Let me just start with this: when you’re not losing weight it’s almost never because of your calories. And yet, that’s the conclusion we all jump to immediately, even though changing up your calories is more likely to slow you down than speed you up. So today, I’m sharing three important things to do (that aren’t changing your calories) when you’re not losing weight.
Welcome to the podcast, GOALfriend. Before we get into the three things to do when you’re not losing weight, let me clarify exactly why changing your calories isn’t likely to help.
Weight loss is a long game, and it’s driven by three things, in this exact order: number one, believing that you can, number two, eating in a slight caloric deficit over time, and number three, lovingly supporting your menopausal metabolism while you do numbers one and two.
Fiddling around with your calories (number two) before you address the belief piece (number one) is kind of like trying to read a book in a foreign language when you don’t even know the alphabet yet. Sure, you can make guesses, but it’s unlikely that you’ll make sense of the story.
Imagine jumping into the deep end of a pool when you don’t believe that you can swim. You’ll just thrash around and, at best, tread water, instead of gliding smoothly to the other side.
You absolutely, positively, MUST take a look at your mindset – your beliefs – before making adjustments to your calories, so that you don’t find yourself splashing around and not making progress toward your weight loss goal.
This is why the three things to do when you’re not losing weight that I’m sharing with you today are all mindset-focused – so you can swim like a champion and read foreign-language novels with ease.
No, I’m joking.
I’m showing you how to change your mindset so you can lose all the weight you want after menopause and keep it off forever. So, let’s dive in.
Thing number one to do when you’re not losing weight is to check on your goal.
Is it specific enough, and are you excited about it? For some of us, setting a goal feels very easy, and the number is very clear. There’s no question, no disbelief, about what you want.
But for some of us, the goal is really fuzzy and shrouded in self doubt. Maybe you want to lose ten pounds, but you might feel better if you lost twenty. But can you really lose 20 pounds? What if that’s not sustainable or realistic?
Maybe you should just focus on your health or on the way your clothes fit. Maybe you want to work on your cardio, or finally feel like yourself again.
Listen, you don’t have to want to lose weight, even though that is always the topic I’m talking about on this podcast. What you do need to know is what you WANT. Define it, enumerate it, get clear about exactly what it is, and then do a gut check – how do you feel about that goal?
For example, if you want to work on your cardio, great. What does that mean, exactly? Do you want to lower your resting heart rate? Do you want to be able to walk or run a 5k in a specific amount of time? Do you want to increase your VO2 MAX? Do you want to lower your blood pressure?
Or let’s say that you want to fit into your clothes again. Terrific. Which clothes? All of them? Some of them? Or just that one pair of pants that you’ve always loved and now they’re back in style again? How do you want them to fit? Do they need to be loose, or is it simply a matter of getting the zipper closed?
Be as specific and clear as you can, and put numbers on it whenever possible. Ask yourself, “How will I know I’m done?”
Notice two things about this process. First, that your brain really wants to squirrel away from answering these questions. That happens to all of us, and it’s totally okay. You CAN define your goal, and that’s the second thing I want you to notice. It feels so much better when you do.
When your goal is undefined, your brain and your body feel fuzzy and undefined, too. No wonder it’s so hard to make progress!
And then – this is super important – after you’ve defined your goal, check in with how you FEEL.
I have worked with so many women who announce with certainty that they want to lose a specific amount of weight and get to a specific goal weight… but then, when I ask how they feel about that number, they’re riddled with doubt and insecurity.
Being able to define your goal is great, but it also has to feel good.
Inside the Get Your GOAL group, one of the very first learning modules walks you through setting a numeric goal that feels amazing. Having a defined goal that feels exciting and believable is the first step to getting your goal.
Thing number two to do when you’re not losing weight is to check on your tasks.
Setting your goal might have been the easy part. Now, it’s time to do stuff to get there. So, let’s check in, in a couple of different ways: first, do you know exactly what tasks to do, second, do you have a way to track that they’re getting done, third, are you actually tracking them, and fourth, are you enjoying doing them?
One of the biggest problems I had when I was yo-yo dieting was not really knowing what my tasks were. I mean, yes, I had that vague notion that I should “eat less and move more,” but what did that mean, exactly?
Well, for me, it meant that some days I was eating practically nothing and exercising for hours at a time, and some days I wasn’t doing much of anything. My water was pretty hit or miss, and back in those days, I would fall into bed exhausted some time between 7 pm and you know, 2 am, depending on the day and how good the book I was reading was.
Oh, and I definitely wasn’t doing any kind of journaling!
It wasn’t until I was losing weight for the last time in my 50s that I really understood what my body needed, and how my brain was driving the weight loss train. This is 100% why I created The 5-0 Method, to help other menopausal women hone in on the tasks that actually move the needle on the scale, instead of wasting your time with different tactics that don’t work.
So, thankfully, YOU already know your five tasks, yay!
But do you have a way to track that they’re getting done? And are you actually tracking them?
Back in the day, I used to buy trackers and planners and journals and calendars like it was my job. But using them was a whole different kettle of fish. I would get started with high hopes and lots of motivation, and then fizzle out and put the planner aside just a few weeks later.
This is why you want to ask yourself both questions – just because you have a tracker doesn’t mean you’re using it.
And, further, this is why you want to ask yourself that final question about whether or not you’re enjoying your tasks. The most likely reason you’re not tracking your tasks is because you’re not really enjoying them, which also means you’re probably not really doing them.
Enjoying your tasks is such a huge part of creating belief that inside the Get Your GOAL membership, there’s not just one but two entire learning modules on creating believable and enjoyable tasks for yourself.
Understanding your tasks, tracking them, and enjoying them sustainably over time is the direct path to permanent weight loss.
And finally, thing number three to do when you’re not losing weight is to check on your consistency.
This is just a straight-up math question – are you actually hitting your targets day after day? – that has the potential to reveal to you all kinds of mindset drama (aka, disbelief). Or not.
For some of us, looking at data actually feels really soothing and reassuring and solid. It’s a beautiful way of knowing that you’re right on track with everything you intended to do. Boom!
But for some others of us, even the idea of looking at the numbers feels paralyzing, because you have so many stories in your head about your ability to be consistent.
This was me for the longest time. On the micro level, I didn’t used to believe that I would be satisfied eating the same consistent amount of food every day, so I would completely undereat on weekdays for the trade-off of completely overeating on the weekends. And on the macro level, I believed that I could lose weight (somewhat easily, in fact), but I didn’t believe I could consistently keep it off, which unsurprisingly led me to gain and lose the same thirty pounds half a dozen times.
When I was losing weight for the last time in my 50s, though, I was really determined to get honest with myself inside my journal, so I could get out of this yo-yo dieting cycle. And this is how I created the consistency check-in processes I share inside my monthly weight loss membership.
Knowing how to analyze your consistency over time is one of the most crucial skills you can learn on your weight loss journey, and one of the best ways to build your belief, so you can lose all the weight you want.
My friend, I know you’re tempted to change your calories when you’re not losing weight, but before you go adjusting the numbers, here are three important things to do first:
Number one, check in with your goal.
Number two, check in with your tasks.
And number three, check in with your consistency.
All three of these places have the potential to reveal the mostly hidden, and usually subconscious disbeliefs that are the real reason you’re not losing weight.
Thank you so much for joining me today – I’ll talk to you again soon!
