Weight loss over 50 is driven by 3 things in this exact order. Number 1, believing that you can. Number 2, eating a slight caloric deficit over time. And number 3, lovingly supporting your metabolism while you do the other 2 things. But How exactly do you get your brain on board with weight loss so that you can believe that you can lose weight? Like this. Listen. Anybody can help you lose weight after menopause by restricting yourself and using willpower, but my zone genius is helping you lose all the weight you want and keep it off forever by changing your mindset. Welcome to the Get Your Goal podcast where ambitious menopausal women come to lose weight for the last time.
I'm your host, Pahla B, certified life and weight loss coach, author of mind over menopause, and former yo yo dieter. When you're ready to change your mind about weight loss, I'm here to help. Let's get your goal. Hello. Hello, goal friend. How are you doing today? I am so excited to dive into this topic, and I'm also the teeniest bit nervous that we are going to be interrupted. And by we, of course, I just mean me. If we get interrupted.
I will edit out the interruptive parts. I am actually recording this indoors today. I am not in my podcast studio out in my minivan in the garage. I am sitting in my comfy gray chair with my comfy pajama pants and my comfy slippers and my comfy shirt, and I've got a comfy cat next to me, just one of them. The other one is, I don't know, somewhere. I have the house to myself today for the first time in I honestly don't know how long. I have a couple of minutes here and there every now and again to myself, but today has been a couple of hours alone in my own brain for the first time in so long that I'm honestly having a hard time remembering how long it's been. My kids I think I've told you this before.
And if you are a brand new listener, hey. Let me just tell you a little bit about my life. I have 2 adult children, and they have come and gone a couple of times over the last couple of years. They're both right at that beginning part of their careers where they still need some support, but they're independent, but they're in and out of the house. So as of right now, my youngest son is off in the world, and my oldest son is here for at least 6 months, possibly a little bit longer while he is going through the fire academy. He is a firefighter paramedic who is going through academy right now before he starts his firefighter career. Super exciting stuff. And I don't think I've mentioned this one.
I don't yeah. I don't think I've mentioned this one. My husband just retired from his career. So so no sooner do I get my youngest son off in the world, And my oldest son will be off in the world, like, pretty soon. You know, 6 months, 8 months, 9 months, whatever. Like, probably this year, but now my husband's home. So me, having any alone time is so rare and so lovely. My husband and son are off in the world doing something fun today while I am at home working on this podcast.
So I'm a little bit afraid that we will be interrupted because if they come home from their fun time, they will not be quiet. But I think I have enough time to dig into this topic with you today, and I am super excited. Because here's the thing, Your brain needs to be on board with weight loss. I mean, hands down, this is the most important part of your weight loss journey. I know there are plenty of people in the world who are like, Oh, no. It's just a body thing. We talked about this last week. Well, this is just a body thing.
You just do these things and you're all good. But the truth of it is your body doesn't actually go anywhere that your brain doesn't go first. And let me give you a really It feels like a simple example, but it has so many more parallels to your weight loss journey than you might realize. Let's imagine going. Like, literally, taking your body, going to the store to buy a pair of, like, adorable heels, like something super cute that goes with this great outfit, and it's just a fabulous pair of shoes. Or Going to the store and buying a pair of, like, walking or running shoes. And for the sake of our example here, Let me just, like, make this super duper, like, even across the board. Like, both pairs of shoes cost the exact same amount of money.
You want both pairs of shoes or either a pair of shoes. Like, it's not a matter of desire or finances, But there is one of those 2 pairs of shoes that you are very likely to have no problem at all. Running off to the store like that pair of shoes is in your hot little hands. No big deal. And the other one, you're gonna spend a little bit of time dithering about. For me, this was really obvious. For me, going and buying a pair of walking or running shoes is an absolute no brainer. Now to be fair, I would just do this online.
There's a favorite pair of shoes that I like to wear. I would just hop on running warehouse.com and buy my normal pair. But a pair of heels? Oh, that's it's not entirely a hard pass. I own heels. I'm trying to think of when I bought them. I have I have 2 pairs of shoes that I bought at the exact same time. They're they're essentially the exact same pair of shoes, like, same brand, same heel height, same almost everything. They're just in different colors.
I have to have bought those, oh my gosh, 4 years ago, 5 years ago. At least at the very least, like, 3 and a half. So that's why I'm gonna say, like, 4 or 5 because I don't remember what event I bought them for. Oh my gosh. I do. I bought these shoes in 2019. So, like, four and a half years ago. So So for me, I would spend a lot of time dithering and not really getting out to go buy a pair of shoes.
And here's why. I would have disbeliefs about buying a pair of heels. I would not believe that I would wear them very often because I don't. Like, these shoes are still in pristine condition, and I bought them 4 years ago. I would not believe that I need them because frankly, I don't. I just told you the story about how I'm sitting here wearing pajama pants and slippers because that's how I do 99.9% of my work. I wouldn't believe that I would get my money's worth out of them. To be fair, I've probably gotten my money's worth out of both of these pairs of heels.
I've worn them a handful of times over the past 4 years, I will probably not buy another pair of heels until these look so so so out of fashion, which Really, then if I just hang on to them for another 10 years or so, they'll come back in. So I'm totally gonna get my money out of these shoes. Like, I just have a lot of disbeliefs about wanting, needing, or going and getting a pair of adorable heels. You, on the other hand, if you happen to wear heels for work and you love wearing shoes like that, you might have a lot of disbeliefs about buying a pair of walking or running shoes. You might love to exercise barefoot at home, for example, and think to yourself, why in the world would I need a pair of tennis shoes or athletic shoes? It sounds like you are reporting facts. It sounds to me like I am reporting facts to myself when I tell you my disbeliefs about wanting or needing or going and buying a pair of adorable heels. And I want you to know but this is actually exactly what's going on with weight loss. You have thoughts in your head that sound like facts.
They sound like reasons. They sound very truthful, but what they are is disbeliefs. And those thoughts are the things that are stopping you from losing weight in much the same way that I have not for the past four and a half years, gone out to buy myself a pair of heels. Now the thing about disbelief that I really wanna clear up before we get too far into the weeds of this topic is that there's really this kind of common misconception that when I'm talking about, like, beliefs or mind set or getting your brain on board with weight loss that what I'm really talking about is only the the thinking part. I mean, especially because I use the word mindset, And I think about this all the time. I consider myself a mindset coach. I talk about mindset. I in a lot of my, you know, podcasts and advertising and on my website and things like that.
I talk about mindset. And the thing that I really want you to know about mindset is that it's not just about your thoughts, that your thoughts create your feelings. So it's actually about both of them. We've talked about this at least in one other episode, and I will point you in the direction. There's a bonus episode called the wheel that really explains this concept thoroughly, but also concisely that Your thoughts create your feelings, and then your feelings drive your actions, and then your actions get you a result that is a direct reflection of your original thought. So when I'm talking about mindset, I'm actually talking about that whole wheel, about your thought and how it creates a feeling and how that feeling drives actions. In order to get the result that you want, you need to not only think. Let's call it the right thought, but you also need to have a feeling that drives the actions that get you that result.
And oftentimes, when somebody comes brand new to, like, mindset work, like, maybe you've heard about, like the law of attraction or the secret or manifestation or mindset work. And you think to yourself, okay. So if I a just think a lot of positive thoughts. If I just think good things, if I just think things like, of Of course, I can lose weight or, yes, I'm losing weight or I'm doing all the right things to lose weight. That that's what's gonna help you lose weight. And on its surface, a lot of what I'm saying today might even kind of sound like that, but the missing piece here are well, actually, where there's 2 missing pieces when we're talking about mindset work. Number 1 is it's not just your conscious thoughts that are getting you results in your life. It's actually a lot of your subconscious thoughts.
In fact, so many of the thoughts that we deal with when we're doing mindset work are subconscious thoughts, thoughts you don't hear clearly in your brain. And we're actually gonna really get into that today when we're talking about it. But both your conscious thoughts and your subconscious thoughts create your feelings. When you understand the feelings part of the mindset work, it will make so much more sense why you're doing and not doing things that are getting you the results or, in some cases, not results that you're looking for. So when we're talking about belief, when we're talking about addressing your belief and getting your brain on board with weight loss, A more thorough title to this podcast episode would be getting your brain and your body, meaning both your conscious and subconscious thoughts and your feelings onboard with weight loss. And that's really what we're digging into today. So getting your brain on board with weight loss means cleaning up your unhelpful subconscious thoughts along with curating helpful conscious thoughts. And the way you'll know whether or not your thoughts are helpful or unhelpful is by the way your body feels.
And the thing about this is that there will actually be sort of an offset ratio here. And what I mean by that is that the ratio is about 90% cleaning to maybe maybe 10% curating. We spend so much more time and effort cleaning up the unhelpful conscious and subconscious thoughts because it's the part that is most important. Your brain has plenty of helpful thoughts. And once you clean away the unhelpful ones, You will very naturally and easily be thinking helpful thoughts that move you towards what you want. So let me tell you what the path is. Getting your brain on board with weight loss is a very simple straightforward path. There are 3 things that we do, and we do them in this order.
That actually sounds a lot like my intro, but we do these 3 things in this order because it's a lot like learning a foreign language. You need to be able to understand the alphabet and then have some overview of some of the most common words and phrases and how verbs are conjugated and how adjectives work with sentence structure before you'll be able to speak fluently. In this case, step number 1 is to observe. This is basically like learning the alphabet. Step number 2 is to untangle. This is where you start to learn words and phrases and get a feel for how the language is put together. And then step 3 is to set free. This is like speaking fluently.
And I want you to know that this path to getting your brain onboard with weight loss is the work that we do in the five o method, which is my free weight loss guide for women over 50 that really teaches you how to work with your mindset so that you can eat in that slight caloric deficit over time and lovingly support your metabolism while you do so. And we dig even deeper into this work in the Get Your Goal group where we have both asynchronous learning that I have 4 full courses that really cover the entire weight loss journey from losing the first 5 5 pounds you could possibly want, losing the last 5 pounds, and then starting on your maintenance journey and getting any other goal you want. This path is very clear and very simple, and here is exactly how you can get your brain on board. Step number 1 is observing. The act of observing your thoughts is actually a skill that you are born with. It's called metacognition. Human brains do this or rather They can do this. And I really like to clarify that.
This is a skill you were born with. Like, you have it innately. You can't get rid of this skill, but also, we so rarely practice it. It is so not taught in schools. It is a skill you have that you have probably never done anything with, and it is the skill that we start with. This is where we start on the the five o method. It's where we start in the get your goal group with the losing of the first five pounds. And it's also if I had to guess, It's it's not difficult.
I mean, truly, it's not difficult. It's an innate skill. You have it. You can see your thoughts and think about your thoughts. But because it's a brand new skill, I personally, as your coach, find this to be the part that most people are really impatient to get past. Like, you kind of already understand that you'd like to be fluent in in a language, and you're like, oh, okay. But I really I just wanna get there. I just wanna get to the part where I can already see the thoughts, I can already feel the feelings, and I'm already past it all, and I've already been able to get rid of all my unhelpful thoughts and only be thinking helpful thoughts.
So how do I get there faster? And the way you get there faster is by not being impatient. It's starting with observation. The truth of it is that this part of your journey, when you I'm gonna say first start, but honestly, you might have been losing weight for a while before you really start to notice that you even have disbeliefs. Everybody is gonna be different. I mean, for me personally, when when I first started losing weight, any of the dozen times that I've gained and lost weight in my safe. Getting started was never really the hard part. I didn't really notice a lot of disbeliefs until I'd been doing it for a while. So When I'm saying this phrase when you first get started, don't take that personally.
You might have been working on it for a while, but kind of not really known about this mindset piece. So when you first start doing mindset work, whether you are in your first 5 pounds or somewhere on your weight loss journey, but when you first start to notice that you have disbeliefs, This part of your journey is really littered with very conscious I call it monkey chatter. It's the chatter that you that you can hear very easily, but you might not have paid attention to. It's a lot of I can'ts and I don't knows and I don't know hows. I I can't lose weight. I mean, that's a very common one that lots of women come to me with, or I don't know how to lose weight, or I don't know what my calories should be, or I don't know how to count my calories, or I don't know how much exercise I should be doing. I don't know, I don't know how, and I can't are super, super common here. This act of simply observing that you are saying this to yourself is the thing that can actually help you get a crowbar underneath these thoughts.
So many of them, honestly, you don't really believe. Like, they're just thoughts that have kind of been rattling around in your brain. They're they're very old kind of nonsensical thoughts when you stop and notice them, sometimes they don't even sound logical. Like, of course, you can lose weight. Of course, you can figure out how to count your calories. Of course, you can do anything. I mean, honestly, anything. Google exists.
You can figure out how to do anything. So in this case, the very act of observation so often is all you need to do to really help dispel these disbeliefs. Just stopping long enough to hear what you're saying to yourself can actually change what you're saying to yourself. There's a well known both psychological and, principle in physics called the observer effect. Observing a thing changes a thing. Now will all of your disbeliefs magically disappear just because you've observed them? No. But this can be such a huge boost to your ability to lose weight by simply stopping long enough to observe. It's why it's the first step on our path.
We observe. Once you start practicing this skill, honestly, it's going to take you everywhere you wanna go. Being able to observe your thoughts as thoughts is utterly foundational and completely life changing. You'll recognize once you once you get the skill under your belt, once you start working with it, once you start manipulating it, once you start being able to, like, stop yourself mid mid chatter and be like, oh my gosh. That's actually a thought. This is a thought in my brain, not the truth, not a fact, not the way of the world, but simply a thought. It's earth shattering and mind blowing. And, frankly, this is something you will come back to again and again and again.
Even now, even though I am a life coach, even though I've been doing this kind of mindset work for years, there are still times when I will be telling somebody a story and I'll realize mid story, Oh my gosh. These are thoughts. Like like, being able to observe yourself and your thoughts is a skill you will use again and again and again and again on your weight loss journey. Step number 2 on your path is untangling. Now this part of the journey is where we move the work from your brain. I'm gonna say brain only. You might have in the 1st part where You're observing. You mark might start observing that your thoughts really do create your feelings.
I mean, I've Told you this numerous times. It is how we do this work is by recognizing that your thoughts create your feelings. But that first observational part, If you are anything like me or anything like most of the women that I work with in the Get Your Goal group or anything like basically anybody. You have been socialized not to really feel your feelings and kind of not to even notice your feelings. For most of us, we really do start this work in our brains. It's why I lay this out as the path starting in your brain and then moving into your body. Now if your experience is the other way around, the path still goes through these same steps where you just start by observing. Maybe what you are observing in that first part isn't so much of your thoughts, but your feelings in your body.
But here's the thing about untangling. Step 2, the untangling, is to allow the feelings to exist and process all the way through. Again, if you've been socialized at all to either not feel your feelings or squash them down or ignore them or try not to have them. You have probably never felt your feelings all the way through. This is, again, a foundational skill that I teach in the get your goal group. It is a skill that you are capable of innately. I mean, your feelings are natural. They are bursts of hormones in your bloodstream.
You have feelings, and you're meant to. Like, your feelings have a job. Your feelings are supposed to drive you into action so that you get things done. So you have feelings. You have probably never been taught the skill of allowing them, of feeling them all the way through. But this is exactly how we get our brain onboard with weight loss. You get your brain and your body onboard with weight loss. Now this part of your journey really tends to be filled with thoughts like I don't want to or I can't seem to.
And this is actually where we really start digging into subconscious thoughts. This is where we start digging up, like, old programming and habits that you've had for your whole life. What I hear a lot is, oh, I have always behaved this way or, you know, oh, every time I lose weight, I gain it back. This is where we really start digging in and recognizing that there's more than conscious thoughts driving your habitual actions. Generally speaking, this is where we really start digging into times when you're out of your routine. This is one of the most common things that I coach on in the Get Your Goal group where, you know, you've really a routine going on at home that feels great for weight loss. But as soon as you're out of that routine, like on vacation or at somebody else's house or in a restaurant or or what have you. As soon as you're out of that routine, all of a sudden, you just find yourself not doing what you intended.
Like, you're eating more than you meant to or not drinking your water or drinking more alcohol than you intended or snacking or whatever. Whatever kind of an old habit comes up when you're out of your routine is something that you can investigate and untangle on this part of the journey. The truth of it is when you find yourself doing something that you didn't intend to do, That action is being driven by a feeling just like all the other actions. At home, in your routine, You've got lots of beliefs, lots of, let's call them, good thoughts that are driving, again, for lack a better way of putting it, good actions that you intended to do that are getting you weight loss results. And then when you're out of your routine, there's just another set of thoughts to find. There's a set of disbeliefs to find that aren't quite as obvious as this conscious monkey chatter that you found when you were observing. This layer here where we move into the body, where we start actually feeling the feelings and digging up the subconscious thoughts, This is where we are untangling the disbeliefs that were under the surface, my friend. This is some of the best work that you can do.
When you when you really recognize that there isn't a thought in your brain that you can't find, that there isn't a feeling in your body that you can't feel. You'll recognize that you can actually do anything, that you can truly create for yourself whatever result you want. Specifically, in this case, what we're talking about is weight loss. This path of observing and then untangling is the way to get where you wanna go. And yet there's still a step 3, my friends. Step 3 is the part where you set yourself free. And this is the part I gotta tell you that I don't think nobody expects. I think we all come to weight loss thinking, okay.
I'm gonna do these things and then I'm gonna lose the weight. And then once I'm there, it's all just gonna be easy peasy. I'm gonna love my body. I'm gonna wear the clothes I wanna wear. I'm gonna be filled with confidence. Everything is gonna be magical and awesome. And, yes, there will be some magical and awesome parts.
There will also still be toilets to clean. And, also, No matter what result you have created in the three-dimensional world, the truth of it is that getting your brain and your body onboard with that part of it still takes some effort. It never ceases to amaze me how difficult this last little piece can actually feel. This for me was the disbelief that brought me boomeranging back to my high weight every single time. I was perfectly capable of losing the weight, but I couldn't set myself free of the disbeliefs. It's why I gained the weight back. And my friend, this is what I offer you as your coach is this step of setting yourself free so that you can really truly lose weight for the last time. This part of your journey this part of your journey is either somewhere around the last 5 pounds or It's right after you have finished losing weight.
It's that last little part where your brain kind of refuses to recognize that you've done it, that you're here, that this really is your life now. You're you will hear in your head, especially if you go digging for it, thoughts like, I just want to or I don't know why. What I mean by that is the I just wanna be done or I don't know why I'm still so struggling with stepping on the scale, or I don't know why it still feels like maybe I'm not gonna fit into my pants today. I don't know why. I just can't seem to let go of counting calories, for example, if you're already done losing weight. But here's why, And here's what's going on. Your brain is still hanging on to some old disbeliefs. And the thing is that You've already probably found all of these thoughts.
I mean, you've spent your time journaling. You've dug up the conscious thoughts. You have dug up the subconscious thoughts. Like, There's nothing really surprising in your brain anymore. There aren't any new thoughts that you really truly haven't found, and you've really felt the feelings. Like, you've gone through the despair and the defeat and the and the sadness and the and the what have you. I mean, all of the different feelings that were holding you back from white life. Like, like you've done the work here, but this step is a conscious, intentional setting free.
You are literally well, not literally. You are metaphorically going to set down your old thoughts and pick up new thoughts. Pick up thoughts like, I can lose weight. I did lose weight. I'm done losing weight. I'm never going to need to lose weight ever again. This is my body. This is the exact weight that I wanna be.
This is the weight that I'm going to be as long as I want to. Do you notice how uncomfortable some of these feel, by the way. I'm saying them. And depending on where you are on your weight loss journey, some of them might feel really squirmy right now might feel really untrue. And this is the thing. When you are all done losing weight or right in the last couple of pounds of losing weight, If you don't consciously work on believing these thoughts on purpose, making them feel true in your body, you will continue to spin in your weight loss thoughts, your diet thoughts, your restriction thoughts, your this isn't good enough thoughts, your I don't love my body thoughts. That's the reason we gain the weight back, is because we don't set ourselves free from those old disbeliefs. This honestly is the work that I I think is the most important part.
There's I They're all very important. All 3 of these steps are important. But for me personally, especially with my journey, especially because I gained the weight back so many times. I personally really think that this is the thing that sets mindset work apart from other weight loss programs. Other weight loss programs can get you to the finish line through sometimes, just the sheer will of doing all the body stuff, But this part of doing the real mindset work, really observing yourself, untangling yourself and then setting yourself free. This is why I know. This is why I tell you so often that the work that we do here on the podcast, here with the five o method, and here in the Get Your Goal group, This is how I know you're never gonna need to lose weight again. When you do this work, when you really are capable of observing yourself and feeling your feelings and figuring out how to actually set down the thoughts that don't serve you.
My friend, You can literally do anything. Anything. I really hope that this was helpful for you today. Depending on what part of the weight loss journey you are on. You will well, you'll definitely wanna get the five o method. I mean, that is where we start with the observational work. It's where we start with the daily journaling so that you can really see what's in your brain conscious and and the beginnings of the subconscious work. If you're already doing that work and you'd like a little bit more help digging up the conscious and setting yourself free from the thoughts.
My friend, this is what we do in the Get Your Goal group. In either event, You can find out everything about this at getyourgoal.com. And in fact, the outro that's gonna play right after this is gonna tell you all about The 5-0 Method and how you can download it for free at getyourgoal.com, my friend. I really, really hope that this was helpful for you today. Thank you so much for listening. I'll talk to you again soon. Hey. Thanks for listening all the way to the end of the podcast.
My friend, there's no better time to lose weight, And there's no better way to do it than with the five o method, my free weight loss mindset guide for women over 50. It's simple, sustainable and backed by science. We start with your mindset because your body only goes where your brain goes first. This is the thing that's been missing from all those other weight loss programs you've tried. Download your free copy today at getyourgoal.com.
