I've done a lot of trail running, which just very naturally includes a lot of walking. So coming back to the road with, I'm gonna say quote unquote easier terrain, meaning not as much climbing. Generally speaking, the road is very smooth. There's not a lot of rocks and roots and like things to, or there's not a lot of creeks to run through, things like that. Things that legitimately slow you down on trail running. So. My current adaptations are about a 12 to a 12 and a half minute mile. In order to run a four hour, well, even a, a 3:55 marathon, I would need to be running about a nine minute mile. Now here's what I know, as a, a person with many certifications and a lot of understanding about biology and physiology and, and how these things work. You work on endurance first.[00:17:00] And then you work on speed. It takes an amount of time to create endurance, meaning that your body has to make those physiological adaptations. Your heart and lungs need to create the capacity to run longer. Your muscles need to create the capacity to run longer. The way that you do this is through progressive overload, meaning that you push the limits of where you are right now and then you rest and recover from that. As a menopausal woman, my rest and recovery are a higher priority than the overload portion of training. Yes, I realize that I'm getting very technical with you, but this is something I could talk about all day, so I'm going to. The thing about progressive overload is that that takes an amount of time, and I am currently discovering where my specific body hits that point of overload, and exactly how much time it takes me [00:18:00] personally for rest and recovery. There are, I'm gonna call it rules of thumb about this, but your specific body is going to take the amount of time that it takes to make adaptations. And getting really clear on that without all of the judgment, all of the shame, all of the, oh, I should be faster than this. This is taking too long. Like while you are assessing, you are also clearing out all that crap and judgment that you have about where your specific body is. And the truth of it is that what I understand about my own personal body, that what I am discovering about where my adaptations are right now. It is very likely going to take me at least a year of creating the endurance adaptations that I desire before I will be able to move into the speed phase. By the way, biologically speaking, you always do [00:19:00] endurance before you do speed. You need to have the lung capacity to run at all before you can run faster. I also know from experience that the speed adaptations are gonna take me probably about a year, and this is information that is from when I was running in my forties. So it might even take me a little bit longer than that. Knowing that I have a minimum of two years before I will be able to create, I'm gonna say any kind of real speed adaptations. It means that for the next foreseeable, you know, two year future, I'm gonna be running about the pace that I'm running right now. Maybe a tiny bit faster, but very unlikely that I will be running three to three and a half minutes per mile faster than I am running right now over the course of the next two-ish years. Probably three years. Uh, I have a three year rule of [00:20:00] thumb for almost everything. Honestly, just when in doubt it's gonna take you three years is something that I love to remind myself because of the time scarcity that I have had in my life and that I have experienced. When I simply offer myself a three year timeline, everything just feels a little bit more calm already. Here's the thing about three years. In three years, I'm gonna be 59 years old. Hey, and here's the thing about qualifying and then running the Boston Marathon, is that because of the way they do qualifications, they... You put in your application to qualify in September, and then you run the marathon in April when the, when the marathon is. Your age on the date of the Boston Marathon is how you qualify for it. So at 59, because of when my birthday is and when the Boston Marathon is, I could qualify [00:21:00] as a 60-year-old. And let me tell you something about 60 year olds, they get 20 more minutes to qualify to be able to run. So by the time it will take me to make these adaptations, I will very likely qualify as a 60-year-old, which means that I have to run a 4:20, which again, technically means that I would wanna run like a 4:15. Oh, but that means that my pace only needs to be about a 10 minute mile. Although if I'm running a 4:15, that's like a 9 45 ish, 9 45 minutes per mile. That feels a lot more generous already for me, speaking of scarcity, feels a lot more generous for me than a nine flat or something slightly under nine. Having that understanding of the exact pace that I want to be running, the pace that I'm running right now, the amount of time, probably a minimum of three years that it's going to take me [00:22:00] to create those physiological adaptations means that, well, for example, what it really means for me right now is that the marathon that I'm running in a couple of days is one marathon on my way to qualifying and running the Boston Marathon. My pace right now, my time right now, yeah, it's important. It's part of understanding where I am, but it doesn't mean very much in the grand scheme of thing. Things. That was weird. I don't know what my mouth was doing with that word. In the grand scheme of things, plural, I've got plenty of time to make these adaptations. When I simply sit back and say, this is a three year plan at minimum, and likely four or five, then all of a sudden I feel very differently about my training and about where I, you know, [00:23:00] quote unquote have to be and what this marathon means, and what I really want from this marathon. This particular marathon, it gets to be whatever it is, especially now that I have a cold and I'm getting over it. Like this marathon feels so lovely and so relaxed. The stakes feel significantly lower than it would if I was telling myself I have to qualify for Boston right now. I have to be fast right now. I'm running out of time. I'm getting older. This is getting harder. I don't have enough time to get where I wanna go. I got plenty of time. Here's the other little piece that I will also throw out there. Once you understand the mechanism, it really gives you the specifics. This is how long it's going to take me to be able to create the thing that I want. And then, and then, you still have the job, my friend of working through your beliefs.[00:24:00] What do you believe you are truly capable of? What do you believe you deserve? What do you believe about your goal? Not only do you have time scarcity thoughts, but it is incredibly likely that you have some other mindset blocks that you are going to want to work through between now and then. But here's the great news, now you have a timeline. Now you know it's gonna take you an amount of time, and the more specific you can be, the better because your brain loves specificity. Once you know, okay, I've got this three to five year plan, I've already started mapping out what I want to be able to accomplish next year in 2026. What I wanna be able to accomplish the year after that in 2027. What I wanna be able to accomplish the year after that in 2028. And then from there, because I mean, generally speaking, three years is about as much as your brain will want to think about [00:25:00] and probably be able to get really specific with. Once you can break it down, you know the pieces, you know the mechanics, you know the adaptations you wanna make. And by the way, this works for non-biological goals also. When you know what it takes, the mechanics of publishing a book and promoting a book, you can start to break those tasks down into smaller and smaller and smaller pieces, putting them on your calendar in a way that makes sense. Rather than just willy-nilly creating this to-do list of everything it's gonna take for your goal. You can have an a clearer idea of what would make sense to do today. What would make sense to do this week. By the way, this is another part of the Daily 3. It's future self journaling. It's really getting clear, not on, well, it's getting clear on the big [00:26:00] picture. Okay, what do I want overall, but also what makes sense to do right now? Not do, what do I feel pressure to do because I'm running out of time and there's too much to do and I don't have enough time and I'm getting older and oh my goodness, I'll never be able to do this. But that really clear-eyed look of, here's where I am. Here's what I want. Here are the mechanics of what it takes to get what I want, and metacognitively speaking, here are the things that I am thinking right now about my capabilities and who I am and why this is gonna be hard for me. That's the metacognitive part. And then of course, just for funsies, because this will help rewire your brain for success, really acknowledging where you are right now, what you did yesterday that you asked yourself to do, what you've been doing over the course of, for me, again, with this example of running the Boston Marathon, [00:27:00] what I've been doing over the last four months. Oh my gosh. I have dug through... I have dug through so many disbeliefs. So many thoughts about my capabilities. I have created for myself the, the running of every single time I asked myself to run. I did it. Every single time I asked myself to run a specific pace, meaning the pace that my adaptation support right now, I've been able to do it. Watching myself add all of that up, I already know that literally, no matter what happens at this coming race, it's a huge success. I've been watching myself make both mental and physical and emotional progress towards not just this marathon, but towards the Boston Marathon. This, my friend, is [00:28:00] what the Daily 3 can help you with also. Not just your time scarcity, but creating what you want, not feeling that urgency to get it right now. Not asking yourself to be patient, but really getting clear on what you want. Having the understanding of how much time it is likely to take, digging through the crap that you are throwing in your own way. And I say that with so much love, we all have mindset blocks. What you have is a tool to work through them. And then watching it all add up, so that you can get what you want. 'Cause that's why we're here. You getting your goal, your way by being, ah, beautifully clear-eyed you. My friend. This ended up being longer than I thought, and I do have quite a few coughing fits to edit [00:29:00] out because yes, I made myself laugh. I, you know, you know what's really funny? I made myself that promise at the beginning, thinking to myself, it's unlikely. This is something that the Daily 3 can also help you with, not making yourself promises that you are not likely to follow through on. I said those things because of course it would've been nice to not cough, but also what feels even nicer than that is this lovely moment with you where we get to talk about what you want. How you personally can get it, and sometimes that's pretty funny. I'm a funny girl. Okay. But I am really, truly going to wrap this up, have another coughing fit, send it out into the world for you so that you can take the lovely amount of time today to listen to this podcast and move forward towards your goal. Thank you so much for listening. I will talk to you [00:30:00] again soon. No matter where you are on your goal getting journey, i'm here to help. Get started by watching the free Daily 3 masterclass to learn the simple journaling framework that rewires your brain for success. Move forward with confidence at your pace with one of my goal-specific guided journaling experiences. And when you're ready for immersive exploration with fellow travelers just like you, you belong in the Get Your Goal Membership. Find it all, and join the adventure at getyourgoal.com.